Enroll Now! Classes Starting Soon!

[walldude]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's not just for politicians anymore. The Master of Spin is accepting enrollment in his brand new school, I FUCKED UP UNIVERSITY! That's right folks classes are to begin soon and they will be taught by non other than the master himself. Your professor is an absolute genius of deflecting the fuck up. How many people can actually shoot a man in the face and then have that man apologize for all the harm he's done to your family? That's right folks Dick Cheney himself will be starting classes soon. Enroll today for such political classics as:

The First Amendment 101

In this class you will learn just why Juan Williams was wrongly fired and why Lauren Valle deserved to be stomped on the head.


The Second Amendment 101

In this class you will learn how to show up at a rally with a firearm and look less menacing than a woman in a blond wig.


Brainwashing 101

In this class you will learn how to get your children to go on Television and stand up for you no matter how far down the proverbial rabbit hole you have dragged your country.

And in order to graduate all students must pass:

Victimization 101

That's right ladies and gentlemen no class is more important than Victimization. Dick Cheney will teach you how to be the victim NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Shoot a man in the face? YOU POOR THING! Stomped a woman in the head? GET AN APOLOGY! Turned energy policy over to Energy Companies? SCORE MAJOR PROFITS! Lied about 2 wars, caused the deaths of thousands, left office with an 18% approval rate? GET A CUSHY TV GIG.

And now a word from your professor:

Hi folks, I'm Dick Cheney here to talk to you about I FUCKED UP U. If you are having second thoughts about the high tuition, the time spent or whether or not I am qualified to be your professor I have only one thing to tell you.
I shot a man in the face and afterwords he went on TV to APOLOGIZE TO ME AND MY FAMILY.
Classes begin soon. Visa and Mastercard accepted

[Angry Dragon]

1. But we really love cash

and if you are unable to finish the course
we will then take your first born as noted
in the small print

[walldude]

2. .