Really old kids bug me.

[H2O Man]

I've been in movie theaters, and there were adults talking loudly. That bugged me.

Once, there was a guy consuming popcorn, but not closing his fucking mouth as he chewed. Pissed me off.

Another time, I was in a store. An old lady ahead of me in line was wearing a dress that I didn't much care for. I yelled at her, silently in my own mind.

On the highway, a guy sped by me in a no passing zone. I tell you what, had he wrecked up, I might very well have laughed. Not a happy laugh, mind you. But a devious laugh, dripping with rabid hostility.

I mean, I love people. Really. But I often feel uncomfortable around people who are different than me. Especially noisy ones, or those who are dressed in colors I find offensive. And I pay taxes. Is it too much to ask for people to allow me the pursuit of happiness? Society seems rather anti-social, sometimes.

[virgogal]

1. Just stay home.

[H2O Man]

2. No.

I pay taxes.

[gratuitous]

3. Nanna nanna boo boo, stick your head in doo-doo

There! I've run rings around you logically.

[H2O Man]

5. Well then, let's take

it to the next illogical step. I was outside looking at the sky. A jet flew over.

[KatyMan]

4. You're in the right place...

nobody here can stand republicans either!

[H2O Man]

6. If there were

more restrictions regarding republicans in public places unleashed, DU would be in harmony.

[mmonk]

7. Recommended.

I love exposure of intolerance. Only when people see it can they be aware of it in themselves.

[H2O Man]

10. I pride myself

in being tolerant of people who behave exactly as I expect them to. The old "you have to get along to get along" thing. What really pisses me off, though, is people who have an intolerant lack of respect for my expectations of them. They just don't get it.

[mmonk]

13. Indeed.

;-)

[MrDiaz]

35. WHY

Should somebody live their life according to your expectations?

[H2O Man]

38. because

[mmonk]

53. I learned having raised two kids with disabilities that everyone

is an expert concerning children and the proper way to raise them and control them. It is too bad they never got the chance to use their expert skills and knowledge on learning disabled children of their own.

[timtom]

61. It's hard to believe

that several are taking your OP seriously, as if not seeing the obvious satirical intent.

Personally, I think your post is engaging and it shines a light from an interesting angle on a big problem that exists everywhere -- now, and for all time; here and everywhere.

[H2O Man]

62. True.

It may be that the OP sounds very similar to several other OPs that our confused friends have read here on DU.

[Edweird]

47. Have you considered writing for "The Onion"? You have a gift for satire.

[H2O Man]

58. Several times,

over the years here on DU, people have suggested that I should. And it's always after I post some nonsense that I assume everyone else here will know is full of shit, but then the thread shows not to be the case.

I suppose that I'd have to interview them first. Check out their offices. I hate dust. I refuse to work for anyone who does not share my disgust of dust.

[Edweird]

82. I enjoy your posts even when I find myself at odds with your position.

You are a perfect example of how to 'disagree without being disagreeable'.

>What really pisses me off, though, is people who have an intolerant lack of respect for my >expectations of them.

That is satire GOLD!

[H2O Man]

83. I suspect that

the line you note speaks to you, because you -- like I -- have encountered people who literally see things that way. They might not say it in those exact words. But they believe it, and act upon their beliefs.

[uppityperson]

8. k&r

[H2O Man]

12. Thank you.

[sharp_stick]

9. Old kids in grocery stores man

I mean they take up all that room with their canes, walkers and scooters. I can't get to the green bananas because some old dude is blocking access.... C'mon old man you don't want green bananas they won't be ripe for days and you might not make it. Old women asking me to get them something from a high shelf.... Shit, I got beer to buy I don't have time to stop and pick out the right pack of "Stove Top Stuffing".

Maybe airlines would consider no old people flights... they snore. Perhaps restaurants will start banning them... they take too long to eat and get there too early.

;-) and K&R

[H2O Man]

15. You got that right.

Wrinkly old things, always smiling and chipper. What IS their problem?

[Deb]

11. Dude, you've got cooties

wipe em off!

[H2O Man]

16. Thank you.

I do like cookies.

[nashville_brook]

14. :) no doubt.

[H2O Man]

19. Absolutely no doubt.

[Forkboy]

17. "Society seems rather anti-social, sometimes"

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I can barely stand to be around most humans for any length of time at all. Individually people can be pretty cool, but as a species we're deranged. Get three or more people together and the dynamic almost always changes to something I don't really like.

Though the proper term in my case is asocial, as anti-social indicates a more hostile and even violent reaction towards society, whereas asocial just means you don't really care to be a part of society all that much. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just don't want to be around them. :)

[H2O Man]

23. I didn't want

the person chewing popcorn with an open mouth near me, that's for sure. I mean, where was his mother?

