Write a Note to the Survivors of Arizona's Shooting Thanking Them for Participating in Government

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

I wanted to call out all victims, including survivors, and felt especially moved by the woman Susan Hileman, a former social worker who invited her neighbor Christina to observe a political event that day. Having run for office myself, I understand how important it is for Congress folk to meet directly with citizens to hear their concerns and ways to improve government. You always feel like the citizens that show up are the best and brightest and that you're lucky to hear their views. It always feels like those events should be more of how we run our government. I hope we keep doing "Congress on the Corner" in spit of the shooting.

I am especially moved that Susan is still reliving this nightmare in her hospital room- calling out "Christina, Christina, let's get out of here." Let’s all consider picking one or a few of these people, to write a thank-you note, for participating in their government that day. Thank them for your courage and their integrity at building a better America in the midst of such attacks on government! That we honor their passion for living out their civic duty to make their government a better government. I pray we don't lose such citizen fervor as the result of this incident.

Address for Hospital:
University Medical Center,
1501 N. Campbell Avenue,
Tucson, AZ 85724,
[phone]

From MSNBC Link:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40981099/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

6 Deceased:
The deceased have been identified as:
Judge John Roll ,63;
Dorthy Morris, 76;
Dorwin Stoddard, 76;
Christina Greene, 9;
Phyllis Scheck, 79; and
Gabriel Zimmerman, 30.

Others Wounded On Saturday in Arizona
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords
The Democratic congresswoman from Arizona was meeting with constituents at a Tucson Safeway when gunfire erupted on Saturday.

Eric Fuller (Shot in Knee and a fragment in his back)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/11/eric-fuller-arizona-shooting_n_807218.html

George Morris
The retired airline pilot remains in critical condition. His wife of more than 50 years, Dorothy Morris, was killed.One of the couple's daughters said George Morris tried to protect his wife by throwing her to the ground and trying to get on top of her to shield her.

Bill Badger
Badger was one of several bystanders at the Giffords' event who helped subdue the gunman after he started shooting. The retired Army colonel was grazed by a bullet to the back of his head. He was later treated and released from the hospital.

Mavanell “Mavy” Stoddard
Stoddard was attending the Giffords event in Tucson with her husband when shooting erupted. According to a Washington Post report, she was shot several times in the leg, but was expected to recover.
Ron Barber
Giffords spokesman C.J. Karamargin told the Arizona Republic that Barber has worked with Giffords since she first went to Washington, D.C. Barber is a former administrator in the Arizona Department of Economic Security's division of developmental disabilities. He retired in 2006 to work for Giffords.

Pamela Simon
Pamela Simon, a community outreach representative for Giffords was injured in the shooting. Details of her condition were not available, but reports said she was expected to recover.
Simon has worked with Giffords since she came into office in 2007.

Susan Hileman
Green was killed and Hileman, a former social worker, was hit by three bullets, according to her husband, Bill Hileman.
Hileman was holding hands with her neighbor, 9-year-old Christina-Taylor Green at the Tucson, Ariz. event, when the shooting started. She had wanted to introduce her young neighbor to Rep. Giffords because Green was interested in politics
Susan Hileman remains hospitalized and in a morphine-induced fog. "I hear her in her semi-conscious ramblings screaming out, 'Christina, Christina, let's get out of here!'" Bill Hileman told reporters.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

1. My Letter to Susan Hileman

Dear Susan:
I want to write you this thank-you note for your courageous act of 'participing' in government on January 9th, 2011.

I want to thank you also for your years of service to other needy people as a social service worker. Most of all I want to thank you for
inviting Christina to the Giffords "Congress on the Corner" event. Getting young children interested in government is not only critically
important for all our futures but it widens the experience and growth of the child as well. You did a great thing that day for Christina.

You could not have known the horror that would unfold.
Let go of the guilt.
let it go gently. it is not your guilt... others maybe but not your own....
you are completely blameless for the senseless violence that found its crescendo in you and Christina and the others that day

Believe me when I say, I most want to say "you did a positive and wonderful thing inviting Christina and yourself to that event.
So don't for one second feel guilty or responsible for the tragic events that unfolded. Christina is now a role model to kids all
over the US for being interested in politics at a young age and participating in such a positive way. When I was very young I
took a train trip to DC with all the school Patrol students. It was the highlight of my childhood walking around the monuments
seeing my once great government up close and in person. I have loved politics ever since. I don't think our country is lost,
we can win her back simply by citizens being active in their government.

Give yourself a big hug, spend quality time with your lovely husband, take a deep breath and realize that you are no part of American
history, but your story in this history is that of HEROINE... and what you made of Christina by simply asking her to serve others by
her presence and her glory.. you made her an American Youth Heroine as well.

I'm grateful to know that you exist and I'm thankful you still believe in good government through citizen attendance.

Let me know if you or your husband need anything at all, I can provide anything you need, just call or email me.

Sincerely,

[pinboy3niner]

2. Oh, God!

I can see a similar letter, long ago:

"Thank you Mrs. Lincoln, for attending the play. How nice that you were able to persuade your husband to come! It is very responsible of you to support the theater arts. Sorry about the unpleasantness."

