Why is performing cunnilingus like consuming cannabis?

[Fly by night]

In many states, it is against the law. But that doesn't make it wrong.

As a medical cannabis activist, why, pray tell, would I "go down" this line of argument? Well, we are approaching Thanksgiving and I plan to attend my large extended family's celebration back home in Possum Town, Mississippi. One of my second cousins is an Assistant District Attorney for a large Texas city who is also a closeted lesbian. (She probably has to stay closeted to stay employed.) She has been the most haughty and dismissive of all my relatives about my recent eight year dance with federal weasals over my growing, consuming and providing cannabis to terminally ill neighbors. Her argument has always been: "It doesn't matter what your motives and intentions were. What you did is against the law and that's enough for me." So, this Thanksgiving, if she gets down and dirty with me once again, I plan to ask her the same question.

More interesting "illegal but not wrong" sex facts from "Crime, Punishment and the Ridiculous"
(citation: http://www.journalism.sfsu.edu/flux/gSpot/sexLaw.html )

# Places where oral sex is illegal: Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C. (FBN note: One of the good reasons for me to keep living in Tennessee ... and for my cousin to keep living in Texas. We just both better mind our "p's and q's" while back home in Mississippi.)

# An erection that shows through a man's clothing is illegal in: Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington D.C. and Wisconsin.

# In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. (There's every woman's fantasy gone down the drain).

# In Nevada, it is illegal to have sex without a condom.

# In Willowdale, Oregon, it is against the law for a husband to talk dirty in his wife's ear during sex.

# In Clinton, Oklahoma, it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people have sex in a car.

# In Washington State, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night!).

# In Newcastle, Wyoming, it is illegal to have sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer.

# In Washington D.C., there is a law against having sex in any position other than face to face.

Animals are not exempt from the law either. Here are three of the most ridiculous:

# In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on Kingsville airport property. (The law is silent about three or more pigs.)

# In Fairbanks, Alaska, it is illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.

# Lastly, even liberated California proves to be not quite so liberal for the animals. In Ventura County, cats and dogs may not have sex without a permit.
---

I can't wait for Thanksgiving this year. (And no, I have no carnal intent with the turkey.)

Enjoy what's left of your Sunday. (Just remember to keep the lights off and the shades drawn, whether performing cunnilingus or consuming cannabis. At least for now.)

[SpiralHawk]

1. "You libs will have to figure out the pubie-doobie thingy yourselves. " - Clarence T. Anonymous (R)

[Fly by night]

9. At first blush, I thought you wrote "... finger out ..."

[OneGrassRoot]

27. Reason #4720 that I love DU....

This exchange.

:hippie:

[Fly by night]

71. I emailed a link to this thread to a Republican friend. He responded:

"As soon as I read the title of your post, I read it lickety-split!"

[Travis_0004]

2. I agree with one of those laws

"In Newcastle, Wyoming, it is illegal to have sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer."

That law I can see. I'm not saying the law needs to specifically address every possible issue, but I don't think many people would object to that law.

[Fly by night]

5. While I agree with you from a public health perspective, I would think a frozen meat locker ...

... would result in some major shrinkage long before the deed is done.

[formercia]

7. The sign on the door says:

You can't beat our Meat.

[mysuzuki2]

56. No,tyou CAN beat your meat

you just can't have someone ELSE beat your meat.

[saltpoint]

16. And an armed sentry shall be stationed in the state's

meat freezers round the clock to ensure that no untoward activity is undertaken thereof.

Vigilance is a lonely business, but somebody's got to do it.

[Kaleva]

34. Somebody must of been caught in the act...

for the town to have to pass a law against it.

[Fly by night]

38. "Your Honor, I was just tenderizing meat in there."

"My own."

[UndertheOcean]

# Places where oral sex is illegal: ....,Massachusetts,...

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME !!!!! in Liberal bastion Massachusetts it is illegal to go down on your SO ???????WTF.

[NoPasaran]

12. Massachusetts still has a law against blasphemy too

So watch thyself lest ye wind up in the stocks.

[Chan790]

61. CT, MA and NY all keep their "Blue Laws" on the books...

for historical reasons. Technically the MA law forbids non-procreative sex as sodomy, not explicitly oral sex. These laws were not struck by Griswold v. CT, merely rendered unenforceable.

Technically where I grew up in CT, selling alcohol after 8PM without the approval of the minister of the local Congregationalist church is punishable by 3 days in the stocks. It's a crime of indecency for a woman to drink and another for her to accept a beverage bought for her by a man who is not her lawful husband. It's a misdemeanor offense to drink on the Sabbath. Until about the last 40 years, it was illegal to advertise that you sold alcohol. (As a result, liquor stores were called package stores and to this day, people say "Hey I'm going to the Packy to buy some beer. Does anybody need anything?")

