"Man-up" spouting right-wingers have no idea what it means to be a man

[jmondine]

Being a man, being truly masculine, is about courage, discipline, integrity, self-sacrifice and providing for and protecting your family, community, country and planet.
Not one of these qualities exemplifies republicans or their tea-bagging toadies. Instead, all we get from them is blustering machismo.

Machismo has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with being masculine. It is the fearful lashing out of those who are terrified of confronting their own self-abused, self-repressed feminine side. They are so afraid of being perceived as somehow feminine that they go out of their way to act as non-feminine, as macho, as possible.

I'm calling out the right wing right now. Denounce cowardly acts such as unprovoked violence, bullying and torture. Stop lying about demonstrably provable facts, even ones that you don't like. Stop lying about your own past. Stand up and announce where the money behind your campaign comes from. And most of all, stop dismantling the safety net that protects our communities from crime, disaster, poverty and ill health, and instead champion the cause of all those in your tribe, whether they voted for you or not, whether they gave you money or not.

Man. Up.

[SpiralHawk]

1. What you said

The k and the r.

[lumberjack_jeff]

2. Exactly.

Their only courage is found in the mob.

[enough]

3. Actually, being a man means jabbing your foot onto the neck of a young woman

who is being held down on a curb by a couple of other men. There's a man for you.

[tavalon]

6. There's machismo for you, actually

Childish and fearful people those brownshirts are.

[tavalon]

4. This is one of your best pieces ever

It was even more impactful to me, having you read it out loud to me. And knowing that this is a decades long POV of yours that you've just honed down to such a sharp edge makes it even cooler.

[BeFree]

5. I Hear you

It makes men look awful when we see them living in fear. Fear is a good thing, but you can't let it rule your life. But every tea-bagger I know blames everyone else for their problems because they fear everyone who isn't anything like them.

[tavalon]

8. Fear + Mob = Brownshirts

[applegrove]

7. To be a man is to be responsible. The GOP and teabaggers are irresponsible.

[left coaster]

9. To be a fully formed adult is to be responsible..

..it has nothing to do with gender.

[surrealAmerican]

10. Thank you!

That's a big part of why I don't like that "man up" nonsense no matter who's saying it.

[tavalon]

12. Trust me, the OP doesn't like the term either

He used it in the last sentence to punctuate his very important idea.

[jmondine]

11. True, however...

I believe that each of us has both a masculine and feminine side. I also hate the term, "opposite sex". I believe the masculine and feminine are symbiotic, not opposites at all. Our feminine side manifests in our sympathy, compassion, understanding and nurturing. Our masculine side manifests in the qualities I listed above. Men and women both have the capacity for all of these virtues.
I reject the whole idea that to be masculine is to be crude, violent, destructive and selfish. That's not being manly. It's just being an ass.

[stevedeshazer]

13. This man thinks that Sharron Angle's jab at Harry Reid is despicable.

I agree with you.

+1.

[Skittles]

14. just curious but

how does courage, discipline, integrity, self-sacrifice and providing for and protecting your family, community, country and planet differentiate a man from a woman?

[tavalon]

15. It doesn't actually

He said symbiotic. In our family, each of us does all of these things to varying degrees. Female and male and feminine and masculine are not opposites, they are attributes.

[jmondine]

16. I'm not saying that only men have these character traits

What I am saying is that these traits, rather than stereotypical "macho" behaviors, express the truly masculine side in all of us.
The parallel would be that being feminine isn't about being weak, submissive and subservient, but about being thoughtful, intuitive, compassionate and possessing the power of creation.

[Skittles]

17. those are stereotypes and socially-conditioned nonsense

for example, women are NOT more intuitive than men - they're simply conditioned to CARE more about people which makes them SEEM more intuitive....and LOL, doesn't it take two to create? Believe me, women would be totally different if they were free to do and act with the freedom men have, without fear of being called "shrill" or "slutty" - heck, even simple stuff like shopping - WTF, I DETEST shopping - but, growing up with a mother who didn't drive, I only ever shopped with my dad. PRESTO. I hate shopping as much as he did. I have no "shopping gene". I grew up with five brothers and no sisters. Is it a coincidence I don't like "chick flicks", dresses, high heels, jewelry and makeup? Or that the first time a guy tried pawing me without my consent I broke his nose and teeth? It is all nonsense. Males and females are assigned roles from day one; fortunately, many of us never paid attention.