:eyes:

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

3. helping someone assuage the natural guilt that will follow

is not only spiritual

it's kind hearted and compassionate.

your note however.. mean spirited and sarcastic.

two different intentions.

Americans cannot lose the will to meet their Congressman or participate in government.

we need to thank people when they show up to make government better.

no one knew the outcome that day.

she did the right thing....

[pinboy3niner]

5. That is the WRONG message to send

Express concern, and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

But thanking a woman who brought a little girl to an event where the girl was savagely murdered (and congratulating her on her civic responsibility and "getting young children interested in government") is EXTREMELY insensitive.

I'll trust that your intention is well-meaning, but the effect can only be hurtful.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

7. I disagree...

few of her friends and family will harp on DROPPING THE GUILT.
They will say meaningless things like "recover quickly' which is interesting but it's the same thing everyone else says so it becomes a kind of numb mantra..
my friend blayne once said of his terminal illness.. for folks to quit talking and just do something, anything nice for me... it was apropo...

I use the word Healing because it's positive and attracts a better image....

confronting it outright will help her get over wasting large tracts of her life to something that was out of her control.

she can lament the timing of her attendance that day, but I"m saying for her not to question her interest in Government.

what's spiritual is often not what the world understands..

she might read my letter years later.. and I hope she hears this line most of all

DROP THE GUILT....

Release it gently...

it was never yours to hold...

[dmr]

12. I agree. Short, sweet & simple, as my dad would say.

There's no need for a stranger to make her think about bringing the child to an event that led her to her death.

In the woman's recovery, she will have loved ones & possibly clergy & counselors to help her grieve and process her heartache.

A nice, gentle & short thought sent her way gives more medicine than anyone can possibly imagine.

:hi:

[Name removed]

6. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. Uh . . . um . . .

yes, good intentions.

[aquart]

10. Edit the "no" to "now"?

I once read a letter written by an American a century or so ago about the birth of a child which contained a prayer that when that infant came to die, his community would be glad he had lived.

Christina's life was short, but I don't see the smallest doubt that her community is glad she lived among them, and would have been glad to keep her longer.

That's a prayer granted.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

15. i like your sentiment

it's a wonderful thought..

I'll try to rewrite and incorporate this beautiful sentiment..

[aquart]

20. I think I read it thirty years ago and never got it out of my head.

It's from a collection of letters written by one family before, during, and after the Civil War. The collection is called Children of Pride. It was a time when catching a chill could kill and there was no guarantee of anyone reaching old age. It gave them a perspective that changed the way I look at almost everything.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

8. Still Write a Note..

in the time it takes folks to argue with me about my note..

pen out one to any of the survivors and say what you wanna say..It Can be YOUR NOTE....

the hospital address is there.. go do good work instead of pontificating to the world.

if she or her husband doesn't like my letter they'll stop reading it.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

9. Yeah, wouldn't want anybody pontificating to the world.

I'm sure they'll have somebody filtering out the kook letters.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

14. am pretty sure by your tagline

you're all hat and no cattle..

I dare you to write your own letter to anyone involved in the arizona shooting...

I dare you..

misdirection aside.. it's easier to armchair blog it without doing anything positive for the world.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

19. I see below you're re-writing your letter.

Good for you. By the way,
I'm no hat and all vegetables.

Peace.

[NuclearDem]

11. Look, your intentions are good and honorable, but the message is horribly wrong

Thanking someone for attending an event where they were shot and where others they brought were killed won't assuage guilt...it'll only make it worse.

What we should be doing is expressing our grief that people should be in danger of losing their lives because of attending these sorts of things...that we're absolutely horrified over it.

We need to promise them that with all of our heart and soul we won't sit by and let this happen again. That we want the people who committed this act as well as the people who created the atmosphere to let it happen to be brought to justice. That these victims have the undying support of ordinary Americans, and that this isn't just something we'll let talking heads or politicians politicize to fit either side's political agenda.

Above all, I think they want our support and our commitment to never letting this happen again. Not our thanks.

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

13. Is it lost on you this woman was a Social worker, who I picked to write?

could it be she understands how to dispense compassion in families where violence exists?

because she's been in families where the dad is a wife/child beating alcoholic, or the mom a crack addict, having compassion for the kids that grow up in that environ.
Getting the kids as much help as possible before they continue the cycle of violence that besets so many American families and that cycle is rarely 'intervened on' by society because of religion, because of a hands off school and college infrastructure, decreasing govt' funding for social work, or mental hospitals, etc.....

Jared, like the VA Shooter, were both one sincere friend, family member or college adult away from NOT GOING There...
that my friend is the realm of social work.... we should all be doing social work, intervening in troubled youth lives all the time....

we don't know about Jared's parents, but we do know that many people including family, including college, including neighbors failed to do an intervention to his previous acting out incidents. there were many signs in that boy's life of how troubled he was.

so Susan might be used to seeing it less from the harsh "Stop the bad meanies from killing people" to a more compassionate and proactive wish that
people like Jared get help early to keep them from suffering for as long as he did,

she had a history of helping families reach out for counseling, mental help, and making govt' a helpful aide in that social work, etc. Jared, like most
Paranoid Schizophrenics with proper counseling could have had a normal life without violence on proper medication. there were even blog posts about him getting
back on his meds, yes he deserves blame for going off them, but we as a society have to steer our youth to safety as well....

