With apologies to Paul Simon, I present "The Congressman:"

[DFW]

The Congressman (to the tune of The Boxer) by Paul Simon

I’m a pampered rich boy
So my story’s often told
Dad bought my seat in Congress
Through a campaign full of nonsense such are promises,
All lies and jests
But the voters hear the parts they like
And disregard the rest

When I left my home for Washington
I left both of my twin boys
In the company of strangers
Two nannies with pierced noses kept them running scared
Wouldn’t you? They would go flag down police cars,
Telling tales that are not true
Doing just the thing most Congresspeople do:
Lie lie LIE, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie,
Lie lie LIE, lie lie LIE lie lie lie LIE lie lie lie lie LIEEEE


I go begging down on K Street
To finance my next campaign,
But I get no offers,
Just a hint to spend some more time with my family.
I do declare, there were times when I was so hard up,
I’ve spent my weekends there
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

Then I’m laying out my bathing suits
And wishing I was gone
Mexico!
Where the MSNBC folks aren’t seeking me
Seeking meeeeeeeeee, Mexico!


In D.C. there stands a Congressman,
Politician by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev’ry contribution and
Cash hand-out, and golf junket
Til he boards his private plane,
“I am leaving, I am leaving,
I R S, I feel your pain!”

Lie lie LIE lie lie lie lie LIE lie lie lie LIE
Lie lie LIE! Lie lie LIE lie lie lie lie!
Lie lie LIE! Lie lie LIE lie lie lie lie LIE lie lie lie lie LIE!