Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

I held it back, almost secreted away

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:23 PM
Original message
I held it back, almost secreted away
When my son was a little boy he had a little stuffed animal, Gizmo from the gremlins. He loved that movie as a tot, and he slept with gizmo and took him everywhere. It was his security blanket.

As the years wore he lost and eye and became well worn.

Many years later after his mom and I split, she remarried and had a daughter. It was to be her doom - six years after her daughter born, on July 4th, 2005, she passed away, 42 years old.

When my son left for the military he gave his beloved Gizmo, what was left of him, to his step-sister. Something to remember him by and to hold on to on dark nights.

At some point when I was living in CA I found a new one and bought it. After the move it was lost, my life went all to hell, etc. But while he was in Iraq it was found while looking through things, and sits in the basement. Waiting for September.

I emailed my son a few months ago while telling him it was here, but I kept it out of sight - because every time I looked at it I remembered him holding it in his bed. He was so excited. Big old soldier he was a world away he still wants to hold his Gizmo again, even though it is a newer one and not his original one.

Tonight I took it out and hugged it for him. He is home. And on September 3 or 4 he will be back here in Ohio and I will get to hand it personally to him.

When he was 8 we were going home, a 50 mile drive, and he had forgot Gizmo at grandma's. We turned around and went and got it.

I don't know what he dreams he had while holding it, but I know it was a little something that got him through a lot.

When I talked to him he told me he lost several friends there, saw some IED's go off while on convoys. Maybe ole Gizmo will help out while he transitions back to civilian life.

Me and him, sitting around a fire together, a few beers, tales of his trip, and Gizmo. This little Gizmo is got a lot of catching up to do.

Years ago up in the Tehachapi Mountains I wrote this poem, it was, in a way, based upon ole Gizmo:

The Little Teddy Bear

1916
Winds of war blow across the land
Shells fall, whistling their death tune
Gunshots near the village
Tanks and men

A little boy huddles under his bed
Hiding
Clutching all he has left
A teddy bear

Ragged, but sewn well
Buttons for eyes
Small bow upon it’s neck
Soft

His parents gone
The Germans
A wounded GI had found him
And given to him the little Bear

Days come and go
Chilly nights
Warmed only by the touch
Of his cuddly bear

War is over
An orphanage
He clings to his only possession
Now wet with many tears


1944
War again
He marches into battle
Gun at side
Bear, in his backpack

Across fields he runs
Avoiding land mines
Gun fire
Shells


At night
When he sits alone
Out comes his little bear
And away goes the fear

Winter sets in
He is still alive
They come to a small village
In France

Christmas night
War rages on for the town
They break through
And liberate it

House to house
Searching for the enemy
Until he hears her
A little child, crying

He kneels
And looks under the bed
She recoils in fear
Whimpering

Gun set aside
He opens his pack
One last time his hands touch
His little bear

He smiles at it
Then at her
She sees the bear
His smile

His hand slides under the bed
She takes it
Emerging from her hiding place
Clothes tattered and torn

She looks up at him
Tears streaking her little face
Looks at his little bear
And opens her arms


It passes then
From man to child
For once in so many years
He lets it go

She hugs it
Holds it tight
And weeps
Upon her little bear

She carried that bear
For all her years
As she lay upon her deathbed
He was there

No fear
As she passed on that Fall
Her arms tightly holding
Her little bear

It baffled them
As they read her will
Everything went to her family
Except that teddy bear

On Christmas eve
A little boy
In his hospital bed
Waited for Santa

He awoke
Still dark outside
Somewhere over the speakers
Silent night played softly

A package was there
Next to his bed
Tied in a ribbon
Bright, cheery and red

He tore it open
Joy on his face
And laying within
A little teddy bear


He hugged it
And kissed it
Named it Ted
Then brushed off all the leaves it had

He thought it odd
Leaves covered it
And it seemed cold and a little wet
He snuggled it hard, and with it he slept

The attorney sat that night
Remembering the will
He found it strange
What she had said

Take this bear, and give it a box
Put it upon my grave
On my estate plot
And let it be

For it not stay
When it is needed
May it find it’s way
To a child’s arms

Slightly snoring, the little boy slept
A leaf caught in his hair
The bear woke up, and looked about
Blew the leaf off
And hugged his little boy

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
nashville_brook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
1. .
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. ...
:hug:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
3. Gizmo. I think it's true that sometimes when parents look at their grown kids
Edited on Fri Jul-22-11 07:36 PM by KittyWampus
They see the little ones they nurtured through childhood.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
dixiegrrrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Not sometimes, my dear.
Almost always.
Trust me on that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
monmouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. My eldest son will be 50 in August, I still cannot wrap my head around
it. Still think of teaching him to ride the two-wheeler..LOL..
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-23-11 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #3
14. I am not a parent,but have many nephews and nieces.
I see them as they were almost superimposed over the grown up in front of me. I still call Lyndon "little Lyndon" who is now over six feet tall.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
locahungaria Donating Member (194 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
4. Thank you for a beautiful and touching story.
It brought tears to my eyes and nice memories of my own children when they were little and clung to their favorite stuffed toy.

You will most certainly have that wonderful reunion with your son very soon.

:hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SaveAmerica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. I have tears and hope for you and your son, it sounds like you're prepared for what he brings home.
I'm still working through what is the appropriate level of asking questions and hoping that I've got the listening down right. I'm so happy that he has you in his life.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mrs_p Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 07:48 PM
Response to Original message
7. sniff
:grouphug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Booster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
9. Your writings always make me cry; but they make me think also.
And remember something from my past that makes me smile. You really should try writing for a living or at least just for the sheer joy of having something published. Wish we could all be there for your reunion with you son. In a way we will be.:hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 08:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. DU was here for me when my son came home before shipping out
And I will sure be here to share the day I hold him again.

DU has been my outlet, my home, through some of the toughest times in my life - and my friends here have helped me through it.

I would love to write for a living (hope to do so with the kindle and some novels I am working on). No matter what I try to write though it never seems to be as real as what I am experiencing. I have several novels swirling through my head I am wanting to write, but they keep getting interrupted by life.

Looking back over my teddy bear poem I never really got how prophetic it was until tonight.

I am working on some videos for those me and friends lost from our high school days:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlO8QnXI9gM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPFzT63s7OI&feature=related

(and it does not even cover half of them). Would that I could write about them all and share their lives and mine.

We all have stories to tell - would that we could all share them. But perhaps we do here, and elsewhere on the web.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Booster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-23-11 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. What a nice way to honor your friends that are gone.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
10. Excellent!
A marvelous story!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-22-11 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
11. So glad to hear he's home TSS
Bet you can't wait!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-23-11 10:35 AM
Response to Original message
15. What a nice story.
Glad you guys will have time together.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Peacetrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-23-11 10:43 AM
Response to Original message
16. I am crying with joy for you..
Straight I read this, and could not hold back the tears.

My 23 year old son is sound asleep on the conch upstairs.. I ran and kissed him, and he snores like a buzz saw.. Just like his Dad. He is home for a week and flies back out to the east next week.

He never had to go to a far away place with his life in danger. I can't begin to imagine the fear you have had to live with.

My only child is everything to me.

I wish there was a way I reach out and give you a hug. Reading how your child is everything to you.. I don't have the words to tell you how much that touched me.

I am so happy for both of you.

And welcome home Straight Jr. You are a lucky guy to have someone love you so deeply.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-23-11 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
17. Thanks for sharing this
But just one thing. Isn't his mother's daughter his half sister?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr 25th 2024, 10:54 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC