Bride sues Groom for $100,000 for calling off wedding

[The Straight Story]

Bride sues Groom for $100,000 for calling off wedding

A Chicago bride is suing her ex-fiance who decided to call off their wedding just a few days prior to the big event.


The bride claims that she had shelled out nearly $100,000 for the banquet hall, dress, flowers, etc and she was left holding the bill. It seems she may have tacked on a few bucks for "emotional distress" as well.

Do you think that the ex-fiance should cough up some cash? Should he be required to fork over the whole thing since he's the one who broke off the engagement or should the expense be split evenly? Or is the bride out of luck and responsible for the whole thing since most of it is in her name?

http://www.nj.com/shopping/index.ssf/2010/12/bride_sues_groom_for_100000_fo.html

[leftstreet]

1. I don't know. But this thread could have potential

:popcorn: :beer:

[tavalon]

14. Bridezilla with no common sense

[TBF]

45. +1 for amusement factor - nt

[Javaman]

61. Yes, it really does.

Pass some of that, will you?
:popcorn:

[Tikki]

2. Honestly, I don't know....

The gentlemanly thing to do would be to let her
keep the ring and sell it; maybe pay half of the
cost of all the reservation forfeits.

Is there such a thing as wedding insurance?

Tikki

[KittyWampus]

25. If there isn't, there should be. You might have just come up with your million dollar idea!

:)

[TARAmisu80]

46. I believe there is..

but as far as I know, it only covers natural disaster type stuff; not the groom skipping out of the wedding

[jmowreader]

75. I think I see the newest derivatives market

They have such a thing as "weather swaps," where you buy a contract that pays off if your outdoor festival gets rained out.

Coming soon: the Wedding Swap! You pay a premium and get made whole if you turn out to be too over the top to go on Bridezillas! and your fiancee hauls ass.

[Turbineguy]

3. Pay up pal,

you're probably getting off cheap.

[Blue_Tires]

18. one could only imagine what she'd ask for in a divorce...

[Motown_Johnny]

55. it may be that she has all the money

and that he has little to none



It is just an assumption based on the fact that she was paying for everything in the first place combined with the fact that he had worked a temporary job in Colorado. No other information about his employment was in the article.


I'm betting she knows he can't even afford a lawyer and that this is simply an attempt to ruin his (financial)life.

[csziggy]

89. Normally the bride (or her family) pays for the cost of the wedding

The groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. If the bride or her family have little money and she is marrying into a wealthy one, sometimes the groom or his family will pay for an elaborate affair so as not to be embarrassed in front of their family, friends and business associates.

[struggle4progress]

4. Meh. It sounds like one of those private disputes where each party runs around telling

everybody else what an a**hole the other party is, while everybody else rolls their eyes and wishes both parties to the dispute would go far far away to sleep off their liquor -- or whatever else it is that ails them

Lawyers and judges get paid big bucks to poke through the shit in cases like this and to pick out the broken glass bits that one or the other party claims is a priceless jewel

Why should the rest of us care?

[Raine]

5. Wow spending that much on a wedding that

didn't even come off! :wow:

[The Straight Story]

10. Yeah, that is what caught my eye

I would rather spend the money on honeymoon :)

[Cal Carpenter]

35. Yeah like a 2 year honeymoon

Holy shit. $100k?

I say fuck em both. Consider it a tax on the rich. Hopefully the people working for the companies that are keeping the deposits are getting paid well.

[Motown_Johnny]

56. I wonder if she files as a small business owner and needs those tax cuts

for things like this.

[Liquorice]

6. In some states, the law is that the person who calls off the wedding

is responsible for the costs. I read that Illinois is a state that has a Breach of Promise to Marry law, which means she will probably win her suit.

[mwooldri]

17. NC has an "Alienation of Affection" law on its books.

In other words, if the groom went off with someone else, the to-be bride could sue the grooms' fling for the cost of the wedding and more...

Mark.

[HEyHEY]

7. The honourable thing for him to do is crack open his wallet.

[cleanhippie]

36. Why is that "honorable"?

[HEyHEY]

39. Because he lead this girl on then broke her heart at the last minute

I would have though that was obvious

[cleanhippie]

44. How did you get that from the article?

Have you read anything other than this one article? How do you know thats what happened? I think you are jumping to a pretty big conclusion here. Besides, it sounds as if you are seeing this as some kind of punishment for something.

