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Edited on Thu May-24-07 11:52 AM by NormaR
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful conservative princess named Monica Goodling. She only wanted to help people, and lead a life of service. And crush Godless liberals. Yes, she wanted to crush the liberals very badly.
Although Monica went to a fourth-tier law school and never tried a case, she ended up as one of the highest ranking lawyers at the Department of Justice by her early 30's. Monica worked very hard! Monica baked brownies. Monica made sure her evangelical friends also got really good jobs at the DOJ, even though they were very very unqualified. That is because Monica prayed very hard! She prayed for Attorney General Ashcroft. She prayed for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. She prayed for President Bush. She prayed that Harriet Miers would find a husband. She even prayed for Kyle Sampson. But most of all, she prayed that Baby Jesus would help her crush the Godless liberals!
"Dear Baby Jesus", she prayed. "I know there are hungry people in the world, and people who are suffering, and soldiers and women and childern who are getting blowed up every day, but could you please answer my prayers first, Baby Jesus? Could you please help me rid the Department of Justice of Godless liberals!!!"
Monica so wanted to do this herself, but she knew it would be illegal! How, oh how, could Princess White House Liason Monica remove the scourge of liberals from her workplace?? Help me, Baby Jesus, you are my only hope!
And, lo, Baby Jesus did wrought a miracle at the Department of Justice.
Baby Jesus created a memo! A magic memo! A memo that listed all of the bad evil liberals that should be fired because they didn't want a theocratic one-party system like St. President George Bush did! The magic memo was pink and purple and sparkly - Princess Monica's favorite colors! And best of all, the Magic Memo created itself, wrote itself, revised itself, circulated itself, approved itself, fired people and then disappeared itself without human intervention of any kind!!!!
When all the mean old nasty Democrats tried to hold Princess Monica responsible for breaking the law, they just couldn't figure out WHO put the names on that lil' Magic Memo!
But Princess Monica knew! It was Baby Jesus! But the oversight committee has no jurisdiction over Heaven, so they could not subpoena him.
And all the liberals were fired! And no human was held accountable, not even Princess Senior Counsel Monica!
And all the conservatives lived happily ever after!
The moral of the story: Don't be a Godless liberal or Baby Jesus will get you.
Amen.
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