Are we really so divided here at DU that we attack each other over how we felt during the memorial?

[cherokeeprogressive]

So some of us felt discomfort over the pep rally feel at the beginning. Was there really a need to insult and swear at those who stated their feelings in the matter?

God this place is so frustrating sometimes. No one who posted about their feelings were attacking or criticizing any DU'ers, but boy, what those people got in return, myself included was nasty at times. Necessary? I guess some would say yes. DU like? In my opinion, certainly not.

We ALL feel horrible over the events of last Saturday. I would ask that those who lectured about different styles of grieving, those who cast insults, those who said things like "turn it the fuck off then" would take our feelings into account just as they demand theirs be taken into account.

I hope we can all agree that President Obama gave a moving and very fitting tribute to those killed and injured in the horrific attack that took place last Saturday. The respect shown as he spoke calmed some frayed nerves I'm sure.

It sucks that we can get so divided and mean over how someone feels about a memorial.

[Gold Metal Flake]

1. What does it serve to have DU divided this way?

[valerief]

2. I suspect some of the posters whining about it aren't real people. nt

[timber84]

3. What is that supposed to mean?

[Cleita]

9. Trolls again. Many of them out tonight. n/t

[timber84]

12. I was one of the ones uncomfortable with the hootng and hollering and I am

DAMN sure I'm not a troll.

[Cleita]

17. There was worse. I do hope that you

learned through this experience that there are different ways of mourning.

[valerief]

53. Hence the word "some". nt

[MadBadger]

14. And I've also seen many thousand post donors like myself who were uncomfortable in the beginning.

[Cleita]

19. I understand that funeral traditions are different and

many may be uncomfortable with a celebration of a life that has passed. However, there were some really trollish stuff said tonight, but I will leave it up to the mods to decide.

[MadBadger]

20. The Crowd hooted and hollered whenever they mentioned the University of Arizona

Its fine to cheer and celebrate the lives of the victims of the survivors, but that to me seemed out of place.

[Cleita]

24. Or, maybe you weren't there because the cameras

and sound equipment picks up different stuff. Since there was a big UA presence there, I'm sure that there was some hooting and hollering. It wasn't a church and young people are exuberant at times. I thought it was a healing thing so everyone can move ahead.

[hfojvt]

30. that cracked me up

when I saw your icon.

My dad just went to his 3rd Rose Bowl. He might not mind people cheering the U of W at his wake.

[valerief]

54. It never ceases to amaze me what people let bother them. Ha! nt

[givemebackmycountry]

4. Sadly we are...

DU is a lot like America.
We hate what we do not understand.
I love DU and I love America.

And if you don't like how I display it?

Let's have a drink and talk, because we are all ON THE SAME SIDE.

[joe_sixpack]

5. That's a good point, but

why was there a need to analyze every facet of a memorial, for crying out loud? Some things don't need or deserve a play by play.

[MH1]

6. I don't know, I kind of expect it here at DU

for what it's worth, there were a couple points where the cheering felt weird (like when the death of Christina, the 9 year old, was mentioned - wtf was that?) but other points where it seemed very appropriate, like when Obama said that Gabby had opened her eyes.

So I'm a little with the people who felt it was weird, but at the same time, I recognize that different people have different ways of expressing themselves. It's not the first time I've heard cheering at words that I would not cheer, but the person cheering is cheering something other than what I'm focusing on.

If that makes any sense. :)

[monmouth]

7. It got much better once the President took control. He was wonderful..n/t

[AsahinaKimi]

Agree..

totally.

[boston bean]

8. I think Obama gave a very good speech and pulled it off well

And i also think he wished the crowd would stfu. He looked uncomfortable with all the hootin and hollerin.

And it almost took away the seriousness of the moment and importance of his speech.

[EFerrari]

23. What is the matter with those people, having their memorial

during his speech.

[boston bean]

26. The problem is cheering and thunderous applause when the mention of a nine year old

girl getting gunned down.

Do I think they were applauding her death, absolutely not.

But I don't think it's appropriate to cheer such a thing for any reason.

[EFerrari]

27. These events don't come pre-edited for mass consumption.

This is a traumatized community trying to find a place to stand. You'd think they could be cut a little slack.

[boston bean]

28. what should have to be edited? don't people know not to do that? nt

[EFerrari]

33. Traumatized people do all kinds of things with their mouths.

This probably isn't the best time for a lesson in decorum.

[Celeborn Skywalker]

29. Are you familiar with Irish wakes?

Those can get pretty celebratory and jubilant at times. Nothing wrong with it.

[boston bean]

31. So people at an Irish wake cheer upon the mention of the gunning down of a nine year old girl?

For some reason, I don't think so.

And that is what they did. I don't get it. I know they weren't actually cheering it, but they did cheer it.

WTF?

[Dappleganger]

34. Do you honestly think they were cheering the fact that she was gunned down??

[boston bean]

38. read again, what I wrote please...

[Dappleganger]

57. It still makes no sense.

[uppityperson]

39. I didn't hear anyone cheering the gunning down of a 9 yr old girl.

I heard people clapping to signal affirmation of what was said about her. Can you try to understand that?

If they were cheering gunning down of a 9 yr old, I'd be upset, but like you said, that isn't what they were doing.

It is an upsetting time, upsetting thing to have this girl killed like this, indeed.

[boston bean]

42. They cheered at the mention of it. it was totally inappropriate.

I have no idea what they were thinking. But I am sure they didn't mean to do it.

The cheering overall was inappropriate in my humble opinion. And I don't think I will change that opinion.

