Andy Borowitz reports about Chaos at Fox News about how to scale down the hate speech

[Mira]

Fox News Warns That Without Angry Rhetoric It Will Have 24 Hours to Fill
Would Create ‘Giant Hole’ in Program Schedule


NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Calls for a reduction in violent political rhetoric have plunged the Fox News Channel into chaos, with a Fox spokesperson warning today that such a move “would leave us with 24 hours to fill.”

“Let’s not underestimate the giant hole this would create,” said spokesperson Carol Foyler. “Fox without violent rhetoric would be like The Weather Channel without maps.”

Ms. Foyler said Fox was preparing for a “worst-case scenario” in which it was pressured to air responsible statements in place of its current programming: “If it comes to that, God forbid, we’ll just air 24 hours of ‘24’.”

In contrast with Ms. Foyler’s alarmed comments, Fox host Glenn Beck took the news of a possible programming change in stride: “If I’m kicked off the air, I’ll return to my first love: standing in the back of crowded theaters and yelling, ‘Fire.’”

But Fox commentator Sarah Palin was less enthusiastic about the new call for tempered rhetoric: “For the first time in my life I don’t have anything to write on my hand.”

In other cable news developments, CNN confirmed that it was considering dropping Kathleen Parker from its “Parker Spitzer” program, but said it had balked at Elliot Spitzer’s suggestion of “a different woman every night.”

[Schema Thing]

1. :) good stuff

[Mira]

4. Made me laugh - and I needed that.

Nice to see you Schema Thing. I keep hoping you'll check in with us in the Photo Forum.
I miss your input

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Some really funny stuff here.

Especially the Palin & Spitzer lines.

[pinboy3niner]

3. LOL!

Props to Andy! :fistbump:

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. Love Andy!!