Mr. President - Pick me for the Supreme Court!

[Writer]

I post political opinions on the Internet. That makes me SOUNDLY qualified for this job!

You can't beat my political acumen - I'll ALWAYS make decisions that "the American people" want. Why? Because I know "the American people." "The American people" are friends of mine. Like... all of them.

And when it comes to the law? Pa-shah! The law should always follow my political acumen. I know "the American people," after all. I'm pretty sure that all of my decisions will be constitutionally sound, because by damn, I know I'm always on the right side of the law. Always. If I know the American people as well as I do, then for sure, I'll also know the U.S. Constitution.

But that also means that I'll weigh every case with the laser sharp focus of a political ideologue. For me, decisions will be fast and efficient. There's no need to wait around for me to judge the merits of a Supreme Court case, because all I'll need to do is check the case against my world view. If it fits my ideological precepts, then I'm giving it my courtly stamp of approval. If it doesn't fit, then I'm going to kick the case all the way back to federal court. Simple. Efficient. Done by 5pm.

So there you go, Mr. President! I couldn't be more ready to wear one of those long, black dresses and hammer a gavel. I've been posting political opinions on the Internet for a long time, after all. I am RRRREADY with a capital "R."

CALL ME!!!

:hi:

~Writer~

[gateley]

1. Quick! Have Skinner delete any questionable posts before the vetting process begins! nt

[Jennicut]

2. Did you know the youngest Justice ever appointed was 32?

I could be the second youngest at 34! Sadly, I have no legal background. But I too, post on the internet...a lot.


More info on the youngest Justice ever:

President James Madison nominated Associate Justice Joseph Story to the US Supreme Court in 1811, when Story was just 32 years old.

A native of Massachusetts, Story practiced law and served in the U.S. Congress before joining the Supreme Court. Later he also became a law professor at Harvard University and wrote a number of influential legal papers, including a commentary on the U.S. Constitution.

Story also wrote the majority opinion for the famous 1841 case of slave mutiny aboard the Spanish ship Amistad, in United States v. Amistad, which was later used as the basis for a Steven Spielberg movie. In the Amistad case, the Court ruled 8-1 to release the slaves. Only Associate Justice Henry Baldwin dissented.

Joseph Story served until September 1845, and died in office at the age of 65. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_was_the_youngest_US_Supreme_Court_Justice_in_history

[Clio the Leo]

3. Not a bad choice....

... but only because you almost always agree with me. :)

[Go2Peace]

4. Sorry, I must be in the wrong place. I thought this was a forum where people discussed politics

My mistake :think:

[boppers]

5. Sorry, you don't have enough past documents to *prove* you're liberal enough.

Also, there's that thing about your birth certificate....

[Sky Masterson]

6. I would like to testify AGAINST Writer being allowed on the SCOTUS

She has made comment after comment about certain things in my Coke..
She has pinched my butt on 17 different occasions,and she has called me Candy-britches numerous times.
Also..She names her pets after LOTR characters..
:rant:

[Sebastian Doyle]

15. Not to mention all of her obsessive threads about Generation X

I mean they were a good band and all, but they broke up in 1981. Enough already! :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFhfrbGaaJw

[Sky Masterson]

16. I think she is an X-oholic

Drunk on a genre. :P

[jefferson_dem]

7. Ha.

Nailed it. I suggested something similar yesterday.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=433&topic_id=291340&mesg_id=291516

[NJmaverick]

8. LOL! Is that you Glenn Greenwald?

[QC]

9. I think a person has to be an adult to serve on SCOTUS. n/t

[namahage]

12. Technically, there is no such requirement.

Unlike Article I (where House members need to be at least 25, and Senators 30) or Article II (where the President needs to be 35) there is no age or even citizenship requirement in Article III:

Section 1.
The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

[Sky Masterson]

14. Too bad snarkyness isn't required

:eyes: You'd be a shoe in.

[Arkana]

10. Feh.

I knew the American people. The American people were friends of mine.

Mr. Writer, you're no American people.

[WeDidIt]

11. Clearly, Lord High Douchenozzle Greenwald is the only choice for Associate Justice

There is not another person in the country as good and liberal.

[HughMoran]

13. Funny

It's as if a vote is going to be taken after the new justice seats, and if the court votes itself "less liberal" than it did under Stephens, then the world will cease to exist. No. It's difficult to find right-leaning justices - THESE are the people whom you mock in your post who make their decisions based solely on political ideology (i.e. Alito, Thomas, Roberts & Scalia). Finding people with that sort of bias is difficult and I do not understand why anybody would want to knowingly put a biased person on the court - it makes no sense. Obviously in the real world, the Republicans do put the most biased person they can find on the court, so clearly the Democrats should be equally simple-minded, right? Maybe. The thing is, most fair-minded women in this country (like Kagan) will, simply based on their LACK of bias make decisions that we will interpret as "liberal". Why? Because there is more than just a chuckle behind the phrase "reality has a liberal bias".