Burn the witch! Burn her!

[Gabi Hayes]

[Gabi Hayes]

1. born under a bad sign

been down since I began to crawl.....

[FiveGoodMen]

2. Are there tickets on sale for the event?

[Gabi Hayes]

3. it will cost you a shrubbery!

one that looks nice, and not too expensive

[texastoast]

4. Look

I got in some deep shit for even saying "hang 'em high" when referring to someone who committed treason. That person happened to be black, unbeknownst to me.

So, when you talk about burning witches, have a little sensitivity here, willya?

[WhiteTara]

5. that's not funny. n/t

[HooptieWagon]

6. I thought it was...

The mob does remind me of teabaggers.

[Gabi Hayes]

8. one big difference:

they're MUCH more logical than the baggers


B: Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIET! There are ways of *telling* whether she is a witch!

Villagers: Are there? What? Tell us, then! Tell us!

B: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

V: BUUUURN!!!!! BUUUUUURRRRNN!!!!! You BURN them!!!! BURN!!

B: And what do you burn apart from witches?

Villager: More Witches!

Other Villager: Wood.
B: So. Why do witches burn?


(long silence)
(shuffling of feet by the villagers)

Villager: (tentatively) Because they're made of.....wood?

B: Goooood!

Other Villagers: oh yeah... oh....

B: So. How do we tell whether she is made of wood?

One Villager: Build a bridge out of 'er!

B: Aah. But can you not also make bridges out of stone?

Villagers: oh yeah. oh. umm...

B: Does wood sink in water?

One Villager: No! No, no, it floats!

Other Villager: Throw her into the pond!

Villagers: yaaaaaa!

(when order is restored)

B: What also floats in water?

Villager: Bread!
Another Villager: Apples!
Another Villager: Uh...very small rocks!
Another Villager: Cider!
Another Villager: Uh...great gravy!
Another Villager: Cherries!
Another Villager: Mud!
Another Villager: Churches! Churches!
Another Villager: Lead! Lead!

King Arthur: A Duck!

Villagers: (in amazement) ooooooh!

B: exACTly!
B: (to a villager) So, *logically*...

Villager: (very slowly, with pauses between each word)
If...she...weighs the same as a duck......she's made of wood.

B: and therefore...

(pause)

Villager: A Witch!

All Villagers: A WITCH!

BURRRRNNNNNN HER! BURRRNNN the WITCH!!!!

[pokerfan]

9. Build a bridge out of 'er!

BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn?
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

That line always cracks me up.

[Gabi Hayes]

10. she turned me into a NEWT!

I got better.

[Gabi Hayes]

11. this one didn't

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0eC29X_vAP0/TJeAeZF0b0I/AAAAAAAABCw/1wdsc4iDMF8/s1600/Newt+elvis.jpg

[Gabi Hayes]

7. is, too