[dsc]

58. because he told other people the wedding was off before he told her

[cleanhippie]

60. Wow, just wow.

One source. One article. Hearsay. Conjecture. Bias.

Do you form all of your opinions like this?

[dsc]

67. your claim was there was nothing in the article that told us he had done that

there was something in the article which had told us that.

[cleanhippie]

69. No, it wasn't.

Perhaps you should read my post again.

[dsc]

74. Here was your title

How did you get that from the article?

and yes, one could get that from the article due to the part I quoted.

[cleanhippie]

77. You forgot the rest of it.

Have you read anything other than this one article? How do you know thats what happened? I think you are jumping to a pretty big conclusion here. Besides, it sounds as if you are seeing this as some kind of punishment for something.


Lets make sure to keep it in context, mkay?

[Javaman]

63. Read my post down thread...

The flip side is: she lied to herself.

I was a videographer for weddings for years.

Read down thread.

[SoCalDem]

8. Good Luck with that...n/t

[Hassin Bin Sober]

79. She probably has a good case.

Especially if she can determine a time-line of his "cold feet" and any money spent subsequent to his lack of desire to perform on their contract.

[mikeytherat]

9. As a working musician, I've played a million weddings. Once I got paid for doing absolutely nothing.

We had a wedding gig, and the groom was caught in a "compromising position" a few weeks before the big show. As the wedding was canceled within 30 days of the event, the couple had to pay 50% to the band, the caterers, the venue, etc. Flash forward six months and the wedding is on again. Lo and behold, two weeks before the New Big Day, the groom does it again, and the wedding is canceled. Again. Once again the band, the caterers, etc. get...50%.

It took six months, but I got a whole paycheck without playing a note.

mikey_the_rat

PS
One gig we did was similar, except the bride went on the festivities (a "Thank God I Didn't Marry That Loser" party). That was awesome.

[Le Taz Hot]

49. I Sang at a Wedding Once

and was invited to the reception (friend of the family). The bride and groom had a knock-down-drag-out fistacuffs right there on the dance floor. Family members got in the middle of the fray and, well it was a good ole' fashioned donnybrook. What a way to start a marriage.

[Javaman]

66. I was at a wedding once...

where the chef and the head waiter got into it. upset tables knocked down decorations, etc.

It was a blast.

Of course the bride and groom weren't too pleased. LOL

[Javaman]

65. LOL they are awesome!

I was a wedding videographer. I had a few of those paid days off myself. LOL

[RugbyGod]

87. What about a new field called Wedding Insurance?

People can purchase it like they do any kind of insurance up to a certain amount, in this case 100k.

But like other people have already mentioned weddings are insane lately and if you are going to spend 100k you better be sure this is the one.

[cbdo2007]

11. Depends on why he called it off.

if it's cause she cheated with his dad, then she should pay him for emotional distress and grossness

if it's just cold feet, sure make him pay

[ProdigalJunkMail]

34. +1

[AngryAmish]

12. There was a reason I made a strict "no lawyers" rule when I was dating.

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

13. I think it depends largely on the charges and how things were purchased.

#1) Did they both agree upon the item in question?
#2) Was either party overzealous in pursueing an item/service at a far higher premium than typical or necessary?
#3) Which partner moreso has the MEANS to cover that bill?

[lynne]

15. He needs to cough up some money -

- sounds like "Breech of Contract" to me.

[GoCubsGo]

16. Jeez, they could buy a nice house in my neighborhood for that kind of money.

Got to wonder if her fiance broke it off BECAUSE she was spending that kind of money on the wedding.

[madmom]

19. According to the article, his "feelings changed" more than a year ago, I think ..

he needs to pay up, he could have told her much earlier and maybe cut the cost immensely.


"At some point before the wedding, Salerno began telling people the wedding was off, the suit alleges. Buttitta confronted him Sept. 25, after her sister allegedly spoke with her fiance’s co-worker, who said the wedding was canceled, the suit stated. He initially denied that, but then called off the wedding two days later, the suit stated. He allegedly said his feelings had changed after he returned from a temporary job he took in Colorado more than a year earlier."

[hobbit709]

20. If she wanted a $100K wedding to start with

They would have been headed for serious financial issues later on.

