Al Qaeda possibly creating killer robots that look, act just like humans

[Hugabear]

WASHINGTON - The U.S. government has warned airlines that some terrorists are considering creating killer robots that look and act like humans to carry out attacks.

There is no intelligence indicating this is actually happening, but the U.S. intelligence agencies are requesting more funding in next year's budget, The Associated Press noted.

The intelligence on the interest in recruiting anatomically correct killer robots, a goal that has been discussed openly in the terrorist online magazine Geek Jihad, led officials to put out an advisory.

Specifically, security personnel are being told to be aware of someone who may be acting unusual possibly due to not being really human.

People traveling to the U.S. from overseas may experience additional screening at airports because of the threat.

"These measures are designed to differentiate between humans and human-acting robots," TSA spokesman Ben Dover said. "Measures may range from finger pricks to see if subject bleeds to asking questions about pop culture."

[Bluebear]

1. Dover knows his business, I wouldn't take this lightly. nt

[krispos42]

2. If the Japanese can't do it...

...I doubt a bunch of guerrillas in Pakistani caves can.

[Vanje]

5. If they can do that........

They can do FLYING MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[krispos42]

8. Yeah, right. When pigs fly, maybe.

Oh, wait...

:D

[21st Century FDR]

9. We've had flying monkey terrorists for decades

[Fumesucker]

3. Who knew that the Tea Party is an experiment in humanoid robots by Al Qaeda?

:shrug:

[Fearless]

4. Ben Dover? Really? This is clearly a spoof. Link?

[Amonester]

6. too weak....ess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD491WAY7Mk

(Total Recall: Mars Immigration Scene) :hi:

[ohheckyeah]

7. Maybe Mitt Romney is the prototype. n/t

[Ozymanithrax]

10. I saw this movie. Westworld.

[eilen]

21. Battlestar Galactica

the first Cylons?

[eShirl]

11. tee hee

k&r

[tiny elvis]

12. dr evil perfects fembot

s.p.e.c.t.r.e steals nuclear weapons
dr no builds secret remote operations base

[Beam Me Up]

13. this is totally stupid. n/t

[LiberalAndProud]

14. Before I congratulate you on a well written spoof,

is there a link for that?


If not, you should be writing for the Onion. Well done, Hugabear.

[joshcryer]

17. Searched for it and Google was smart enough to suggest it was a word-for-word spoof of the...

...terrorist bomb implant story.

[Hugabear]

24. No link required. Fatherland Security says its true. Just trust them on this.

It's for your own good.

;)

[Prometheus Bound]

15. And if Al-qaeda figures out how to make it bleed?

I guess the next step would be to chop off the hand of suspected robots.

Sure some human travelers would lose a hand, but we'd all be safer.

To be fair though, travelers should only have to go through that test once.

[JDPriestly]

16. The technology? The manufacturing capacity? Get real!

If Al Qaeda had the manufacturing capacity, it could be easily destroyed from the air. They are a gorilla-warfare type organization. They are not going to manufacture robots for their attacks. What nonsense.

[Prometheus Bound]

18. Whooosh!

[Hugabear]

23. Gorilla warfare?

Damn, they're even more advanced than I thought.

[Ichingcarpenter]

19. Also Now that the Bahama's have outlawed Shark Fishing

Al Qaeda is setting up a base there to develop fricking


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_2zENoWjRg/TDD7ON9r3DI/AAAAAAAAAWo/0lmcNQhxfEU/s1600/fricken+shark.jpg

[bluerum]

20. Give. Me. A. Break. Sarcasm smiley required..

[NightWatcher]

22. But Harrison Ford is a Replicant too! We'll never find them all. Oh noes, doomed I say

Well played

[LeftinOH]

25. "Dr. Goldfoot and the Al Qaeda girls"

[ChairmanAgnostic]

26. and what of their solar powered, mini satellites,

containing anthrax and black plague, ready to launch on a new, stealth Afghanistani supersonic green energy rocket?

[CJvR]

27. What would be the point?

Brainwashed fanatics are far more lifelike and almost as reliable.

[originalpckelly]

28. Holy shit, they can't be serious?

God, these people need some fucking help. Now they're just making shit up.

[MilesColtrane]

29. The killer robots will be easy for security agents to spot and intercept.

They'll be the ones who don't bitch about having to take their shoes off.