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... and isn't THAT what the nation has been waiting for?
With all of the current discussion about Obama’s possible SCOTUS nominees, I started thinking (always a dangerous thing, in and of itself) about who I would nominate, were I the current POTUS.
I freely admit (reason No. 2,379,423 why I’m not the president) that I have a mean streak which, combined with a very dark sense of humour, would undoubtedly lead to some rather interesting suggestions.
Here is my personal short list:
In the Number Five position, none other than Harriet Miers. This one is strictly for laughs. It would be endless fun to watch the rightwingers argue with my initial announcement that if former President G.W. Bush thought she was the most qualified person he knew for the position, I would naturally defer to his better judgment.
Number Four: Orly Taitz. The country would wait with bated breath as she decided between (a) accepting a position that would garner the attention she so desperately craves and (b) stating that she couldn’t possibly accept a nomination from a president who, being a non-citizen, has no legal authority to nominate anyone.
Number Three: Michael Moore. Just to watch freeper heads explode – and isn’t that reason enough?
Number Two: Reverend Jeremiah Wright – because, as I will explain at length, the Supreme Court should include a well-known Christian minister, being as we’re a Christian nation and all.
My Number One pick would, of course, be Sarah Palin. This nomination would serve many purposes, to whit:
The MSM would cover the confirmation hearings 24-7 – which would, albeit inadvertently, get the public-at-large interested in the process.
In response to the first question, i.e. being asked to state her full name for the record, (clearly a “gotcha” question that no one should be expected to answer), she would undoubtedly respond after consulting her palm – and would forever after be officially known as “Energy Tax Lift-American-Spirits”.
The Democratic interlocutors would automatically be perceived as “being mean to poor Sarah” by asking any questions at all – such meanness giving audience member Mrs. Alito another opportunity to display her one, oft-unappreciated talent: being able to cry on cue.
Ordinary citizens would have a shot at collecting millions of dollars by placing on-line bets with Pinpoint-the-time-she-first-says-“You betcha!”-in-response-to-a-question.com.
The unbridled joy of hearing Ms. Palin, when asked about how many amendments to the Constitution she is familiar with, reply, “All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years,” and/or, “I’ll get back to ya on that.”
Listening to Quiterella explain how “your Department of Law there in the White House” actually works.
Hearing Ms. Sarah reiterate her vast knowledge of previous of SCOTUS decisions by confidently restating what she’s already opined: “Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America, there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―"
Millions of TV viewers tuning-in to see if Sarah actually shows up for the hearings wearing an S&M leather jacket and spiked-heel boots, and has her special-needs baby in tow as frequently as she did on the ’08 campaign trail.
The after-hours interviews on Larry King Live with Levi Johnston – and his answers to the question, “So whadda ya make of this whole Supreme Court thing, kid?”
Watching Sarah squirm as she is queried about her financial records, including the taxes she hasn’t paid on the structures built on her Alaska property, and where the funds came from to build her residence. Added bonus: the launch of a new reality series, “Watching Sarah Squirm”, which the Discovery channel could air to recoup its future losses on that ‘nother Palin show they were so quick to shell out for.
Reading John McCain’s TV Guide review of “Watching Sarah Squirm” – the only job he’s likely to get in future, and a suitable position at that.
For those who be would outraged by my nomination of Sarah (including all fans of the FB “A Million Fans Against President NanceGreggs’ SCOTUS Nomination” page), I can only reassure you that there is no danger here. No doubt lovely Sarah would quit partway through the confirmation hearings (I’d give it three days, tops – but that’s just me), and we could all move on to more serious considerations.
But wouldn’t it be Sarahloverly? (Cue one of a brazillion YouTube songs here …)
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