the 30 year old staffer Gabe Zimmerman was engaged to be married.

[MrsBrady]

I don't know anyone involved in this incident.

However. I had a friend die a few years ago.
He and his wife had only been married for not quite two years when he died in a freak accident when he fell down a flight of stairs. Sudden and shocking does not describe what we went through.

They were in their mid 30's. Her life was changed forever. They had been trying to get pregnant, but she was not pregnant. They had their whole lives ahead of them. His death affected so many people -- including those of us left without our friend.

I had just gone out to dinner with them a few weeks before he died. I was excited to get to know them as a couple.

She was left with all the bills, the house payment, care for all their animals, etc...on and on and on. It was just so sad. It ruined her life in many ways. And 8 years later she's still affected by it. Of course she is. In fact, she made a new circle of friends....and doesn't really stay in touch much with those of us who knew him.
And I get it. It must just be too hard.

But I missed out on really getting to know her. And I miss my friend.

I feel so sad for his fiance. I don't know anything about her. But she will never know 'what could have been'. They will never have children. They will never have holidays. All her dreams are gone. I hate to think of someone else having to go through what I've seen someone else go through...young and losing your partner. And in some ways, it's worse for this young woman, as she wasn't his wife quite yet. How horrible that she's not his next of kin. Just sad. In a way...she's lost her future.

I hope she is able to find some kind of peace. There is something about this that just keeps bugging me, and I don't hear mention of Mr. Zimmerman or his fiance very much. Peace to her and his memory.

I am so sad for her, and I think of my friend's wife. And I miss my friend.


(edit: I don't think I need to hear from her specifically...

I think I just want to hear the media acknowledge her.)

[aquart]

1. I think it's an indication of the total devastation that we have heard nothing from her.

I think just making herself believe it is going to take some time.

[MrsBrady]

2. I don't think I need to hear from her specifically...

beLIEVE me I get that. She's probably in shock.
One good friend was so out of it when my other friend died. I literally had to help her eat, get dressed, etc.


I don't think I need to hear from her specifically...

I think I just want to hear the media acknowledge her.

[Ilsa]

3. I heard about that on Sunday and it reminded me of a young man

I had met who was a navy pilot. He died in a freak accident. His fiancé was so distraught that she committed suicide shortly thereafter.

I'm sure Gabe's fiancé is too distraught to be in public right now. The happiest time of her life has been torn apart.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. For some, the last thing that is wanted is people around.

...and for it to be acknowledged. Acknowledging something makes it real. And I hated that. I wanted to lay there for days, not moving, in order to not make time move on without him. I wanted to clutch a TShirt of his so hard that it would bring him back to me.

I still don't really want people who knew my husband around, yet I bring them around because my son needs to know them. He needs to know his father's friends. I, on the other hand, don't want to speak of him with other people-it hurts too much. I try to force myself to speak of him, or post of him here, and I end up hating it. I am jealous of those with partners still. It can't be helped. A lot of the time, some of us pretend we are different people, just to get through the day.


I'm sorry you lost your friend, and, in reading your post, I feel sorry and mad at myself for pushing so many of "our friends" (they were ours together) away. It was a survival thing.

You never get over it. You just try to find a way to get through it. It's been three years. I'm still trying.

[MrsBrady]

5. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. Thanks

I can only hope she finds whatever way she can to go on.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. I understand what you are saying. After my mom died we stopped having

"family game night" to which we invited a couple of my parents' friends. On the one hand I feel badly that we did that, because there was no real reason to cut off the friendships that we had had for years and years. It wasn't that my mom necessarily had to be the glue that held us all together, but it just felt so wrong continuing with that tradition without her. Even if we had, it wouldn't have been the same anyway, and there would have always been that empty chair at the table reminding us that she was missing. :(

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Exactly. My cousin (in law) was upset with her husband this year

for canceling their annual New Year's Eve party. That was the one tradition where he and MrG hung out and played Cribbage and Euchre all night. I can see why he did. It wasn't the same.

[Angry Dragon]

9. ...........

:grouphug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Thanks AD

it's club no one should ever have to join.

[proud2BlibKansan]

6. Very sad

[MrsBrady]

8. yes, it is n/t

[rbrnmw]

10. This is so sad My ex-boyfriend died in a freak accident on his job.

He died in 1994 at the age of 28 and there is not one single day I don't think about him or what might have been. He was the love of my life and it was so painful to lose him like that. I moved on married someone else but I still miss him and still cry sometimes. My heart goes out to her She will never heal completely, but she can have a life again it may take years though.

[MrsBrady]

12. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[Raine]

11. So sad to think of the future they would've

had, the family, all the hopes and dreams that will never be. :-(