Fallout from WikiLeaks Mess: U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling The Truth Until Further Notice!

[Better Believe It]

U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling Truth Until Further Notice
Fallout from WikiLeaks Mess
December 2, 2010

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In the first major policy fallout from the WikiLeaks disclosures, the State Department has ordered all U.S. diplomats to “cease and desist telling the truth until further notice.”

“We are working overtime to try to make sure that leaks like these don’t happen again,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told reporters. “But until we’ve got the leaks plugged, it’s incumbent on all our diplomats to put on their lying caps.”

Secretary Clinton noted that since many US diplomats are major political donors with long careers in the business world, “this shouldn’t be a reach for them.”

But for those career diplomats who came up through the Foreign Service, the State Department will be holding a series of “truth avoidance seminars,” led by executives of Goldman Sachs.

Additionally, Secretary Clinton said, the State Department would install on all diplomats’ computers new software called CandorShield™, which automatically translates truthful language into a less embarrassing truth-free version.

For example, she explained, the software would translate the phrase “two-faced weasels” into “trusted Pakistani allies” and would delete all references to French President Nicolas Sarkozy as “Monsieur Shorty Pants.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[fascisthunter]

1. And there it is... politicians are asking us to accept corruption

actually they are asking us to be like them, and compromise all priciples down the drain while the rich and wealthy screw us all.

[Whoa_Nelly]

3. It's a satire site report

:hi:

[fascisthunter]

7. lol - slaps own forehead

:blush:

[SidDithers]

4. Woooosh...nt

Sid

[Better Believe It]

5. It's satire. The politicians haven't gotten quite that bad .... yet.

Just wait around for awhile.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

2. I almost chuckled.

:thumbsup:

[RandomThoughts]

6. Ok then, I will translate that document.

The Diplomats are Republican donor types, and many were appointed before 2008 by Bush, and it should not embarrass people now. And much of their work during Bush administration was also for companies, not just state relationships.

Funny thing is Fox is yelling about it, when many were written by business Republicans, and why would Hillary get the blame?