I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

[FloridaJudy]

I found this via a link from Scientific American. Wouldn't you know, this article links to a whole list of conservative web-sites, including The Site Which Cannot Be Named? The Scientific American writer thought it was satire. I'm not so certain, and even if it is, does anyone want to take any bets about how many wing-nuts are nodding their heads right now and agreeing "How very true!"?

http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/05/18/heliocentrism-is-an-atheist-doctrine/

Blogs 4 Brownback
May 18, 2007
Heliocentrism is an Atheist Doctrine

What’s even worse than the debate raging in American schools about the teaching of the soulless doctrine of evolution, is the non-debate over an issue that rational Americans have foolishly conceded to the secular among us: the issue of Heliocentrism, or the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

(snip)

It seems clear that it may occasionally be convenient to assume that the calculations of Copernicus and Kepler were mathematically sound. However, for both moral and theological reasons, we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses. Don’t take my word for it, or the evidence of your own senses, Copernicans. There’s also the Word of the Lord:

“He has fixed the earth firm, immovable.” (1 Chronicles 16:30)

“Thou hast fixed the earth immovable and firm …” (Psalm 93:1)

“Thou didst fix the earth on its foundation so that it never can be shaken.” (Psalm 104:5)

“…who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast…” (Isaiah 45:18)

“The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.” (Ecclesiastes 1:5)

“Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.” (Joshua 10, 12-13)

The only way that this would make sense to me would be if I consumed a lot more home-grown pharmaceuticals during the sixties than I actually did.

[Fierce]

1. "Never be shaken"?

Earthquakes are against God? What th'?

[durtee librul]

2. Oh dear gawd.....

is this for real? Next thing you know we'll be having witch trials again too.

[Kutjara]

3. I'm surprised he didn't argue for a flat earth as well.

The poor fool doesn't even realise that his "critique" of relativity is itself relativistic. Yes, we can say that the Earth is stationary and that the whole universe revolves around it. We can also say that the Moon is stationary, or Proxima Centauri, or Epsilon Eridani. Any point in the universe can be decreed to be "the center" for the purpose of calculation. That doesn't make the Earth special, however. Quite the contrary. Perhaps the old American Indian (can't remember which "tribe") maxim that everyone is the center of the universe makes the most sense of all.

And using quotes from Scripture in a scientific argument makes about as much sense as using quotes from The Lord of the Rings.

On edit: I guess he doesn't believe in the speed of light limit either. If, as he asserts, all the stars in the universe are fixed to a sphere "one light day" in radius, this sphere would have to rotate at 156,508,484,601,667 miles per second, in order for it to make a complete rotation around the earth once per day. This is, of course, far greater than the limit of 186,000 mps asserted by relativity theory. Somehow, The author of the article believes that an enormous sphere of unimaginable mass, rotating at a speed that would cause even atoms to fly apart is more believable than a relativistic universe.

[TreasonousBastard]

4. And it links to...

http://www.fixedearth.com/

"There ain't no cure for stupid."

[genie_weenie]

5. I believe this is tightly controlled satire. n/t

[TheWraith]

7. Unfortunately, it's not. Check out the rest of the blog--dead serious. NT

[dave_p]

6. I liked these

"2) The earth moves only thru abstract, abstruse, and esoteric mathematics invented to make it move.

4) Relativity is pure claptrap and there isn’t a person reading this who can’t know that fact."

:rofl:

I thought at first this was another "Daylight Saving causes global warming" spoof, but it seems to be genuine. It's going to be a bumpy few decades if they don't have us back in the Stone Age first.

[Matariki]

8. This sure seems like parody. Are you sure it's not from the good folks at Landover Baptist Church?

[Matariki]

9. wow - the comments w/ the author's anwers are pure genius

thanks for the entertaining link.

I especially like his 'update II' : "UPDATE II: Look, people, even your Heliocentric hero Galileo recanted his idiotic notions about the Earth revolving around the Sun. If he’s your so-called reliable source on this, I think it does wonders to shatter the idea’s credibility that one of its main proponents backed away from it so abruptly."

Didn't Gelileo retract because he was jailed an threatened w/ death by the church? yes, i'm pretty sure that was it.

And i still think this is very funny parody.