Existence of Tea Party Candidates Casts Doubt on Evolution

[babylonsister]

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/existence_of_tea_party_candidates_casts_doubt_on_evolution_20101017/

Existence of Tea Party Candidates Casts Doubt on Evolution

Posted on Oct 17, 2010


OSLO, Norway—Two of the theory of evolution’s most vociferous doubters, Sarah Palin and Christine O’Donnell, may be living proof that Darwin was wrong, leading scientists believe.

A conference of the most prominent evolutionary scientists in the world has concluded that the apparent evolution of Palin into O’Donnell suggests, in the words of Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo, “that Darwin got it backward.”

“We still believe that evolution is more than a theory and is, in fact, a very real thing,” said Kyosuke. “However, in the case of Palin and O’Donnell, it seems to be moving in a reverse direction.”

Kyosuke stunned the conference when he presented his scholarly paper, “Tea Party Politicians and the Theory of Devolution,” in which he studied the “reverse natural selection” at play in GOP candidates for governor of New York. “If we chart the trend line from George Pataki to Carl Paladino, within 50 years, New York might be governed by Cro-Magnon man,” he said.

Paladino did not offer an official response to the scientist’s remarks, but said that he had 100 aides typing on 100 typewriters simultaneously to craft a statement.

For her part, O’Donnell today released her official campaign platform, in which she opposes the use of simple tools and the discovery of fire.
















Fake news by Andy Borowitz

[GoCubsGo]

1. Actually, the jury is still out.

Evolution is a slow process. I'm willing to bet their evolutionary line dies out in time. ;-) One can only hope.

[intaglio]

2. Cladistically, the anthropoid species

Pan Pars Camelia siniensis (Tea Party Ape) is no longer considered part of genus Homo but is considered a near extinct branch of the chimp/gorilla lineage. Obviously much more primitive some even place the speciation as occurring prior to the division that gave rise to the Orang Utan. It has been suggested that closer genetic ties might identify the subspecies as a tarsier rather than anthropoid

The minute brain with unusual, ossified neurons reacts to most unusual stimuli with fear and violence. Although alpha males appear to be in control, like naked mole rats there seems to be a few high status females who can command even more respect. Some of these females display a facial tics and high pitched meaningless chatter which may serve the same purpose as pheromones in the mole rat. Other species specific behaviours are urinating on anything strange, flinging faeces at more intelligent and ethical creatures and vomiting venomous bile.

Of course continued the existence of this species does not disprove evolution for although humans may have largely replaced them they still remain a fully evolved lifeform in their own right. Sadly, or perhaps not in view of it's behaviours, the species does appear to be dying out