Goldman’s Massive Bonuses ‘Totally Deserved,’ Says Satan

[ProudDad]

In a rare press conference, the usually reclusive Prince of Darkness defended Goldman’s bonuses today, welcoming reporters at his apartment in New York’s Trump Tower.

“I don’t doubt for a minute that my friends at Goldman deserved those bonuses,” Satan said, adding that “buying their souls was the best investment I ever made.”

“It really is the gift that keeps on giving,” he chuckled.

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Elsewhere, President Obama praised the New York Giants for compromising with the Philadelphia Eagles.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/