[uppityperson]

44. I heard it differently. I am sorry that you took/see it negatively.

seriously. I am off snark mode.

The whole thing sucks.

[boston bean]

49. the whole thing does suck

I also think Obama was extremely uncomfortable with all the cheering when he entered the memorial.

I was worried it would harm the impact of his speech, but I don't think it did. I think his speech was very good and delivered exceptionally.

And I wasn't worried about it for him. I was worried because it was an extremely important moment for our country. It was a serious moment.

All said, I think Obama was real good tonight.

[Dappleganger]

32. I am.

An Irish wake is full of all flavors of "improper", LOL.

[Pathwalker]

36. If it's not improper, it's not an Irish wake. Might as well be English.

:evilgrin:

[mmonk]

52. This descendent of Englishmen resembles that remark.

;-)

[Forkboy]

43. Which of these people were Irish?

[Pathwalker]

47. Many in the audience is my guess.

[Celeborn Skywalker]

50. That wasn't my point.

My point was that memorials can take on different tones and flavors and that one particular way of mourning isn't better or worse than other ways.

[Forkboy]

51. Having been to a few Irish wakes I can attest to this.

However, this wasn't an Irish wake. I know there was no ill will intended, but the cheering sucked, imo. Not Obama's fault, his speech was fine. The whole thing just felt ugly to me. To even have the need for it.....

[kimi]

10. It was what it was

My personal feeling is that, if you weren't there, if you don't live there, if you haven't felt it locally -- then you can't really know what's appropriate or not.

JMHO. :)

[RainDog]

11. it's part of the anonymity of the internet

I'm guilty of the same thing - not in this case b/c of my own prior experience.

but the anonymity of the internet makes us all much more likely to respond in harsher words - or any words - than we would in real life.

it's not just here, iow.

and there are some people who enjoy ganging up on others - in real life and on the internet - and nothing anyone can say will make them recognize the stupidity of such behavior - or how it reflects on them far more than anyone they may target.

[Lint Head]

13. This is a turning point in our nation's history.

[Dappleganger]

15. The bottom line is that it's not about us...

it's about the victims, their families and friends, and the people of Tucson who have been through such a horrific ordeal. This is their time.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Joe the Revelator]

18. Weren't you the person to get.a post deleted for "cussing" someone (me) for not agreeing with you?

[hfojvt]

21. kinda sad

especially in context of the speech.

Who are these people who are so quick to slide from "I disagree with you" to "you focking suck" at the turn of a screw?

[Tigress DEM]

22. Is there a Bulletin Board Therapist in the house?

You are right. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and opinions.

I wonder if people aren't in that "mad as hell" phase again and nipping at those close by from the frustration of trying to understand the insanity that is going on. It's so much to take in and until we are in the moment, it's hard to say in advance how we will feel.

Either that or some people here tend to the intellect and don't get the real difference between feelings and fighting words.

Then there are always the trolls.

Whoever stomped on you, it's too bad they couldn't be a bit more understanding. Hope this post helps calm things down.

[EFerrari]

25. When families are stressed out, they fight.

It comes with the territory.

[uppityperson]

35. It was not just how posters felt, but how they did it.

Nastiness is not appreciated no matter whom it comes from.

[fishwax]

37. there was also some nastiness in the other direction, for the record

most people I saw discussing the issue were reasonable, though, on both sides.

[stray cat]

40. Yes - not much different from some on the right

[Stinky The Clown]

41. I think you might be the one who posted to my thread "Shut the fuck up."

I'm not sure as the post was deleted. But I'm pretty sure it was you. Tolerance is a two way street.

[Moses2SandyKoufax]

45. It's the classic cherokee"progressive" op.

If someone disagrees with his position on an issue, he starts an entire new thread admonishing the entire board.

[cherokeeprogressive]

46. You're right. That was me. I surely wasn't telling anyone to Shut the Fuck Up though.

It's what I took from what you posted.

And, sadly, I guess the answer to the question I posed in the OP is a resounding YES.

[H2O Man]

55. surveyor's mark

[Stinky The Clown]

59. Heh!

Perfect!

[uppityperson]

48. +1

[Pathwalker]

56. For me, Saturday was personal. My NON fundie cousin was there in the shopping center

where the shootings happened. I didn't hear from her for over 3 hours and I was worried sick. She's fine, she hid in the back room of a store with her husband and other shoppers. She's in her 70's, and a good, strong woman. So, tonight I let my Irish out, and my native Desert Rat out, and cheered and hollered right along with the crowd. If that makes me bad in some DUer's eyes, I can live with that, because my cousin wasn't hurt or killed while trying to make copies for my brother's obituary. He's her brother, too you see - long story.

[Whisp]

58. who should have harnessed the applause? who was responsible?

that's what I don't get about the criticism. Did Obama have flashcards that read: APPLAUSE.?

The people in attendance acted as they felt. Who is anyone to tell them what to or what not to do or how to act?

of all the things to criticize, this is on the lower rung of the lame ladder, considering the reason for the event.

Jebus, people!

Can we just call it Freedom of Claps and be done with it?

---

btw, I was at a memorial service today for my father in law. There was no outright applause during that service, but at the reception after there were faces that smiled, and greetings between people not seen recently. That is what is done. It's feels wierd maybe, that at such a sour low time people can just carry on and talk about other stuff not related to the departed, but that is the way it is, always has been. I hope you approve. If not I will forward your disapproval to all in attendance.

[WilliamPitt]

60. That was a celebration of the lives of the lost and the injured.

And of the heroes who emerged from a horror.

People cheer at celebrations.