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Sad to say, a lot of the features that made FDR a great president, made him a lousy husband &father

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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:03 AM
Original message
Sad to say, a lot of the features that made FDR a great president, made him a lousy husband &father
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 10:04 AM by Captain Hilts
So many people that knew him noted that he just had no attachment to people. He preferred groupies. But, the minute you expected something in return or became needy, he dropped you. By the end of his life he'd worn out most of the people around him. Sad.

Harry Truman said FDR was the coldest man he'd ever known.
Clementine Churchill - yes, CLEMENTINE CHURCHILL - thought FDR the most self-centered man she'd ever met and was disgusted that FDR suggested one of his sons having an affair with one of her daughters. She told him "They're both married to other people."

Someone once told Eleanor that FDR was the most self-centered, egotistical men he'd ever met. She responded, "Yeah, well, you HAVE to be if you're going to be president."

He just didn't get personally involved or have a personal stake in the people around him.

So, there is no direct correlation between personal virtue and being a good president. In many ways, almost the opposite is the case.

The key is not doing anything that makes you vulnerable to blackmail.


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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
1. I think you can almost make a generalization about this for all great people...
...look at Einstein, so consumed in his work he wrecked his marriage...look at all the Hollywood marriages that fall apart (not to equate a two-bit actor with FDR) but consumed by what you're doing and the stuff us "normal" people deal with gets put to the side.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yes. It's about being a Type "A" as much as anything. But add the demands of the office and
what it takes to get there.

Look at the good marriages in the WH: TR, Hoover, Coolidge, Carter, Reagan, Ford.
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:12 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Yeah, when Nancy Reagan was president, she didn't cheat on
Ronnie!
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:19 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. Only her hairdresser knows for sure. But, it does seem the Rs had a good marriage,
though, on paper, it's not what most folks would consider good.

But, the Rs made it work and seemed to like each other. What the hell, he called her 'Mommy'.
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:26 AM
Response to Reply #1
9. Yes... it seems that very focused, successful, intelligent people....
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 10:28 AM by hlthe2b
often carry this rap-- of being "cold, detached, aloof." As a type A person, myself, who, from time to time becomes "laser-like" in focus when a major project is underway, I understand how off-putting this can be for others. I think a lot of ADD-affected adults may come across this way, as well--so intent they are on focusing their scattered, yet intelligent thought processes...

The truth is that a person who devotes the majority of their waking moments to thinking of others' feelings and being warm and cuddly to others may be less likely to be able to shift the balance abruptly to critical crisis-level decision making. As history has shown, this was a trait and something we needed so much from FDR during his incredible time in office. I would argue that despite his shortcomings towards those closest to him that he showed his compassion and caring for those around him through his policies. I also think we have to factor in his overcoming the constraints of polio--something that would have required intense personal and independent effort.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #9
13. I completely agree with your 2nd paragraph. Some historian said that FDR and REagan were exact
opposites in this sense. If you walked into the Oval Office to tell the prez your personal financial problems, Reagan would hug you and give you the shirt off his back, then sign legislation that would screw you over. With FDR, it was the opposite, he could be completely insensitive on a personal level, but would make sure legislation helped you.
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FreakinDJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. Maybe we can post photos of him sunbathing with Nude Girls next
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 10:06 AM by FreakinDJ
I fucking Hate these thinly vailed RATpubliCON attacks on famous Democrat Presidents
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Huh?
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #2
10. Actually, given the timing, that occurred to me as well..
Edited on Thu Jan-21-10 10:33 AM by hlthe2b
but, this doesn't seem to be from a new book or article... Just the OP's comments from their own reading, I think
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:17 AM
Response to Reply #10
16. Yes.
I've read a LOT about FDR. The more you read, the more compelling you find him, the more you admire him but the less you like him. It's weird.
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PATRICK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:12 AM
Response to Original message
6. The rich person's syndrome?
The Kennedys often surprised some loyalist workers by taking them completely for granted. They were not cold to their family but the factor of total money independence with resources and servants at constant beck and call created a huge social blind spot in their personal lives at least. Poor people who get power often worry a lot more about their position and react differently, perhaps belligerently or constantly trying to please or being more savvy on the reward and punishment system.

Our money politics system now in place does not widely create people without major social problems, economic blind spots or normal populist proclivities. On the money side FDR is considered an aberration, the Anti-Mammon, the traitor to his class.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Yes. That's definitely part of it. Dean Acheson objected to being addressed by his
first name "in the way he would address his gardener," nearly a direct quotation.

FDR did the same thing that GWBush did - he assigned people stupid nicknames that they often disliked.
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OHdem10 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
11. Oooeeeeee- have the Fundies invaded DU. ???
Great People cannot be great at all things.
What is with the attacking FDR???
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:12 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Just pointing out that good marriages don't predict how good a prez someone will be. FDR was THE
greatest prez of the 20th Century, but could probably not be elected today.

So, cut the "fundie" crap.
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PATRICK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:15 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. With apologies
Every one of us has flaws. Those few without any simply don't often get far in the mad world of politics.
I have great disrespect for the word "great" as tossed about fundamentally limited creatures but no disrespect intended for the wealthy who gave their lives and careers for true public service and the interests of the people. Where you come from forms your thoughts and actions, reflexively, without malice aforethought. Hitler was not a rich guy. FDR was. Berlusconi is. Bush is. Fascism and democracy have faces and systems often turned upside down by moral direction. The main point is that in our nation, now, wealthy representatives dominate a world full of populist woe they cannot empathize with and ruined by people they club with. By math and guesswork that is not always a formula for a healthy democracy. Thanks to the occasional "traitor to his class" democracy survived and thrived through the depression and a "Great" War, but the main influences of money are reasserted with a special malice and vengeance that- in my viewpoint minus the optimism- is leading this world to being one massive deathcamp(sometimes literally) run by completely degraded incompetents.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. I generally agree with what you've typed here. It takes a certain kind of person
to get to the top of the heap. And, we still rely on 'traitors to their class'.
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Jennicut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:14 AM
Response to Original message
14. Many Dems heros failed personally.
They are human, not Gods.

All 3 Kennedy brothers, LBJ, FDR.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. Republicans also. This isn't just a rap on Dems or FDR. He's THE greatest prez
of the 20th Century, but had issues the press today might not have let him overcome.

Also, he wasn't the shameless hypocrite John Edwards is. FDR could not be blackmailed. Folks around the Roosevelts understood that their circumstances were screwed up by: his career, his mother, his polio, etc.

A lot of the traits used to depict the Roosevelts as having a bad marriage are also present in the Churchill's marriage, though the Cs had, by all accounts, a good marriage. They were both 'wealthy' marriages. The wealthy are different and live differently. They can afford separate vacations, for example.
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Jennicut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. The media was different then. Now it has become a game to take down people.
Though sometimes these politicians have to learn not to put themselves in those positions to begin with.
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-21-10 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #19
20. You're exactly right. What Edwards did was beyond infidelity. nt
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