[tavalon]

18. Everywhere you use the term woman in your post, substitute feminine

And everywhere you use the term man, use masculine. That's what I think you may be missing. I'll admit that I have some added knowledge about what he meant because he is one of my spouses. And I see how each of the adults in this family displays any and all of those traits. I have a lot of masculine traits but no gender confusion - I'm all woman. My spice are both men, yet can be very nurturing and intuitive just as well, if not sometimes better than I.

The one who wrote this grew up in a place where machismo was used far too often as a substitute for healthy masculinity so he came to our marriage with the idea of what healthy masculinity and that which masquerades as such is. I could tell you a thousand stories about his feminine side, which he happens to be very comfortable with, snf he also lacks gender confusion and is happy to be male.

We often discuss in this family how sexist terms are used in political discourse (man up, balls of steel, etc.). The OP, J., says such terms are used because they reflect a societal femophobia and so are effective, if odious.

Discussing the underpinnings of our societal and political games doesn't mean he agrees with them. I questioned whether he wanted to use that last "Man.Up." but from a getting the point across, I felt it held literary merit. He's the stand up comic so he knows how to bring a monologue to a close with a good punch line.

Now, that he's started talking about femophobia and fake masculinity on the board, I suspect he'll be doing it again, at least I hope he will. He has a lot interesting to say on the subject.

The thing you say about societal restraints on women, I really resonate with. When I get home from work (in a traditionally female career) I really notice how I dump the societal expectations and go into the household way, where I tend to be alpha and a lot more of what would would be called traditionally masculine side of myself. As I've gotten older (getting to that Crone stage, what a blessed stage!) I've started caring less about what the world might think and have become more fluid with my feminine and masculine sides throughout my life.

[jmondine]

23. I think we agree more than you realize

It does take two to create. That's why I pointed out that male and female are not opposite but symbiotic.
FYI, I am a man, and am far more compassionate, intuitive and creative than many women I have met. Perhaps it is stereotypical but I define this as my feminine side. You are also dead right about women not being able to act with the same freedom in many areas of our society, especially when it comes to things like assertiveness and sexual expression. I absolutely do not condemn assertive women as shrill or slutty. Chastity and meekness are not feminine qualities at all, IMO. Neither are "chick flicks" and shopping.

You do bring up one point I wish to elaborate on. When you say that women are conditioned to care more about people which makes them seem more intuitive, I would take that even one step further, in that men are conditioned to suppress their compassion and caring lest they seem "weak". In the most extreme cases, boys who exhibit any stereotypically feminine qualities, such as caring, compassion or emotional expression, are so severely rejected by their parents and guardians that they get the message that to be feminine in any way is to be abandoned and to die. This is further enforced by a school system that does nothing to prevent bullying, allowing the child's peers to assault and victimize the boy for being "girly".

These are the men who grow up to be right-wingers. The only constitutional amendment they care about is the one that involves guns, because guns are macho. The only deficit spending they don't scream and yell about is military spending, because war is macho. The only federal domestic laws they support are ones which tell women what to do with their bodies, build walls to keep poor and weak people from having a better life and harass folk for who disagree with them, because all of these things are macho.

My bottom line point is that machismo is no more masculine than romance novels, high heels, jewelry and shopping are feminine. I do not fit my stereotypical societal role as a man any more than you seem to as a woman. I dislike sports, Nascar, and SUV's. I rarely watch bloody action movies. I am married to a strong-willed, assertive career woman. There are many who would call me "whipped" or a "wuss", just as a woman might be labeled "shrill" or slutty". I applaud your rejection of traditional gender roles, and I hope you can appreciate my efforts to reject, and redefine, mine.

[tavalon]

20. They don't

But they do make for a kickass wonderful human being, whether gendered male or gendered female.

[bklyncowgirl]

19. Harry Reid, I believe, once endured bomb threats from mobbed up casino owners

That's back when he was on the gambling commission. I forget the details but he's also supposed to be the real life inspiration for a character in the movie Vegas who refused a bribe.

Sounds like manning up to me.

[jmondine]

22. Damn straight

Courage and integrity right there.

[unhappycamper]

21. "Man up" is just the latest jingle from the right wing of the Fascist Party.

Remember:

Get R Done?
Up R Down?
Cut N Run?