How to "tea party" up your next event

[ck4829]

Your anti-war protest that brings 20,000 of your friends gets a "meh" from the media? Trying to demonstrate against an issue that the government or a corporation is attempting to pass under the radar? An event that you want to invite family and friends over to?

Well, if you want FREE media attention, then you need to "tea party" it up.

Here's some tips:

* Bring guns. No, not a gun. Guns. Handguns, shotguns, SMGs, assault rifles, mounted machine guns, hand grenades, rocket launchers, etc. And if you can't find enough guns, then bring BB guns, cap guns, take your thumb and index finger and wave it around like a gun. Whatever it takes to make you look very armed and very insane.

* Signs that make you look like you were raging while you were writing them up. You can't go wrong with "SMITH FAMILY REUNIUN IS HERE YOU COMMIES!!!" Notice the all-caps and the misspelling? Well, there you go.

* Make strings of "evil" labels about people. Make it into a game. Things like "Why are you such a Nazi-Communist-Fascist-Muslim-Feminist-Immigrant-Marxist-Liberal-Socialist-Libertine-Fabian-Elite?" Whoever can make the longest string wins.

* Invoke the founding fathers in abstract and incorrect ways. "Clearly, the Founding Fathers never knew we'd be fighting a war against Islamo-Commie-Nazis, so we should suspend the Fourth Amendment for now."

* Claim that things are inventions of the liberal media. Things like the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, evolution, germ theory of disease, etc.

* Effigies. But don't burn them, because not only will it give you the appearance that you might, but it will also make your gathering look bigger from a distance as well.

[Turbineguy]

1. And please, please, please!!!

shave those scroti.

[ThatsMyBarack]

2. "Whoever can make the longest string wins."

Wins what? I private Patriot port-a-potty? (Say that 5 times fast!) ;)