Assange To Auction Nail Clippings for Bail

[MineralMan]

www.toungeincheeknewstoday.uk

Julian Assange Auctions Personal Assets For Bail Money

Capitalizing on his newfound popularity on the Internet, Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange is putting his long-time collection of nail clippings up for auction. "With most of my assets blocked," he said, "I have to raise money somehow. I've been saving my nail clippings in a jar for many years, for personal reasons. Auctioning them off should raise the money I need to cover my bail in the UK, I hope."



Professional appraisers estimate the return from this unusual auction to approach US$5 million. The auction, which will be conducted at an undisclosed location by an unnamed international auction house in two weeks time, will be conducted under the highest security standards. Auction director and actor, David McCallum, said, "We have no idea who might turn up for this auction, so all precautions will be taken. By the way, rumors spreading on the internet that I am Julian Assange's father are incorrect."

[Statistical]

Anyone else think this is utterly weird and creepy.

"I've been saving my nail clippings in a jar for many years, for personal reasons. "

[MineralMan]

2. My thoughts, exactly. Howard Hughes was said to have done

this, as well. Odd, isn't it? :scared:

[SoCalDem]

He must not have ever had a dog

:)

[MineralMan]

5. Indeed.

[slackmaster]

4. Howard Hughes did that too

Nobody would dispute that he was weird.

[Luminous Animal]

12. Did what, too? Post a hoax OP and have people swallow it whole?

[MineralMan]

19. Uh, it's not a hoax.

It's a piece of satire. There's a difference. The satyrical signals were strong in it, too. Obviously bogus URL. David McCallum?

That some didn't recognize it as satire means it worked, you see...

[Luminous Animal]

23. Like I said, don't quit your day job.

[MineralMan]

27. °¿°

Yah, OK, then.

[Gravel Democrat]

6. toungeincheeknewstoday.uk not found

Error for "toungeincheeknewstoday.uk".

This domain cannot be registered because it contravenes the Nominet UK
naming rules.

http://www.whois.net/whois/toungeincheeknewstoday.uk

amazing thread. Oh I get it you were kidding.

[MineralMan]

7. That's good work, there.

Thanks for clearing things up.

[Luminous Animal]

8. Did you click on the link? The OP is a hoax.

[MineralMan]

9. Say it ain't so, Joe...

Say it ain't so.

[msanthrope]

11. I can hear the "whooshes" from here.....n/t

[MineralMan]

14. Indeed.

[Luminous Animal]

15. Apparently, it whooshed by you a couple of times.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=13469&mesg_id=13591

msanthrope: "I really had to do a double-take and read this a few times...."

[Luminous Animal]

17. Don't quit your day job.

[MineralMan]

21. Actually, my day job is writing things.

That's what I do. DU is just practice, you see. Keeps me on top of my game when I'm between contracts, doncha know.

Thank you for participating in the thread. Really.

[msanthrope]

1. After reading his vomit-inducing personal ad unearthed by Gawker

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2010/12/julian_assanges.php

I really had to do a double-take and read this a few times....

[SidDithers]

16. Wow...

I'm gonna start calling him "Harry Harrison" :rofl:

Sid

[slackmaster]

3. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

:puke:

[Luminous Animal]

10. The OP proves that some DUers will believe any outlandish crap.

[City Lights]

29. Ditto for what DUers will post as an OP.

Edited to add an UNREC.

[MineralMan]

31. I like your signature line very much.

It's so true.

[City Lights]

38. You've borrowed a page from George's playbook.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. ~ George Walker Bush

[MineralMan]

42. I'm hearing laughter. I like laughter.

My old signature line used to read:

"Life's too important to be taken seriously."

I had to switch to my current one to keep from being misunderstood, you'll understand.

[QC]

36. Especially outlandish crap that confirms their own prejudices. n/t

[paparush]

13. "I love crushing bastards...and saving my nail clippings.."

OOOOOK

[treestar]

18. LOL.

The thread a few days back about his dating profile was weird. Pathetic.

