House Condescendingly Approves $400 In Added Stimulus

[Kber]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/house-condescendingly-approves-400-in-added-stimul,21315/

WASHINGTON—Following President Obama’s speech on the state of the U.S. economy Thursday, House Republicans patronizingly approved an additional $400 in added fiscal stimulus and then sarcastically urged the nation to use the money to go fill in a pothole or fix a broken streetlight. “Knock yourselves out, America—don’t spend it all in one place,” House Speaker John Boehner told reporters, adding that he was absolutely certain the influx in funds would “rally your precious little markets” and “create jobs as far as the eye can see.” “Here’s your government spending, assholes. Only $1.4 billion more and you can get to work on one of those light rails you keep talking about.” Sources confirmed Boehner later threw a five-dollar bill onto the Capitol steps, saying, “While you’re at it, go buy yourselves a traffic cone.”

[Xipe Totec]

1. It's getting to be so hard to distinguish sarcasm from reality... nt

[Proud Liberal Dem]

5. I was just thinking the same damned thing!

Sometimes the Onion articles don't seem THAT farfetched and some are even frighteningly prescient (like the 2001 Bush article) , which is kind of scary. :scared:

[Enrique]

2. reminds me of the "terrible teabagger"

[Pirate Smile]

3. Ok- the last sentence literally made me LOL.

[unblock]

4. the sad truth is the republicans wouldn't even approve that!

perhaps some democrat SHOULD propose this as a "wedge issue".

i'm sure there would be plenty of teahidists lining up to say "not one dime!"

[Phx_Dem]

6. Republicans should spend the money to buy shovels, because

they're digging their own graves.

:D

[samsingh]

7. i hate sarcasm posted as reality

it takes time to realize it.

[Cali_Democrat]

8. LOL!

[chill_wind]

9. LOL!

[boxman15]

10. LOL The Onion is a national treasure.

nt

[Lord Helmet]

11. lolol

:thumbsup: