Say Hello to your Tea Party America

[gibby2433]

Starting Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010:

FINALLY, White Christians will, officially, rule the land. America will be what it was always meant to be; a Christian Nation. No more will frightened Christians be persecuted for their beliefs. America will stand for one God, where worship in all public venues is not only encouraged but morally right, and you can CHOOSE (we still have freedom and choices in this country) to either join in or keep your godless heathen mouths shut. But if you are NOT a white Christian, fear not, for you will still be "allowed" to live here, too. Just keep your evil, violent Muslim thoughts to yourself, and if you're gay, that's fine, but it will be a class-A felony to "rub our noses in it" in any way.

If you are not rich, that's ok, we still love you. Just stop being so darn lazy. You have the CHOICE (see, more choices in a free society) to either pull yourselves up by your bootstraps or...well, that's not really our problem. Why not inherit some wealth? It sure worked out for many of us Teabaggers. Or start a small business. Banks may give you a small business loan, but they probably won't. You're poor, for crying out loud, and your collateral of a Kirby Puckett rookie card and 9/11 commemorative plate just don't quite cut it. But if you do somehow get a loan (it could happen, government sure ain't gonna interfere), and that business fails, well, that's beautiful capitalism in full bloom. Just don't come begging for a handout. So I guess all I can really say about your poverty, besides it being completely self-inflicted, is...shoot, pull yourself up by those bootstraps. I know I feel better :)

Education is more important now than ever before, as manufacturing has completely gone overseas. Problem is all these public schools are sucking our tax dollars dry, so get your kids in private schools, pronto, cuz public education will become a history lesson. Can't afford private schooling? Get on a voucher program. Didn't get one? Cripes, home school. Home school transcripts getting laughed at by private colleges? Jeez, don't know what to tell ya. Why didn't you get your kids in private schools like I told you? See how wonderful privatized education is!

You spend your entire adult life working. So it stands to reason you've had plenty of time to save everything you'll need for retirement. Well, I HOPE so anyway, because that ponzi scheme Social Security is going bye-bye. We've given you tips on investing in the stock market, but your retirement portfolio went belly-up during the great Wall St. crash of 2023. Oops, sucks to be you. Good news, though, you're only 50, so you have another twenty, twenty-five years to save another nest egg. You ARE willing to work until you're 75, right? Hmm, guess it doesn't really matter if you are or not, cuz that's what you'll be doing ;)

So join me in celebrating our new United States of Christian America, Inc. Where we've privatized literally everything. I don't even really know why we still have a government now. I guess they're still good for bombing more oil-rich countries. And I suppose they're a good middle-man for our cash to Wall St.'s pockets. I mean, we should at least keep giving the illusion of a representative society, right? Heck, who wants to think about the new reality that Corporate America is all the representation we have left in Washington? Next on the agenda, the individual's right to sell their single vote to the corporation of their choice (huh, huh? More CHOICES!) for a loaf of bread or shiny new bible.

Amen*.

*Amen is a registered trademark of USCA, Inc.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

1. You know we have christians here at DU

they're pretty cool people.

[Irritable Liberal]

We need to apply for an official name change

I propose The United States of Amnesia

[LaurenG]

2. I know you'll be happy to hear that you are mistaken.

We're all going to be ok. It's going to take at least 10 more years but we will get there, unless of course we all just give up and die first. ;)

[Bryn]

3. We have the Christian Left on facebook

They're cool and very supportive of gay rights. It's those religious right people that are pretty dangerous who are hateful, twisted ... like Sharron Angle and others.