Did anyone have racist parents who insisted you agree with them?

[NNN0LHI]

I did. My father is dead now but we had some harsh words over the years on this subject. It was a constant battle. My mother still does it to me. Its a constant battle with her too. She relates her latest "Welfare Queen", driving a Cadillac in a Mink coat story she reads in her local newspaper and I have learned that if I don't just agree with her the battle will be on and we may not speak for weeks over it if I don't just agree with her. I think she wrote me out of her Will last year over this issue.

So now that I realize she is in her mid-80's and probably won't be around much longer I just agree with whatever she says to keep the peace. Drives me nuts to humor an adult but I don't really see many other options.

Anyone else in this kind of situation?

Don

[LiberalLoner]

1. Yup, me. Stay away from my father for that reason. Sickens me. n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. Realize that as people age brain functions do diminish

so you are doing a good thing. As people age they become more radical in a way. So you are doing the right thing.

[NNN0LHI]

3. Thank you I really needed that

I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right or wrong.

Peace ...

Don

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. We've seen that with my dad

and less with my mom over the last two years. My mom is (was) very tolerant. She is 81... So I kindly point out things and leave it at that.

Of course it don't help my brother sends her scaree shit from the Right Wing (in Mexico)

[RamboLiberal]

4. Oh yeah - had many heated with my late father

He was a racist to some extent. He was always fearful blacks would move in to the neighborhood. My late mother was less racist and at least would listen.

Funny thing though my dad at least hated Reagan & Poppy Bush.

[la la]

6. yes- my mother---

dead many years---but she and my azzhole stepfather were rabid racists/haters 0ne incident was when Indiana's Birch Bayh's wife got breast cancer ( many many years ago)--mother and husband were ecstatic - i moved 3,000 miles away and refused to have any conversation with them about their beliefs---i was called ' college girl- thinks she knows everything' for years --by a mother who helped put me through college---figure that one out! lordy!

[MindPilot]

7. It was just the norm growing up.

The "N"-word and every other racial epithet were an ordinary part of day-to-day conversation. I remember black & white drinking fountains and the waiting room at the bus station signed "Coloreds Only". Racism is so deeply steeped in my past, that I have a tough enough time checking myself that I can't worry about other people.

[Still Blue in PDX]

11. I don't think they were viewed as epithets, just plain old nouns back then. nt

[Cirque du So-What]

8. My father was rabidly racist

and although it's hardly an excuse, he was born in 1908 & grew up in a time when racism was part of the scenery in practically all corners of the country. Ironically, he was a staunch labor supporter, but he was a bigot through & through.

[Tikki]

9. I believe deep down my mother was an old school racist, but boy oh boy..

you better not use a racist word or make a racist statement..she'd cut you short
or even discipline over any prejudice.

Kind of hypocritical, I know...but she meant it and most often kept her prejudice
quiet and away from us kids. That us better then her thing.


Tikki

[Still Blue in PDX]

10. I'm happy to say that as the 1960s drew to a close my parents became less racist.

They grew up when it was just the way it was (born in 1919 and 1922). When they actually started interacting with individuals of different races their views changed, whereas there was no amount of talking to them that could have done that.

Interestingly, my mom was raised in North Carolina and my dad in Oregon, and he was by far the more racist of the two, but I guess Oregon was a hotbed of Ku Klux Klan activity in the 1930s, and so I wonder if anyone in his family was involved in that. I'll never know.

[bluestate10]

12. When you mother starts the racists imagery.

Give her a hug, look he right in the eyes and say that she is wrong. Then walk away. Your mother is your mother and you can't change that. She does not have much time to live, create a situation where your best memories of her are positive ones. I would not get too bent over being written out of the will, that gives you one less thing to fight with kin over when you mother passes away.

[PDJane]

13. My late, unlamented father.

With whom there was neither love nor tolerance. It is a different situation; he died in his early 70's, and I swear that vitriol was a part of it.


You are doing the right thing; this is the end of life thing, and it's better not to cause a rift that you will regret.

[lonestarnot]

14. Twice a child, we humans. Give her a piece of fruit and you have a highball.

:toast:

[gateley]

15. I agree that you're doing the right thing. Although my parents

weren't racist, if they had been and I'd argued with them until they died, I'd look back with regret at all the love lost because if my wanting to change their beliefs.

Make peace now or you may be filled with remorse and guilt later. :hug:

[whattheidonot]

16. right wing thing

That is usually a right wing thing

[ehrnst]

17. And grandparents. Didn't work. I just shrug and say, "Times change." (nt)