And this is someone who would endanger us as a nation.

[Cali_Democrat]

20. Edit

Story is satire. I really wish the OP had specified.

[MineralMan]

22. That is creepy, huh...

Uff da! It's difficult to imagine, I think.

[Gravel Democrat]

33. Consider this a "teachable moment"

lots of people probably believed the abc/nightline shit last night too.

Excellent, excellent smearing. Why, many won't even know why they think the way they do about a man they've only read about.

But hey whaddya want from the media anyway, truth? lol

[MineralMan]

65. Actually, I made its satirical nature pretty clear, you know.

The non-existent website was the first clue. It was also the very first line. Then, there was the David McCallum reference. That was a tiny bit more subtle, so I added the reference to David McCallum NOT being Assange's father, just to make sure.

When I write satire, I always include very strong clues to the fact that it's not really a real news story. Some people always seem to miss those, though...

And never mind that the story is so far-fetched that it couldn't possibly true. I thought this one was even a little too broad. I guess not, eh?

[NorthCarolina]

24. Are those just fingernails, or did he toss his toenail clippings in there too?

:silly:

I wonder if he also has a booger collection.

[MineralMan]

26. I believe they're just fingernails.

The toenail collection would go for much more, I'm sure.

[treestar]

41. Don't forget the hair clippings!

[MineralMan]

44. I understand those are burned weekly, to prevent people

from stealing the DNA and creating clones for evil purposes. That's just what I understand, though. I could be incorrect about that.

[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MineralMan]

28. Hmm...interesting. Satire's not your favorite reading, I guess.

Different strokes...

[DisgustipatedinCA]

34. that's your takeaway?

Goddamn...how do you manage to tie your sh...nevermind, velcro.

I think the point was that your fellow Assange haters jumped all over this as if it were true, and of course, you disrespected them enough to play along. Not to worry, I don't respect them either. They seem exceptionally gullible, whether buying into your crap or the government's, and that's not something for which I can command any respect. All straightened out now?

[treestar]

37. What's wrong with being an Assange "hater?"

can't you come up with a better hero?

[DisgustipatedinCA]

43. No, and you can't either

what kind of a fuckwit question is that anyway? Rejected for inconsequence. Next.

[treestar]

51. What's wrong with "hating" him?

He tried to endanger our country. Along with Manning.

All for what? So he could get attention?

There are classified documents for a reason. It is not the First Amendment. It is not transparency. It is merely harming our diplomats.

Making a hero out of this idiot is pathetic.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

58. I totally disagree with you

But I'll give you credit for giving a straight answer this time around.

[Gravel Democrat]

59. it's possible

that he really believes that he is helping to end maybe just one war

no?

http://blogs.forbes.com/andygreenberg/2010/11/29/an-interview-with-wikileaks-julian-assange/

FORBES:What do you think WikiLeaks mean for business? How do businesses need to adjust to a world where WikiLeaks exists?

JA: "WikiLeaks means it’s easier to run a good business and harder to run a bad business, and all CEOs should be encouraged by this. I think about the case in China where milk powder companies started cutting the protein in milk powder with plastics. That happened at a number of separate manufacturers.

Let’s say you want to run a good company. It’s nice to have an ethical workplace. Your employees are much less likely to screw you over if they’re not screwing other people over.

Then one company starts cutting their milk powder with melamine, and becomes more profitable. You can follow suit, or slowly go bankrupt and the one that’s cutting its milk powder will take you over. That’s the worst of all possible outcomes.

The other possibility is that the first one to cut its milk powder is exposed. Then you don’t have to cut your milk powder. There’s a threat of regulation that produces self-regulation.

It just means that it’s easier for honest CEOs to run an honest business, if the dishonest businesses are more effected negatively by leaks than honest businesses. That’s the whole idea. In the struggle between open and honest companies and dishonest and closed companies, we’re creating a tremendous reputational tax on the unethical companies..."