[tammywammy]

21. I could see a 50/50 split of the cost for the banquet hall, lighting, etc

Only if those were the actual cost incurred, but not the wedding dress nor shoes, because she could use those in the future. Though usually a woman is allowed to keep the ring, in the case of a lawsuit I would also think she'd have to return the ring or pay for half of its cost.

[Liberal_in_LA]

41. me too n/t

[taught_me_patience]

22. I can see why he bailed on her

Probably saved himself a lot of money in the long run.

This also seems like a good case for arbitration. I can see him paying 50%-100% of the actual costs incurred.

[KittyWampus]

23. Maybe both bride and grooms should be required to post bonds? I think it seems unfair for her to

bear the burden of all that.

[tammywammy]

24. But there's also this

If she was paying for the wedding, and she wanted the lavishness, while the groom did not/could not spend that much, would he still be on the hook?

If he wasn't consulted about the cost or had a choice in the matter, why should he have to pay even half?

edited to add: I love the show Bridezillas, and I've seen how some brides will steamroll over anyone in order to get what they "want" price be damned and also leave the groom out of every decision. Not saying this is the case here, though it could be.

[KittyWampus]

26. Our culture has diminished the roles of rituals so much that weddings are one of the few that remain

In some ways, I can see why women may go overboard. Not just 'queen for the day'. There's a lot to a wedding besides just the physical manifestation.

That's my anthropologist side talking. :)

[tammywammy]

28. I agree with what you say

I love that show Bridezillas only because I'm so amazed how much stock these particular women put into the material aspect of the day vs what's actually going on. There's that plus, I'm not big into weddings myself, I always figure if I can trick someone into wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, we're heading straight to the court house. ;)

[Javaman]

68. Like I wrote down thread. the wedding industry is a racket.

if it was an actual ritual, people wouldn't have to go into debt to display their love.

there are very unscrupulous wedding planners out there, as much as they love to slam the "bridezillas", they love them because they are cash cows. Because it's the bridezillas that go way over the top and spend money like water without actually thinking about where the money is going. And any wedding planner worth their salt will be getting kickbacks from their various providers.

It's a massive scam.

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

27. Getting away from a woman like this for $50k-$100k?? That's a bargain.

Just imagine if he said "yes"... this broad could have taken alot more from him someday.

[KillCapitalism]

31. Agreed

He should learn from this mistake and never repeat it.

Anymore it just makes more sense to cohabitate. When you do that you deal with far less legal BS, no exorbitant wedding or honeymoon costs.

[GliderGuider]

33. Regarding cohabitation

You may avoid the costs and stress of the wedding, but it it breaks up after 3 years the man can still be taken to the cleaners. Ask me how I know...

[KillCapitalism]

38. Oh, that sucks, never knew that.

Sorry to hear you got caught up in something like that.

I guess being single is the best way to go sometimes.

[hobbit709]

47. Depends on the state you live in.

[GliderGuider]

51. Agreed. However, most western countries (and US states) recognize common-law marriage

The time required to gain such standing and the specifics of property division and support payments upon dissolution vary quite a bit.

[hobbit709]

57. Takes more than just cohabitation in TX

There are certain other requirements.

[begin_within]

29. Now that's love. Sue your ex-fiance.

How romantic.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

78. Why not? If you feel a contract has been breached and monetary damages are present.

What's the alternative? Stamp your feet and pout? Have someone beat him up?

If one feels they have been wronged, and there are monetary damages, then they SHOULD go to court. It's the civilized way to do it.

[begin_within]

82. Where's the contract though?

[Hassin Bin Sober]

88. It's a verbal contract and verbal contracts are enforceable.

They are more difficult to prove in court but verbal contracts are still enforceable. I suppose he could try to weasel out of the contract by claiming he never agreed to get married but one would assume there is a huge paper trail, witnesses, and not to mention an engagement ring he purchased for her.


I should back up a little and note that a "breach of promise to marry" is the applicable tort in this case. A "promise to marry" is not a typical contract that you may enter in the course of doing business with another party. A "promise to marry" is different in that money or "consideration" will not change hands between the parties entering the contract.

Normally, a contract must consist of offer, acceptance, and consideration. Consideration being the tangible benefit each party receives for performing on the contract i.e. money, goods, or services.

In common law (and Illinois law), a "promise" can be enforceable or actionable absent the consideration if the "promised" party relies on the promise "to their detriment."