[Forkboy]

28. I don't know, that's why I watch movies at home.

[Cresent City Kid]

50. I work with a guy who chews carrot sticks like that at his desk

Popcorn chewed open mouthed is quieter, but there's more risk of getting some of it on you.

[Maine-ah]

18. another knr

[Gold Metal Flake]

20. I have never seen any old kids act up in any social situation.

My own old kids have never acted up in any social situation nor will they ever because they are perfect as am I. This post serves to elevate my status above yours on this forum and in the universe so you had better just get used to it or I will be forced to reproduce this post multiple times in this thread with only minor shifts in verbage. Two snaps and a circle.

[H2O Man]

67. Are your children

50 years of age? If not, your post does NOT apply.

[Gold Metal Flake]

71. My children are whatever criteria allows them to be better than any other poster.

And I can post allll day long!

[H2O Man]

76. I have a

rare Jimi Hendrix poster.

[Gold Metal Flake]

79. Prove it. :-D

[H2O Man]

80. In my world,

anything and everything I say are true. That's proof enough.


(I used to have lots of Hendrix posters. About 50 albums, too. Some from Europe, some bootleg. And some that were of extremely low quality. I must get one of those turntables that allows you to record on a CD.)

[Gold Metal Flake]

81. Oh, careful about those conversion turntables.

The $100 dollar or so ones use ceramic cartridges which are not good for faithful reproduction. Ceramic cartridges used to be used on cheap turntables back in the vinyl days. They distort easily.

You definitely want a set-up with a moving coil or moving magnet cartridge. You pay more but it's worth it.

I went the more time consuming route so that I could use my old turntable. I got a conversion device that plugs into my old JVC turntable and acts as preamp and USB interface. Comes with audio editing software. I'll post the particulars later as I forgot the name (I have CRS).

On edit: Here it is. ART V2 USB Phono Plus DJ Preamp. I set it up and record a side, then chop that up into tracks and identify them. Yes, it's laborious, but the sound is worth it to me. A high-quality all-in-one setup might better for folks who are not gear freaks like I am.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BBGCCI

* Transfer your LPs and Cassettes to CD with the USBPhonoPlus V2
* Turntable or other analog source can be hooked up directly to included interface for noise-free transfer quality
* Optical TOSLINK inputs and outputs as well as S/PDIF inputs
* Includes a CD-ROM which with a complete copy of the audio recording utility Audacity to maximize the quality of your recordings!
* Allow the USBPhonoPlus v2 to act as a convenient digital audio to USB interface as well

[EFerrari]

21. I don't like the ones that drive those cars that come without turn signals.

They should all be grounded immediately. :)

[sharp_stick]

22. Turn signals are expensive

and these people are on a budget man. That's also why the car is always out of alignment so badly that it constantly drifts in and out of lanes at 23 mph.

[Ishoutandscream2]

24. Beautiful! K and R

[Skidmore]

25. I kinda have a problem with the 20-35 age range who have a penchant

for sitting in restaurants fiddling with their cell phones while conversing loudly in that nasally pseudointellectual condescendingly affected way that I think they must offer as a language class in college these days.

And I love people too.

[patrick t. cakes]

26. A fucking men nt

[LanternWaste]

27. Everyone should be banned from everything...

Everyone should be banned from everything...




I'm only half joking. :P

[fivepennies]

29. My daughter used to gripe

about the pokey old kid drivers. She'd say "you'd think they'd know they're running out of time to get wherever the hell they're going and step on the gas pedal a little." Then there are all the old kid left turns out of right lanes when they're out pursuing the happiness of a car wreck. But hey, they pay taxes, too, or at least they did once upon a time. This old kid finds more happiness in staying off the anti social roads as much as possible.

And remember, a theater is a place where wars are fought so point your butterfinger at them and tell them to put down the popcorn and back up slowly. :smoke:

[seabeyond]

30. damn... and i like about everyone. i just do not belong. nt

[graywarrior]

31. I just created a complaint blog

Saves me therapy fees.

[UpInArms]

57. where's your duck?

:shrug:

[mopinko]

70. it finally succumbed to duck tape rash.

[Shandris]

32. I'm uncomfortable around ANYONE.

But that's on me, and I know it's a problem with me, not them. That doesn't excuse parents who let their children run amok any more than it excuses people who thrive on drawing attention to themselves for no reason (like the aforementioned nasally loud cellphone yellers).

Jesus, I get ill in the presence of a crowd larger than 2. If I can still do it on occasion, I know y'all can also. Be considerate, it IS one of the liberal hallmarks ya know.

[rosesaylavee]

33. Ha -

Isn't there a saying that for there to be peace in the world, we must first be at peace within ourselves.

KnR for the reminder.

[seabeyond]

34. for there to be peace in the world, we must first be at peace within ourselves.

hey... thanks for the reminder. years ago i didnt my little peace within and it ripples out. started with kids, went to hubby and beyond. maybe that is why i dont see the out of control and actually see the good and fun people when i am out and about.

