BREAKING: Deal will also include another amendment...

[originalpckelly]

The "Housekeeping Amendment" is designed to change a few things that have become arcane in the US Constitution.

They include:
"We the people..."
It will be changed to, "We the rich and powerful..."

A few mundane and obsolete provisions will be edited out, including Articles 1-3. They will be replaced with the following:
"The government of the United States shall from hereon be a wholly owned subsidiary of a holding company, controlled by a consortium of American and international interests. Any attempts to change this will be put down swiftly."

In addition the Fourth Amendment, being totally obsolete as well, will be removed. The First Amendment will be kept, but a sarcasm smiley will be added. The thirteenth amendment will include one exception:
"Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. Coercion into a system of low wages and debt bondage shall not constitute involuntary servitude under this provision.

Section 2. Congress Incorporated shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."

And the Fourteenth Amendment will be revised to include:
"Section 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned, unless it is an obligation to the middle class. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void."

Well, at least they'd be honest, right?

[Mojambo]

1. No one ever reads the Terms and Conditions anyway. n/t

[midnight]

2. Don't kid your self....

[Adsos Letter]

3. You forgot one.

First Amendment shall be altered as follows:

"We hereby recognize the United States of America as a Judeo-Christian nation"

Subsections I-X will detail the appropriate reconstruction of the system of justice, and the "adjustment" of the idea of equal protection under the law.

[cascadiance]

4. Perhaps fix the 14th amendment definition of persons?

Wouldn't surprise me the way they are going, instead of the anticipated fix that would take away corporate personhood rights by defining the nebulous "person" as a "natural person" to take away corporate personhood rights that they'd "fix it" instead to say "artificial persons" instead to only have artificial persons like corporations have any inherent rights so that they could make all of us be slaves. Then perhaps change some other lines in other documents so that they read things like "We the corporate people" instead.

Normally I'd expect something like this published in "The Onion", but these days nothing else would surprise me!

[originalpckelly]

6. Yeah, I could see something like that too.

[PCIntern]

5. remember "Wea plebnebis"? n/t