>>>>>>"Making a hero out of this idiot is pathetic."<<<<<


ROFL who do you call a leader

[treestar]

66. There are legal ways to help with that

Besides, the document dumps are not focused on anything in particular, and there are so many documents.

And how does compromising US diplomacy help end any war - it would seem to be the other way round.

[frylock]

69. george w bush is my new hero..

now that obama has validated most of his shit policy.

[MineralMan]

39. Nope. The only takeaway I like is fish and chips.

At least when I'm in the UK. Try the malt vinegar. It's great!

[DisgustipatedinCA]

46. accusation stands uncontested

Your seventh grade humor can't save you now.

[MineralMan]

48. OK, then...real good, then...

[AngryAmish]

45. I gotta say it sucked me in

Well done MM!

[MineralMan]

50. Thank you kindly!

[NorthCarolina]

53. Figures. Sorry I fell for this, and I am NOT an Assange hater...far from it.

I will take future posts from MineralMan with a grain of salt from now on, or just avoid them altogether.

[MineralMan]

61. DU has an ignore function. That might help.

[Raschel]

30. You should have a warning for that picture! Stomach turning.

[MineralMan]

32. I'll remember that the next time. Thanks.

[Raschel]

74. I was trying to be facetious, but man, that is gross!

[cali]

35. look, I get that you find Assange creepy

I don't entirely disagree with you, but what's the point in posting this?

[treestar]

40. It's satire.

Subtle making fun of the fanboys and fangirls.

[xiamiam]

49. transparency, exposing corruption, first amendment rights?

these are the issues..this is a distraction..not satire..not funny..a distraction from the issues that could help us..but feel free..distract distract distract..its common

[treestar]

54. No those are NOT the issues

How confused can people allow themselves to get?

Again, no one can answer this question: are we as a nation to have NO CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS????????

Do you realize the danger we'd be in if we had no chance at diplomacy and had to do it all completely in the open, when others didn't?

This is a big huge FAIL on the part of the professional left. They prove their inconsequence and their shit stirring goals.

[EFerrari]

56. The Supreme Court disagrees with you.

And the only thing Wikileaks put in danger is the cover up of massive government corruption.

[treestar]

67. Please cite the Supreme Court ruling

That the First Amendment does not allow us to have any classified documents and that the State Department must conduct diplomacy without it.

that would be crazy. Is there a single country anywhere that has that?

[EFerrari]

70. The New York Times v. The United States ruled that journalists

could publish classified material.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Times_Co._v._United_States

No one is arguing that the State Department must conduct diplomacy without classified material. That's a red herring.

[xiamiam]

60. those ARE the issues..and if you opened your mind to consider the benefit. of

transparency, you would not post nonsense like this op..

[treestar]

68. Nonsense is saying in essence we can have no diplomacy

while other countries can.

that is the height of insanity. you are letting the professional left make you look just plain dumb.

making their goals and motivations suspect.

[xiamiam]

72. i do not agre with you in any way..i support wikileaks and assange..nt

[cali]

52. yes, I know.

[MineralMan]

47. Uh, it's a political satire, cali.

Unless it bites, it's not working. Yes, I do find Assange creepy, it's true. I suspect most people do, actually. I don't like his actions very much, either, but that's another topic.

Thanks for your reply.

[jaxx]

55. When I first looked at the pic,

I thought it was his dried brains in the jar. ;-)


Good one MM!!

[MineralMan]

57. Thanks for the reply!

[Name removed]

62. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[cbdo2007]

63. Could this be any more narcissistic??

Anyone out there still going to argue that he isn't in it for the fame?

[MineralMan]

64. Really! Read the thread to learn more.

Hmm....

[City Lights]

71. No, but not for the reason you think. nt

[Gravel Democrat]

73. I'd like to take this opportunity to

thank you (& others) so much. I'm pretty sure I've pulled a muscle from laughing so hard.

In fact, I can't seem to stop. Probably will, but...