Dept. of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die'

[Touchdown]

WASHINGTON, DC—In the latest in a long series of ominous public pronouncements, the Department of Evil released a statement Monday demanding that all residents of the United States must die.

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Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds told reporters that they, too, must die.
"Yes, all must die," Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds said during a press conference in Room 1228 of Washington's Robert C. Weaver Federal Building. "There shall soon come an accounting in which all will fall before the Grim Reaper as wheat in winter, as lambs under the knife. Soon all necks will feel the steely bite of our soul- thirsting axe, wielded by the unforgiving iron hand of the Department of Evil. Thus spake I, Dread Secretary Reynolds."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dept_of_evil_all_of_you_must_die

Also: John Goodman's Mounth Obviously Full During Dunkin' Donuts Voice Over.

:D

[Deja Q]

1. Then snipe me gently and have it done with.

Remind me what 'community' means first, however. Maybe I missed out on something. :shrug:

[YOY]

2. The paper version in DC kinda pisses me off

I mean, it's comic section has "Prickly City" and "The Leftertons".

Have you ever seen "The Leftertons". It makes me want to stick my foot up the writer's ass. Him and the Mallard Filmore guy...