One million vegetarian pizzas

[derby378]

Here's a wild thought I've had about the recent Korean conflict and how to defuse it.

North Korea's economy is shot to Hell, and has been for a long time. Nonetheless, it fields a very large military force, but all of its uniforms are sewn by forced prison labor, and even though they get dibs on the nation's food supply, sometimes it just isn't enough. The Dear Leader will personally strangle anyone who suggests he cut back on his Hennessy stash for the greater welfare of the DPRK, and he's not about to provide more food to his starving civilian population - in terms of nutrition, they're practically on their own.

How many of Kim Jong-Il's troops are stationed along the DMZ?

Let's say that Seoul or DC suddenly shows up on the south side of the 53rd Parallel with huge ovens strategically placed alongside the border, each oven constantly cooking up a bunch of pizzas loaded with onions, tomatoes, black olives, mushrooms, whatever regional toppings Koreans like, and (of course) extra cheese. Each oven comes complete with a large industrial fan to gently waft the scent of all those delicious, freshly-baked pizzas all across the DMZ, where the scent will react with the olfactory systems of countless hungry North Korean soldiers. Very, very, very hungry North Korean soldiers. Who have just learned that the Dear Leader has apportioned more of their rice rations for one of his own palatial celebrations.

How many of those soldiers do you think woud gladly cross the DMZ and trade their Kalashnikovs for a few slices of cheesy goodness?

At that point, as long as one Korea is going to invade the other, the South pushes through the DMZ while the guards are receiving some much-needed nourishment and take a few miles of DPRK territory for the south before anyone can say "Juche, my ass."

All without firing a single shot.

:evilgrin:

[Poll_Blind]

1. Well, it WOULD be an expedient way to clear the mines in the DMZ.

Unfortunately, things are more complicated than that. Generations of North Koreans have been born, raised, and died in that crazy world of the personality cult which passes for North Korean politics. It's hard for Americans to understand just how brainwashed the North Korean soldiers/people might be. But that sort of control is real and while I don't recommend it to the faint of heart, if anyone has doubts how warped a human being can get, just listen to the audio recording of the Jonestown Massacre- or more specifically just before it.

Christine Miller, an African American woman who went willingly to Jonestown knew that Jim Jones was crazy when he started suggesting that everyone kill themselves in one last glorious "revolutionary" act. On those tapes you can listen to Christine trying to calmly and reasonably talk sense into everyone- and hear how she is shouted down again and again and again.

By the very parents who would be killing their own children, willingly, proudly within minutes.

There are some kinds of control which twist an individual so far out of our understanding that even our best approaches on how to rescue or save them are useless.

PB

[derby378]

3. I understand where you're coming from

And I'm not saying that years of brainwashing can't harden DPRK troops. Take a look at Kim Jong-Il's personal bodyguards - they're possibly the only personal protection detail that's tougher than the US Secret Service, and the way these guys are trained and indoctrinated is truly insane.

The average North Korean, deep down inside, isn't that much different from you and I - he or she wants a hot meal every now and then, some clothes that fit well and don't have too many holes, and a roof overhead to ward off the summer sun and the winter storms. Never underestimate the power of simple creature comforts to crack the walls of indoctrination and political dogma.

[soleiri]

2. Great idea. However, it could backfire.

What if they are lactose intolerant?

Then they'd have hundreds of angry, bloated North Koreans with tummy aches to deal with.

[derby378]

5. Whatever hot meal would make DPRK troops abandon their post, use it

Doesn't matter if it's pizza, vegetable noodles, barbecue, or whatever.

[Codeine]

4. I don't think most Asians eat all that much cheese. nt

[Warren Stupidity]

6. The army is well fed with korean cuisine.

The civilians are the ones who get short rations. The Korean government is not stupid.

[HopeHoops]

7. Kimchi pizza?

I like kimchi.

I like pizza.

These two things do not belong together.

We've been good friends with a Korean family for about ten years (we helped them learn English and they taught us a good deal of Korean). Pizza isn't a good fit with their likes.

[robinlynne]

8. You have a great mind!