:thumbsup: to you

[rosesaylavee]

48. Much better phrased.

Yes, when I remember that, it does help with the perspective. My hubby needs less reminders than me. Maybe that's why I am drawn to this board more than him? Hmmmm. :)

[MrDiaz]

36. WHY

Should somebody live their life according to your expectations.

[H2O Man]

39. because

[Demonaut]

41. that explains everything

some are not gonna get this

[OneGrassRoot]

46. ...

;)

:thumbsup:

[H2O Man]

60. See, that too

pisses me off. Why should I have to explain shit? Why can't people just understand? "Acceptance" is key here. If others just excepted that I'm right, and mold their behaviors to meet my expectations, things would be better for all. One obvious example is DU: it could go back to exactly the way it was one day in 2004, when I was happy.

[hootinholler]

37. Kudos

Take a bow, Sir!

-Hoot

[H2O Man]

63. I like bowties.

I wear one daily. Two on Sunday.

But this bow-tox business really pisses me off. Adults trying to look like teenragers.

[Desertrose]

40. Heh heh...made me smile.

:hug:

[Demonaut]

42. I like turtles

[H2O Man]

59. Me, too.

[scarletwoman]

43. If more people were like *me*, the world would be a beautiful place.

I am cheerful, polite, and smart, and a good driver. I'm sure *you* would be happy in my world. ;)

[stevedeshazer]

44. People have got to stop driving those hideous PT Cruisers.

I'm going to demand it.

[scarletwoman]

45. Most people who have PT Cruisers don't drive them very much, since they're always in for repairs.

:D

[stevedeshazer]

49. Most people who have PT Cruisers don't drive them very much, because they're OLD.

But yeah, that is true.

+1

:)

[H2O Man]

66. They are old and

in for repairs, too. Ever notice how really old and wrinkled kids are forever wimpering about their aches and pains and illnesses? What do they expect? Me to feel sorry for them? Bloody Christ, I've got more aches and pains from old injuries -- not to mention the newer ones, which I'll get to in a second or two. And sick? Mister, I've had it far worse than the next twenty people combined and squared. But I don't mention it, or expect sympathy. Just because my left foot should be in a cast (or amputated) if any one of the seventeen doctors I've gone to about it had a speck of common sense, you won't see me complaining. The pain it causes me is simply unbearable -- and that's when it's at its best. Swollen three times its normal size ... but fucking quakers, er, doctors don't believe me. I've asked them to double my daily dose of Placebo, but no, they are afraid I'll abuse it.

[hootinholler]

69. Obviously you need to get some of the new

Spurious acting placebos. I switched and they have helped me immensely.

-Hoot

[badgerpup]

51. There are times when the world is FULL of idiots...

:banghead:...and stupid clueless people and life makes no sense nohow. :nuke:

That's when I realize it's 4PM...and I haven't eaten yet today and my blood sugar is probably tanking. :blush:

Amazing what a change of attitude a visit to the nearest Quizno's* will bring (their veggie sammich RAWKS :9)



*I'm usually out and about for this scenario...

[yodermon]

55. Their broccoli cheddar is like crack for me

[Autumn]

52. I don't like those kids who drive in the left lane

from Colorado Springs to Denver. :rofl: K/R you made a wonderful point.

[Blecht]

54. Good one

Although doing satire is getting harder and harder, because reality has reached a level of absurdity never seen before. Jon Stewart's thing last night on Sean Hannity's complete lack of self-awareness a case in point.

[UpInArms]

56. ...

:applause:

[piratefish08]

64. there has been a shitload of "the world does not mold itself to perfection in order to

make me and only me happy" threads hasn't there?


unrelated - or maybe not - there has been a ton of car accidents in the area I live in, relatively speaking. 3 or 4 times as many of the "news making" types of accidents.





this country is simmering. people are pissed.


nice post by the way.....

[malaise]

65. Great post H20 Man

:fistbump:

[chrisa]

68. I hate when man-childs and woman-childs throw a tantrum because they don't get their way.

WAHHHH! WAHHHH! WAHHHH! You inconvenienced me and I can't wait 5 seconds! WAHHHH! WAHHHH!

B-)



On edit, what is a "Childs?" Que? Anyone? :wtf:

[Solly Mack]

72. Teehee

[CatWoman]

73. you fucking nut

:rofl:

[H2O Man]

77. I agree.

[RegieRocker]

74. Ban them all until there is no one left!

[maxpower]

75. Wonderful

Like it


Peace to you H2O Man.



Max

[sylvi]

78. Just subscribe to metaphysical solipsism

and wash those old kids right out of your mind.

But did I just tell you that, or were you telling yourself that through an artificially created me? It's all so confusing.