I've never known any of these laws to be enforced, I doubt if they were they'd survive legal challenge.

[Fly by night]

62. If blue laws allowed the police to legally confiscate stores of people who advertised alcohol ...

... and keep the proceeds for themselves (and that behavior had been upheld on appeal), do you expect that blue laws might be more likely to be enforced (vigorously)? Just looking for more parallels with what happens now with cannabis consumers/producers.

BTW, I think the concept of blue laws is a very good addition to this thread (having grown up under them most of my life). Thank you.

[Tesha]

70. Don't you remember "Banned in Boston!"??? It was always a huge selling point! (NT)

[Lucian]

3. Oral sex is illegal in Minnesota???

Looks like I'm going to prison.

[Atlatl]

6. But you can marry your first cousin there...

look on the bright side.

[Lucian]

8. I didn't know I was in TN.

[Goblinmonger]

35. You just can't go down on her.

You can marry your first cousin in Wisconsin, too, if there is medical proof that no children can come from the union.

[Control-Z]

66. Lol!

Sounds like you're going to fit right in here at DU.

Welcome!

[Uncle Joe]

4. I don't have anything against either.

Thanks for the thread, Fly by night.

[Angry Dragon]

10. For Washington state

Does that mean a virgin has to go out of state for their first time??

[Fly by night]

40. I think that is what Idaho is for (and why that state looks like an erection).

[Scruffy1]

11. This is the first post in a while that made me smile

I didn't realize I was a criminal in many states. It seems the courts have struck the one in Minnesota, but these need to go in all states because they are only used against same sex partners. Do you suppose our don't tread on me freepers would agree. Not so much.

[iris27]

24. Actually, most of these laws (while still on the books) were finally invalidated

by Lawrence v. Texas in 2003. Probably not the meat locker one or the animal ones, though!

[kestrel91316]

33. As long as they are on the books they can be "revalidated", and the RWers

would do that in a heartbeat if they could stack the courts.

[asdjrocky]

13. This may be one of the greatest threads of all time.

And all this time I thought I was only breaking the law with cannabis. knr.

[littlewolf]

17. k & R

LOL
thank you ... I love it ....

[Swede]

14. It's illegal to have sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer in Wyoming?

Uh-oh.

[Fly by night]

23. LOL!!

[madinmaryland]

15. Sex in a toll booth is illegal?? What are they going to do in Delaware??

:hide:

[druidity33]

28. only with truckers.

:shrug:

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. These are hilarious! Or they would be if they weren't illegal.

I cannot believe that states that I've always considered progressive would have such archaic, outdated, antiquated laws.

There must be an awful lot of lawbreakers......everywhere!


:rofl:

[librechik]

19. Best smiles all day on this thread. Happy Holidays! n/t

[mirrera]

22. LOL Kick!

[Fly by night]

20. Gives yet another meaning to the phrase "illegal smiles"

[Fly by night]

21. How is performing cunnilingus NOT like consuming cannabis?

They can't take your land for the former (at least not yet).

[mudplanet]

25. There are lots of examples (none quite as silly as these) of laws that the

authorities simply don't choose to enforce.

Mississippi was a dry state (sale or possession of alcohol illegal) until the 1980s (may still be) but they simply ignored the law in Natchez, the Coast, and in one little area near a reservoir about 20 miles from Jackson (so the legislators could have access to liquor while in session). Nice little religiously motivated laws imposed on people by people that claim they want to "get government off our backs." There's a place in the dry county that adjoins Hattiesburg that makes a business of renting canoes to college kids for day trips down the river. They also make a living out of informing the local sheriff if any of those college kids have beer in a cooler. There's a convenient place about a mile down the river where the deputies arrest the students and take them to the justice of the peace where they hold them by their heels and shake all of the money out of their pockets (the canoe rental people are there to claim the canoes as well). The law's the law: you can't even drink beer on a river in the middle of the woods. These are people of principle! I once listened to an NPR story about a lesbian couple in a town not too far from Hattiesburg who were facing opposition to opening a battered woman's shelter in their town. NPR interviewed the locals at their meeting to oppose the shelter and one stated that he was opposed because, "If a man beats his wife she'll just go down to that shelter and they turn her into a lesbian." The alternative of just not beating his wife seemed to escape him (maybe he didn't see it as a viable alternative).

Occasionally you'll read about some District Attorney or Attorney General attempting to get these laws thrown out by simply enforcing them and bringing the absurdity of the law to the public's attention. It usually isn't successful.

Being in my mid-fifties, I know from direct experience (I went to college with these assholes) that many, if not most, of the people who are currently sending people to jail for possession of marijuana (fucking lawyers) once enjoyed the weed themselves and know first hand that it isn't a danger to anyone. But do you think they'd admit that? Or that they like eatin' pussy?

