According to O'Donnell, Darth Vader is not Luke's father

[jmondine]

The First Amendment of the Constitution does not include the phrase, "Separation of church and state", and Thomas Jefferson didn't use those words in that precise order, either. Never mind that "make no law respecting an establishment of religion" and "a wall of separation between church and state" mean exactly the same thing. In the minds of O'Donnell and her ilk, this proves that the Founders believed in the complete opposite.

Well, Darth Vader never said the often quoted line, "Luke, I am your father." The line is actually, "No. I am your father." Therefore, the exact opposite is true, and Darth Vader isn't related to Luke at all!

Some other revelations:

Bela Lugosi's Dracula never said "I want to suck your blood", therefore he wasn't a vampire.

Mae West never said, "Come up and see me sometime", therefore she was a shy virgin.

Jim Lovell never said, "Houston, we have a problem", therefore he got to walk on the moon.

Forrest Gump never said, "Life is like a box of Chocolates", therefore life is like a Pez dispenser.

[Yeshuah Ben Joseph]

1. Well you know she probably believes this

Al Gore never said "I invented the internet", therefore Chimp W. Bush was legally elected President. :puke:

[jmondine]

2. Or, "Climate change is not happening, and it's not caused by us".

[Cheap_Trick]

3. Captain Kirk never actually said "Beam me up, Scotty."

So he's still stuck on some planet.

[tammywammy]

4. This OP is full of win!!!

[tavalon]

5. I see you fleshed this one out nicely

I usually here these in the rough version. It's the plight of being the wife of a stand up comic.

[jmondine]

6. Why, thank yew...

I appreciate you being a soundboard for my premises, especially at the point when they're only half-baked.

[pinboy3niner]

7. Hey, 'half-baked' fits Christine O'Donnell perfectly

But seriously, this is more than half-baked. More like well done. :)

K&R

[tavalon]

8. Aw shucks!

Here I thought I was your wife and it turns out I'm your groupie. Actually, I guess I'm both.