That little fucking smarmy bastard Alberto Gonzales is coming to my school next week.

[originalpckelly]

Of all the people, and all of the saloons, this is the one guy I wish I had the chance to ask questions. If I get the chance, it will be totally polite, but it will harsh.

[originalpckelly]

1. What would you ask him?

[pinboy3niner]

2. Your school has remedial law classes?

[originalpckelly]

3. It's a college.

And he's coming to give a lecture as a featured speaker. This is pretty funny.

[cliffordu]

18. lol.....

:hi:

[pinboy3niner]

22. Hey, bro

I figured it was either that or remedial Ethics. :)

:hi:

[lob1]

4. Please be very unkind.

[originalpckelly]

5. I just don't want to get tazed in the nuts.

But it would be kind of funny to ask him something pointed.

[Historic NY]

7. You know silence and fold up signs say a lot.....

just imagine an entire row of unfolding signs.

[originalpckelly]

9. I barely know anyone, and I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me.

If someone were tortured with a portable electrical torture device on my account, that would not be correct.

Maybe a couple verses of we shall overcome.

[rrneck]

6. Get a Boston creme pie. nt

[originalpckelly]

8. No, I like being free.

I will however, ask him a question. Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, to keep from asking a fucking question. That's all.

I think I will be totally ironic the entire way through, acting like I totally love the dude. I will go 100% republican on him, and then at the last minute, give him a slight clue that I'm not really on his side. Sort of like Stephen Colbert.

[rrneck]

25. I like the eay you think. nt

[trud]

20. rrneck

Yeah, take out his eyes, you think? Not. Advocating violence is (something that would get this comment deleted by the mods.)

[rrneck]

24. A pie wouldn't hurt him.

Don't want to hurt anybody. But it would send an important message.

He's not worth hurting, only insulting.

[originalpckelly]

26. A pie might hurt me, you know if they taze me in the nuts.

Or just beat me up.

No stupid shit. Just the facts.

[rrneck]

28. Well, you got a point there.

Nut tazing is no joke. Maybe I was projecting.

[trud]

29. interesting that you have so little concern for someone's eyes n/t

[rrneck]

32. Interesting that

silly sarcasm can elicit such sanctimony.

Always a pleasure to allow others the opportunity to exercise their moral superiority muscle. Pardon me if I don't take you as seriously as you take yourself.

I guess I should add this just in case.

:sarcasm:

[MannyGoldstein]

10. Ask him if crushing a child's testicles is ever lawful

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/04/29/971038/-Yoo:-President-can-order-childs-testicles-crushed,-not-contractor-transparency-

[originalpckelly]

11. I'm considering that.

And I could find someone to record the shit on the offside of the auditorium. I have a class really early the morning he'll be speaking, so I'll be at school. If he's not a coward, he'll let us ask some questions. I guess I could try to sit in the front row. I'm going to try and look like a Republican. Fuck, does anyone know how to tie a bow-tie?

[UTUSN]

12. K&R #1 for, GO for it!1 Today's news is that Porter GOSS was also a tool for Kadafy

I knew that Poppy BUSH had been the innovator for using weak-minded TOOLS like Clarence THOMAS, the gambit of stealing a minority member and (back then) putting the Dems on the defensive for opposing them, and I classified GONZALES and Miguel ESTRADA as the same ilk, but it cuts across just minority-member lines into the Mediocre category, Porter GOSS. (Plus, remember Harriet MIERS?)

The Dems were in a quandary about how to oppose THOMAS, afraid of alienating African Americsns, but the simple answer to this gambit is: We simply take you (THOMAS, GONZALES, ESTRADA) at your word that you are a Wingnut. We won't call you names like houseboy or Uncle Tom. We will ignore that you are a member of a group that is mostly a Democratic Party constituent group and simply oppose you on the grounds that you are A WINGNUT, nothing more. And we will oppose you vociferously, no holds barred.

[grantcart]

13. Ask him how, with his highly faulty memory, was he able to remember the appointment.

[pinboy3niner]

14. *SPRAY*

:rofl:

:fistbump:

[Morning Dew]

15. I used to say "fuck you" to him pretty regularly.

That is, nearly every time I spoke with friends on the phone. It was a "just in case" kind of thing.

[MilesColtrane]

16. Offer to buy him a ticket to the Netherlands for a vacation.

I'll bet he would have "other plans".

[gateley]

17. X-Lax frosted brownies, with love from originalpckelly. nt

[NJCher]

19. protest sign

If you can't do this because of your question, ask somebody else if they can carry a sign saying:

"DID YOU EVER FIND A JOB?"


Cher

[MrMickeysMom]

21. Who invited him?

Are they having an asshole convention?

[Odin2005]

23. Oh lord, I had totally forgotten about Gonzo.

[sabrina 1]

27. Ask him if he's still wanted in the Spanish Court for War Crimes

or did the Obama Administration's intervention get him off yet?

[underpants]

30. How is he going to remember where he parked his car?

:shrug:

[pinboy3niner]

31. He'll waterboard a few people at random

He knows they know, even if they don't know they know.