[Fly by night]

36. My home town was "dry" when I was growing up there in the 60s.

Of course, all that meant was that it took a little longer to find the "drive-up" windows to buy any alcohol you wanted. When (as a high school student body officer) I was invited to speak at the local WCTU meeting, I made a point of mentioning how easy it was for anyone (including my high school classmates) to buy liquor in town, the deputy sheriff at the same meeting squirmed a great deal. (And then proceeded to give me mucho traffic tickets for the next month.)

BTW, during that same time period, my county had a law that restricted sheriffs to one term only. They called it the "Share the Wealth" plan.

[mudplanet]

45. If you're talking about Mississippi, the sheriff doubled as the tax collector

until the late 1960's. Sweet job. Every sheriff retired from the job to a big farm.

[Fly by night]

48. Yes suh. And it only took them four years to do it.

My uncle once ran for road superintendent in Lowndes County, Mississippi, on the slogan: "Sure, I'll steal. But I'll steal less than the guy in there now AND I'll repair our damned roads to boot."

He only lost by a handful of votes. As far as I know, that was the one and only time any member of my family has ever run for public office.

[nashville_brook]

26. great post!

[Scuba]

29. Gee, two of my favorite things....

...I guess I'm just a criminal.

[rug]

30. No seeds.

[Fly by night]

49. We have a winner!!

[Kaleva]

31. "it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people have sex in a car."

There goes my Saturday night fun.

[OneGrassRoot]

55. +1000. ;) n/t

[TexasObserver]

32. Note to self: get one more pig before flight to Kingsville, Texas.

One can only imagine how such a law got passed.

[jmowreader]

37. The reason it's illegal to have sex in a meat locker in Newcastle, Wyoming

That's so you can't get fucked anywhere in the meat shop but the cash register.

[Gabi Hayes]

43. I think it's also illegal here:

Beecher meat markets | Find meat markets in Beecher, IL
meat markets for Beecher, IL. Find phone numbers, addresses, maps, driving
directions and reviews for meat markets in Beecher, IL.
http://local.nwitimes.com/beecher il/meat markets.zq.html - 67k - Similar pages

[Ghost in the Machine]

39. Thanks for posting this, Bernie, it was great for a sunday evening laugh

:kick: ed and recommended

Peace within, Peace between, Peace among

[Fly by night]

73. Thanks, Ghost. And now for a word on censorship on this thread.

Let me begin by thanking the DU moderators for the selfless and (really) hard work they do on all our behalf to keep DU a civil and welcoming place. I do appreciate it because this is (by far) my favorite web-site on the internets. I expected (when I posted this thread) that the mods might have to work a bit of overtime to control the tone of the ensuing discussion here.

Consequently, I am not surprised that some posts were deleted (five as I type this note.) However, since I kept pretty close to this thread yesterday, I am a bit puzzled by the posts that were deleted. For example, one of them was so funny (working "joint" and "pork chop" into the same sentence) that I spewed Earl Gray all over my computer screen. I don't remember any of the deleted posts attacking anyone or being especially vulgar. But there must be some reason why they violated our DU rules which, again, I am happy to honor and respect.

At the same time, a poster in another thread (within which I posted a link to this thread) responded by calling this thread "disgusting" while later admitting that she had only read the OP title and nothing more. We have engaged in a bit of give-and-take there (respectfully) over what is "disgusting" and how that relates to communication here. Just for grins, I looked at the most recent OPs on the "Greatest" and "General Discussion" forums and noted that recent titles there include the words "bastard", "crap", "hell", "cocky", "pissy", "bullshit", "damn", "shit(e)", "suck" and (the ever-ready catch-all modifier here at DU) "fuck". (Why do I feel like George Carlin at this moment?)

Let me be clear. I am not calling for DU to censor our discourse more (or less) than they already do. I personally cringe every time I see the word "fuck" in an OP title here because it reminds me of the 18 months I was locked up with real criminals (myself included) where that word and its many variations was used in every sentence, as every part of speech (noun, verb, adjective, adverb, punctuation mark but, mainly, verbal tic). However, DU does give me two ways to censor those threads (by not opening them and by un-rec'ing them), in addition to relying on moderators to assist in that effort when the clowns here get particularly stinky.

To my knowledge, "cunnilingus" is not a dirty word -- it is a medical term. Some people may believe that it is a dirty act (obviously I do not, and most of you who have posted here do not either.) There have been people who have un-rec'ed this OP accordingly and that is certainly their right. But focusing on the "disgusting" word and not the point of the OP (which is the danger of criminalizing that which we do not engage in, support or understand) misses the point entirely. IMHO.

