Osama bin Laden's planned State of The Jihad speech for 2010.

[HarveyDarkey]

From: (You know who)
Pakistan

To: Jihadists
Pakistan, Somolia, Afghanistan, and (not telling)

Re: 2010 State of the Jihad Report

Fellow Jihadists, I am happy to announce that the State of the Jihad is good.

While we have not been able to repeat spectacular earlier attacks, we have nevertheless succeeded beyond our wildest dreams over the past year. In fact, our biggest successes have been our failures. Just a few ounces of explosive in a shoe a few years ago forced millions of American travelers to take their shoes off in public and, like pathetic children, shuffle through airport security in their stocking feet.

We learned from that and, on our next operation we put a few ounces of powdered explosive in a guy’s underpants. While it too failed to go off, Americans now not only must shuffle along in stocking feet but are forced to chose between a machine that photographs them naked or have their genitals and breasts fondled by some low-wage government worker.

The frosting on Allah’s cake here is that the cost of all this to us was less than the price of second-hand donkey, while Americans responded to these failed attempts by spending billions upon billions upon billions of dollars to prevent attacks so poorly executed we are not about to repeat them in the same way anyway.

If all this over-reaction continues at its current pace, Americans will soon be so broke and so in debt that no one will loan them any more money. It may get so bad that the American CIA may once again start selling us US arms just to raise enough to bring their troops home from Afghanistan. (Already Americans have begun horning into our heroin operations in Afghanistan as a way to finance their local bribery operations. We are watching this development closely and, if it continues, we will file a "formal complaint”-- (if you get my drift) -- at the next G20 meeting.)

One caution in the coming year to field operatives: avoid taking US dollars in payment. Our analysts predict the dollar will soon be toast, declining in value in direct relation to how much America has to borrow to chase you guys around you guys and to spend on useless stuff like those $150,000 body scanners. (Praise Allah! What a return on the two thousand bucks that failure of an underwear bomb cost us! Eat your heart out Wall Street!)

Learning from these successful-failures, we are moving ahead in 2011 with a series of new terrorism apps:

http://www.newsforreal.com/