Are there a lot of gay/lesbian couples that don't want to get married?

[NNN0LHI]

Because I know a lot of long time hetro couples that would never get married. Some of them have been living common law as husband and wife for over 40 years and never made it official. And they say they never will.

Have had some hetro couples explain it to me that they are afraid of getting married and screwing up a good thing. They are in love and don't feel a piece of paper would improve anything.

Just wondering if this phenomena cuts across the entire spectrum? I am betting it does. Anyone know any long time gay/lesbian couples who feel this way?

Don

[MineralMan]

1. My wife's cousin and his partner don't have any marriage

plans. They've been together for at least 25 years. I asked them about it when Iowa made it possible, since Iowa's just a two hour drive. Her cousin said, "We just don't see the need for it. It wouldn't change how we feel about each other."

So, there's one. Her other cousin, who is a woman who has a couple of kids with her male partner, has the same attitude. I think such decisions are common in many relationships, regardless of the couples' genders.

[markpkessinger]

12. Understandable, but...

...Depending on what state they live in, and depending on how old they are, they might want to give some very serious thought to the sorts of issues that crop up concerning things like end-of-life medical decisions, the financial security of a surviving partner in the event one of them dies, etc.

[MineralMan]

13. They are very smart, very successful people. I'm sure they

have anticipated all of that and have done their due diligence.

[BigDemVoter]

2. I have NO desire to get married.

But that is MY choice and NOT one that was made for me. This means that were I involved with somebody (which I'm not as I'm SINGLE), I would decide for myself or my partner whether we wanted to get hitched or not. . . :) I don't want some born-again christian assholes deciding what I can or can't do with my partner.

[brooklynite]

3. They may have greater need for the document...

If your spouse goes to the Hospital, and you fill out the forms saying you're the hunsband/wife and are opposite sex, it's unlikely anyone's going to ask to see your marriage certificat. If you're same-sex, I'm not so sure.

[Booster]

4. I read somewhere where there are about 1750 tax benefits for

married couples so that alone should be an incentive. I have no idea what they all are and I doubt most married people know what they all are either.

[kenny blankenship]

5. Let's legalize same sex marriage, and then find out shall we?

[polmaven]

10. That sounds like a plan!

I have a couple of friends who are not married, by their (or one of their) own choice. The one does not want to marry for several reasons, and the other is going along with that for now...even though it is, of course, legal in MA, for a while now, there are no federal benefits for them married or not. So let's make it equal on a federal level and find out! ...Nailhead - meet hammer!

[closeupready]

6. Just last week, a friend of mine said he and his partner had talked about getting married.

Obviously, they aren't married now because until now, it wasn't the law in New York State. They could have gotten married elsewhere, but you know, things have been happening so rapidly that, they are just now catching up on how this could improve their lives individually and collectively. (It may seem hard to believe on a board like this, but not every gay person is political or in tune with current political events that can shape their lives.)

[Bluenorthwest]

7. One always must assume a diversity among groups.

But listen, no one in the US has any idea because NY, whatever, there is NO marriage equality at all. Most of the important aspects exist on the Federal level, so the States bit is just a sort of political theater. It changes none of the legal aspects that really matter. Well, a few, but basically the question you are asking is so entirely moot at this point, that it makes the asking of it rather unusual.

[Bluenorthwest]

8. Also, depending on the state or nation, your 'common law'

straights might have a legal marriage, and in addition, that status would be recognized in a State without 'common law' marriages, such as CA. Note that the 'portability' of the status is a key factor, so your shacked up heterosexual couples still have rights that others are not allowed. All their talk of 'a piece of paper' is just that if they live in a state that says 'no piece of paper is needed to make a marriage'. Ya know?
So when you say 'common law husband and wife' you do understand they have rights that a gay couple in the same length of relationship would not have, right? Just checking.

[xchrom]

9. I'm allergic to normative conformity. Nt

[damntexdem]

11. Are there a lot of straight couples that don't want to get married?

Why assume that the dynamics of being a couple differ?