I'd much rather bring Sarah palin and glenn beck to justice, because their heinous excuse for civil discourse were the scraps of thought
lying on Jared's table as he contemplated a way out of his own pain.

To be clear, I'm thanking her for attending a "Congress on the Corner" event.. that it had a brutal massacre was completely incidental to the
reason for the event.

and I do think we have to address her guilt head on and from the perspective of someone who is confronting and intervening on her desire to feel guilt about something that was completely as chance as getting hit by a car or getting into a plane accident, and about as rare...

it's like saying I"m proud of you for going to your sisters wedding and it's horrible that a car hit you.. but you can't feel guilty for going to the wedding.

bringing folks to justice is half the picture.. what we need to do is fix the system that drives people into crime....
have compassion for a kid that in one photo looks to be doing something good at a book event, smile on his face and in the next photo appears under the influence of mental imbalances which might be chemical or indeed, hereditary as was my cousin's case, his extreme shyness was an illness he could not help.
WE have a society that because of religion or male attitudes towards "I don't need no therapy", has a hard time confronting mental illness in the shades of grey that it actually is rather than the black white terms of 'it's bad incarcerate all mentally ill folks," etc.

there are not black/white ways of approaching this.

but the men on this thread see things in more black / white non spiritual terms and I just don't think that way anymore..

I see this from a totally feminine perspective....

but we do need the talking heads and the politicians to discuss the rhetoric that had democrats get gunned down at a peaceful event.

we very much need to thank them for attending and then understand who it is that constantly targets democrats.

[NuclearDem]

17. Wow, lots of assumptions being made there

Look, I'm a man, I have PTSD from my tour in Afghanistan, and I'm going through therapy. You know what hurts more, and what I absolutely hate hearing? "Thanks for your service", "Thanks for going to Afghanistan and protecting us". Because you know what? Every time I think of that place, I only think of what fucked me up.

You know what I like to hear though? People clamoring for a withdrawal from Afghanistan. People speaking out against war. You know, demanding for justice and not allowing what happened to me to happen to anyone else. I find my outlet, and I made peace with what happened by standing up against what caused my condition in the first place.

While we're on the subject, I could thank a lot of people for coming in to work on a certain Tuesday morning in New York. You think that'll help their grief?

Don't you dare for a second try to make this a "men are less caring than women" or "men don't understand spirituality as well as us women do" argument...because it's dead wrong.

And there you go, thank you for politicizing further--because I'm sure all of those people at the event were Democrats. Couldn't have been just some innocent bystanders. Or people who were just interested in how democracy works. Nope, we HAD to make it about JUST Democrats. I can already see where you're going with this. You want to thank Democrats for attending an event where a rabid conservative gunned them down, not offer best wishes or support for Americans who were the victims of brutal violence.

A man already grabbed a gun and politicized it for them. Now our politicians and our media are doing it, with only passing statements of sympathy and grief. Can't we as ordinary people, as human fucking beings, just DROP the politics for a moment and help them deal with their grief on a human level?

[pinboy3niner]

18. You're missing the point of the comments

Timing and sensitivity are issues with the kind of letter you want to send. A politician might send out "Thank you for your civic responsibility letters" after a party meetup barbecue on a nice, sunny day. After a massacre at a political event, when victims still lie seriously wounded in the hospital, it is grossly insensitive to make such a sentiment even a minor part of our well-wishes to the victims only days after they suffered traumatic gunshot injuries. And raising what is likely to be a particularly difficult grief issue at this time is a very bad idea.

I've lain in a hospital bed with serious gunshot wounds, and what I was concerned about, especially in the early days and weeks, included things like pain, exhaustion, wound treatment, surgeries, my family, medical consultations with my doctors, my nursing care, what was going to happen to me next, and what else would lie ahead, and for how long. The state of civic responsibility and participation, not so much at the time.

And my trauma survivor issues like grief, and loss, and guilt would be better addressed by a competent mental health professional with a treatment plan tailored to my specific situation and needs, not in a letter from a stranger recklessly pushing all my buttons within only days of the trauma.

Far from unfairly coming at you with some kind of male, black-white, non-spiritual response, your commenters are approaching this with sensitivity, out of concern for the victims. And some of us are trauma survivors who have been there before.

Love & Peace,
pinboy3niner

[JusticeWinsEverytime]

16. I love her husband's video about Guilt...

he's spot on...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41026260/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

says even though she's worked in Social work and understand stuff like this,
but worried the toughest part of her recovery is about the guilt.

so I did call the single thing I was worried about for Susan and the Horror images.

I will take this night to rethink a shorter and nicer note to get at the crux of supporting her to address but then remove ownership of any guilt for this event.

[pinboy3niner]

21. Have you reconsidered the content of your message?

Your notion of sending well-wishes to the victims is great. But I hope you've re-thought your message.

Messages will be sreened, and those that raise inappropriate issues will only end up in the trash.