(by the way, I'm not an attorney so if any attorneys want to correct me that's fine. I've taken a few business law classes and deal with contracts in my business. I also slept at a Holiday Inn last night)

Examples of promises a person may act upon to their detriment can be things like job offers, charitable contributions and promises to marry.

An example we covered in business law class was a person reneging on a substantial charitable contribution.

Even though a promise to "give" money is not a "contract" because it's lacking a key aspect of a normal contract - "consideration" - it still can be enforceable. Me promising to give you $10 million dollars gives me no tangible benefit so it's not a contract per se. If you reasonably act on that promise to your detriment I may be liable for damages. (by the way, the promise would have to be believable by a reasonable person so my promise of $10 million dollars would leave you shit out of luck).

Say billionaire Bill Gates makes a promise to provide charity XYZ $10 million dollars for the new pavilion building. Charity XYZ then makes plans to break ground and spends its OWN funds for architects, engineers and maybe the acquisition of land. Then Bill Gates changes his mind and backs out of the deal. Bill Gates COULD be subject to damages that the charity suffered by acting on Gates' promise "to their detriment"

Another example is a job offer reneged on after the prospective hire quits her job, sells her house and moves across country only to have the offer rescinded. Even though the plaintiff may not be able to establish what consideration was involved, they may be able to collect based on a promise acted upon to their detriment.

Marriage offers, like the one in the OP, are classic examples of "breach of promise to marry". Set aside for a minute the obscene amount of cash involved in the OP's case. Let's say the bride to be was kindergarten teacher who quit her job, canceled her lease and moved across country only to be rejected. Would DUers feel sorry for her then?

[treestar]

30. This gal should watch more soap operas

find another groom, or another couple to take their place!

[GliderGuider]

32. What are the laws like in their state?

A lot depends on what the state laws are regarding the "breach of promise" of marriage.

Legalities aside, I'd say that if she spent $100K on wedding preps knowing he couldn't pay for half, she's out of luck. And if they had an agreement to split the costs at some point, he owes half.

I knew of a case where the wedding fell through when the bride to be discovered that her "fiance" (hereinafter known as "asshat") was not only still married, but was still living with his wife. In that case the $10K she had spent for preparations was promptly refunded by said asshat following a strong representation from her legal counsel...

All else aside, any man who would agree to marry a woman who insists on a $100K wedding deserves whatever he gets, and any woman whose sense of self-worth revolves around a $100K wedding deserves whatever she gets.

[xchrom]

37. makes a case for wedding insurance. nt

[TwilightGardener]

40. $100,000? For ONE DAY!!! In an era where half of marriages end in divorce anyway.

Do people just have money to piss away, or what? Sorry, sister, you are SOL. Next time don't put all your money down on a losing horse.

[flvegan]

42. $5000 wedding gown.

To each his/her own, but I wouldn't be involved with this sort of woman. I'll never understand that (unless one is fabulously wealthy).

[kimi]

43. 100K for a wedding? Sheesh

I think, from what I read in the article, that yeah, she probably deserves some compensation, depending on the law in her state. (Which she'd know about, cause she's an attorney.) However, I also think that it'll be awhile before she has a date with another guy again, much less a wedding date.

[Hepburn]

48. Stupid to spend that kind of money on a wedding...

...but I am sure the businesses who got the money are happy about it.

Speaking legally: Most states have anti-heart balm laws ~~ no breach of promise to marry actions, etc. California's was passed some time in the 1930s...if I recall correctly. So emotional distress, etc., damages are not available most likely.

However, IMO, he owes for half of the expenses of the wedding, reception, etc., that are not refunded. Fair is fair. They had a contract to get married. He broke the contract. She depended on the contract to make certain financial obligations. So...IMO...he owes.

JMHO

[MrScorpio]

50. $100,000 in costs for a wedding?!?

Are these people insane?

[Bucky]

73. That's why they say "cheaper to keep 'er"

[slackmaster]

52. I believe that people have a natural inherent right to change their minds about things like marriage

An engagement is not a binding legal contract until the state-issued license is recorded.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

76. Not necessarily true.

An engagement can be and IS a legal contract in some states. It's verbal but it is still enforceable. Even as a "promise" where no exchange of money or "consideration" takes place it is still enforceable. Especially if the other party relies on it "to their detriment" - which seems to be the case here.

[Motown_Johnny]

53. She also spent $70.40 to send cancellation notices

Somehow, that seems like a bargain.

