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Edited on Tue Oct-19-10 08:12 PM by Atticus
Dudes---
I actually spent a couple of minutes considering how to address you.
"Punk-ass chumps" seemed a little over the top.
"Arrogant thugs" seemed descriptive at first, but I was afraid it might imply a level of intelligence beyond your ken.(look it up)
"Strutting fascist pigs" seemed, overall, the most satisfying, but I was concerned that only one of those words is a part of your working vocabulary.
So---"Dudes":
You know who you are. You are the "men" who get off on intimidating people.
You seem to sport either military buzz cuts or mullets, with the buzz cuts favoring suits, ties and those cool earpieces and the mullets preferring tee shirts with either coiled snakes or grossly misspelled threats. But, you all either "pack" or you imply
that you may be.
Some of you are getting paid by even bigger punks (or punkettes) to keep pesky reporters or just plain folks who ask pesky questions from embarrassing them by exposing their ignorance or their hypocrisy.
Some of you are stupid enough to strut around with semi-automatic weapons strapped to you while seemingly daring anyone to challenge your right to do so. You actually think this makes us liberals wet our pants in fear.
Our real reaction? We are laughing at you! Why don't you just wear signs (we could help with spelling) announcing "I am hopelessly impotent but, by God, I've got a big gun!" If that's too much for you, just "Doh!" would work.
I just want to be sure, in the interest of being fair, that you are aware that not all liberals are pacifists. Yes, I know your employers and handlers have assured you that we are all Depends-wearing pantywaists who will immediately retreat if you get in our face, but---news flash---your superiors lie. Some of us, if pushed too far, will hand you your ass.
Now, not me, of course. I'm a gray-haired arthritic who loves runny brie and dry chablis (look it up) and I wouldn't possibly be a threat to your---snicker---"superior manliness".
But, SOME of us have scarred knuckles, own several firearms and know how to take---and throw---a punch. And, in the experience of some of us, the people who flaunt their firearms and shout their threats are just advertising: "Take me out first!" Thanks.
As for this liberal, I will not be prohibited entry to any public place, I will travel any public way I choose and any of you "dudes" who try to stop me should plan on two certainties: 1.) you will be required to do great bodily harm to the above described gray-haired arthritic, hardly anything to brag about; and, 2.) I will sue your ass till kingdom come for everything except divorce. Other than that, I'm a real teddy-bear!
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
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