Once again, my thanks to the DU administrators and moderators for keeping this place one of the most eclectic, informative and erudite forums for intelligent discussion on the 'net. And thanks to the anonymous (deleted) poster whose creative combination of "joint" and "pork chop" in the same sentence had me falling out of my chair laughing last evening. But mainly, my thanks once again to DU for allowing us to discuss the absurdities (and negative consequences) of criminalizing what we ourselves do not do or understand.

After all, for (observant) Muslims and Jews alike, the taste of pork chops is disgusting.
For this Southern boy, it is nothing but sweet meat.

[Name removed]

41. Deleted message

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[Fly by night]

42. Be careful now. (Three strikes and all that ...)

[blue_roses_lib]

44. K n R!!!!

And.... IBTL!!! This is the most I've laughed in quite some time.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

46. In Washington D.C., there is a law against having sex in any position other than face to face.

Thank heavens for mirrors. :hide:

[OneGrassRoot]

57. ...

:spank:

:rofl:

:applause:

[Name removed]

47. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

58. Deleted message

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[Warren DeMontague]

50. Actually, unless I'm mistaken, the Lawrence v. Texas decision invalidated those laws.

For the record, I'm strongly in favor of BOTH cunnilingus and cannabis.

[nc4bo]

51. Guess I'm gonna go to jail & hell - oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Oh wait - hubby's going to jail and hell. No mention of bjs hehe. Let me read those state laws again.

Dang conservatives are too dang uptight. They really could use some weed and some good $%&*@$ to loosen up.

Then again, they more than likely do all these things, just lie about it and/or confess once a week - usually on a Wed. or Sun.

[Fly by night]

53. Yeah. Most hypocritical cons I know also sow their wild oats six days a week ...

... and then attend church on Sunday to pray for a crop failure.

[RainDog]

52. LOL. thanks for the laughs. n/t

[Name removed]

54. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

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[TicketyBoo]

59. I guess

Nevada and Washington State must count on immigrants to the states in order to maintain a population?

[jgraz]

63. Well, my girlfriend keeps telling me it'll cure my migraines.

So far, no luck, but she says I need to keep trying.

[Control-Z]

67. Which one

is a migraine cure? Cunnilingus or consuming cannabis?

I would guess that if it's the former your girlfriend is the one reaping the benefits of your efforts.

[phleshdef]

64. I wanna do both at the same time. Double whammy.

[struggle4progress]

65. Thirty-five, forty years ago, fellow told me he'd been abroad, met a nice woman,

and she invited him over to her place "for a blow." So, naturally, being a guy, he thought she was asking if he wanted ... y'know ... Anyway, turned out that was just her way of offering him a toke

[liberalla]

68. WTH ? ? ?

"In Fairbanks, Alaska, it is illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks."

huh?

How do you stop them?

Are signs posted so the moose know to do it in the street or alley instead?

Do the Moose Police come and give them a ticket? Do they have to appear in court? Is it a fine? do they go to jail? maybe they do community service?

I would think interrupting the moose during sex could possibly be dangerous.

That's a damn crazy law.

[madokie]

69. Peace

rec'd

[Greyskye]

72. "cats and dogs may not have sex without a permit."

Well sure, how else do you keep a handle on those evil cat/dog hybrids? You have to draw a line somewhere!

I still think that turkey is in for a world of hurt, even without any evil intentions on your part.


I have my own Thanksgiving nightmare to contend with; my bro-in-law and his wife. He's an HP employee who, although he hated it when Carly Fiorina was running HP into the ground, still plans on voting for her. If the wonderful MiL hadn't forbidden talk of politics at family gatherings, we would have all killed each other by now. I don't understand how such a smart guy from a liberal family turned into a Teaparty Republi-bot. :puke:

[Fly by night]

75. Yeah, I wondered about that myself.

But somehow I think the Ventura law also applied to plain ole dog-on-dog or cat-on-cat sex.

I wish it also applied to someone else's dog hunching my leg at a picnic.

Now THAT should be illegal.

[Fly by night]

74. Abraham Lincoln's thoughts on the "pubie-doobie thingy":

"Prohibition... goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control mans' appetite through legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not even crimes... A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our Government was founded."

Couldn't have said it better. Maybe that is why Lincoln remains one of our most beloved Presidents and I remain only your favorite felon.

[Tsiyu]

76. Cannabis is like a dildo in Georgia

you can't get either mailed to you legally.

Another reason to live in TN!


You make a great comparison here about our ability to choose what we do privately. Is it the government's business?

I hope you give your cousin hell about 'choice." I'm so sick of it all.


Watching those with money do whatever the hell they want, watching Rand Paul & Co. stomp a woman's head, watching all the affluent rob us blind. But it's we little people who always have to be contained, controlled and punished.

I'm just fed up with it all.


Great Post FBN

[Name removed]

77. Deleted message

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[truedelphi]

78. good for you in terms of asking this question to your haughty relative.

And that was a funny list of "illegal" activities.

As usual, K & R.