[Selatius]

54. I would never marry a person who will drop 100,000 on her own wedding. That's vanity to the extreme.

[BlueIris]

59. Vanity and cluelessness. Hasn't she seen the statistics? From the last three decades??

There's such a childish quality to this couple's choices. His decision to be with her, her decision to spend outrageous amounts of money on an arrangement that has a 50% chance of crashing and burning, probably within the first two years. Idiots.

[Demstud]

86. Fairy tale wedding

Some people like the idea of a fairy tale wedding more than the idea of marriage itself. It's like the wedding is the end goal.

[Javaman]

62. After having been a videographer for weddings

(I had my own biz for a while before I gave it up due to my having to constantly suppress my urge to throw up).

There are some people (guys included) that are just so obsessed with getting married and are not even remotely in love.

They want that "big day" and the spouse-to-be is the after thought.

I have seen those types. I have shot their weddings and I have noticed time and time again, just how not in love these people are.

I have seen brides obsess about teeny tiny complete total bullshit things. I have seen grooms freak out over the most bizarre shit.

I have seen grooms get so wasted before the wedding that they couldn't stand straight at the alter.

I have seen brides break down and cry when they realized (too late) that they married a total fuck up.

I have seen grooms tongue kiss the bridesmaids.

I have interviewed wedding party people who said some things about the bride and/or groom that would have been grounds for divorce in many states.

I have seen (a classic depressing moment) a bride tell a groom to "fuck off. If you love my sister so much, you should have married her!" at their reception.

I could go on.

Stupid people get married every day. Stupid people put way too much emphasis on the wedding day. Stupid people sue other people for their fuck ups.

Did this bride ever stop to think that this poor bastard groom realized, before it was too late, that she was a train wreck? Or did the bride ever stop to think, "this guy is a train wreck". No one ever asks themselves those questions when they are that far down the wedding money pit.

On top of that, $100k wedding is nothing to sneeze at, but you better make damn sure you are marrying for love and that the other person loves you in return, because that is a mighty big chunk of change to spend on one fucking day. Better off going to school for your MBA.

Like war is a racket, so is the wedding industry.

There are many "dick chaney" wedding planners out there selling brides and grooms and their families on the bullshit fantasy wedding crap that will be soooooooooo original.

Let me tell you something, I have worked on and shot over 500 weddings (ugh, just writing that made me throw up a little), there are no original weddings. They are all the same here in the states. If you want original, get married by a New Guinean Head Hunter. And have an animal sacrifice at the altar to consummate it. Frankly, even that isn't all that original when you get down to it.

Lastly, this didn't come out of the blue. The seeds of him calling it off were there for a long time.

[WI_DEM]

64. Well, I think he should probably help with the expenses.

[ManiacJoe]

70. How much will she get when she sells the ring?

That should help with some of the expenses.
:shrug:

[Hassin Bin Sober]

80. Ironically, the ring may be hers to keep. Though the judge might consider it when awarding damages.

The ring was a "gift" to her with certain strings attached. He is the one who breached the contract so the ring is hers to keep.

It's been a long time but we covered this subject in Illinois contract law class.

[Kat45]

71. If his feelings had changed earlier he should have said something then

It would have saved some of the financial cost as well as her emotional distress. The article said they'd dated for 3 years then been engaged for that long--this wasn't a quick romance jumping to marriage. I can understand her believing it to be a solid situation. Yes, that's an outrageous sum of money to spend on a wedding but that doesn't seem all that uncommon these days.

[Bucky]

72. Would this be considered "ciao-limony"? I'm-no-longer-your-gal-imony?

Who's-sorry-now-limony? Throw-in-the-towel-imony?

[Forkboy]

81. Well, that'll show him how wrong he was....

[begin_within]

83. If she had married him, she would still be out that money, so why isn't she suing him for

not marrying him? That's what she lost, him not the money. She would have spent the money either way, whether he had married her or not. So the loss of the money was a 100% probability. What she lost was him, so why isn't she suing him to marry her?

[NaturalHigh]

84. Hell hath no fury...

[Demstud]

85. Depends

If the bride did something like cheated on him, was abusive, coerced him into getting married, etc. then it shouldn't be his responsibility. If it was just a case of getting cold feet and chickening out, then yes he should definitely pay.

[WingDinger]

90. In biblical times, rape a girl and no wrist slapping, refuse to marry her afterwards

get stoned. And I dont mean like Miley.