Monty Python's "I Think We Need a New Speaker"

[denem]

as adapted from the incomparable Dead Parrot, x-0posted from GDP.
The sketch:

Harry Reid: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

Eric Cantor: Sorry, we're in recess for a causus.

Harry Reid: Never mind that, my man. I wish to complain about this Plan what was due not half a day ago from this very House.

Eric Cantor: Oh yes, the, uh, the Boehner Plan...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?

Harry Reid: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Eric Cantor: No, no, It's uh,…It's resting.

Harry Reid: Look, matey, I know a dead plan when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Eric Cantor: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable plans, the Boehner plans aren't they? Beautiful plumage!

Harry Reid: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

(Eric Cantor gets out a press release)

Eric Cantor: There, it's getting a vote!

Harry Reid: No, it isn't, that was your press release!

Eric It wasn't!!

Harry Reid: Yes it was!

Eric Cantor: I never er.. , never did a thing...

Harry Reid: (Takes out the Plan and rips it into pieces, throws it up in the air and watches it fall onto the Senate floor.)

Harry Reid: Now that's what I call a dead Plan.

Eric Cantor: No, no.....No, It's stunned!

Harry Reid: STUNNED?!?

Eric Cantor: Yeah! You stunned it just as it was wakin' up! Boehner Plans stun easily, major.

Harry Reid: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. This Plan is definitely deceased, and when it was due not 'alf an day ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement to the House was due to it being' tired and shagged out following a prolonged whippin'.

Eric Cantor: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for the Koches.

Harry Reid: PININ' for the KOCHES?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it fall flat on it's back the moment were you taking it to the House?

Eric Cantor: It's John Boehner's Say No More offer! Remarkable Plan, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Harry Reid: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This Plan is no more! it has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'it to your elephant it'd be pushing up the daisies! Its legislative processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PLAN!!

Eric Cantor: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (takes a quick peek under the desk) Sorry squire, I've had a word round the back room, and uh, we're right out of plans. I think we need a new Speaker.

[AndyTiedye]

1. :) :) :)

:rofl:

[denem]

2. You are most welcome

:evilgrin:

[dipsydoodle]

3. Well done !

K & R

[Bucky]

4. The Pythons deal so well in absurdities. We could use a batch of them over here.

Of course it would help if we could provide them with an audience that actually understands absurdity when it's thrown in their faces.