Are we losing our minds?

[salinen]

When I take a break from work(Architecture), I like to sit at a local espresso house and chat with whoever shows. Mostly, these are folks doing as I do, grabbing a jolt and engaging in banter. But I notice a disturbing habit about most people - they shout each other down. Sometimes the conversations are passionate, so, shouting the other person down is in the heat of trying to finish their point. But mostly, it's just a run on automatic robot voice recalling past experience and raising the volume to make sure no one interrupts. I'm known as the quiet one. Probably because if someone begins talking while I'm talking, I stop talking. I don't care, I already know what I was about to say anyway. I don't need people to affirm my ideas, it's just not that important to me.

Another disturbing trend I've noticed is the rise of violent fantasies against an unknown assailant. The conversations start out mild, maybe about movies, and then shifts awkwardly to some past demon and it ends with a threat against that spectre. Maybe the powerlessness people are feeling is manifesting in this need to mentally attack. I guess I find it somewhat fascinating and unnerving.

No, I don't live near a mental hospital. These are everyday common folk of all ages and backgrounds.

One more trend. Many people are so focused on their personal histories that they almost cannot talk about a generic subject. They seem to make heroic their own lives and relive those moments constantly. I'm not sure what this is. Perhaps again, it's the ego attempting to regain power by reaffirming that they are necessary and useful in society.

I also know people who do not exhibit these behaviors, but I think that's now the minority.

[Broderick]

1. 40 percent of Britons have mental illness

Maybe it's in the food.

[Bandit]

6. I wish America could get down to at least that level..

I would venture a guess that Americans are about 60% insane.....Just watch TV for an hour or so and it become evident..

[Broderick]

10. LOL

Mindless entertainment is burning the cones and rods and passing right into the frontal lobes, messin shit up.

[OneGrassRoot]

13. Re-quote worthy. :)

"Mindless entertainment is burning the cones and rods and passing right into the frontal lobes, messin shit up."

Yep, messin' shit up.

I agree.

:hi:

[Broderick]

15. Thanks

:hi:

[jwirr]

21. I think you got it. From gamers to couch potatoes no one is interested

in anything with more than one dimension.

[Broderick]

22. Oh heck, Kim K's wedding will likely have 10 fold more viewers

than the president of the United States address to the the joint session of congress. Illness? Yep.

I bet more people know who Snooki is than know who Joe Biden is! Probably a fact.

[DFW]

48. NOW I'm in real trouble

Who (or what) is Snooki????

[Whisp]

49. but one is just to Shut It Off, turn that dial, that is if you still have a mind to know to.

all in the name of Censorship! free speech!
why it's my god given right to be lobotomized, it is!

oiy

[OneGrassRoot]

2. My two cents?

In general....

People rarely listen to others. They're always thinking about what they want to say rather than truly listen to the other person.

Empathy is disappearing rapidly. People don't like to be introspective about what they're truly feeling, so they certainly don't want to understand what others are feeling or thinking.

Most interaction is very shallow.

This all results in the Cult of Me, but in a very shallow way. I think people are afraid to find out who they really are.

That makes me very sad. :(

[salinen]

3. Obviously

you think about this also. And I share that feeling of sadness. What is so important that someone feels it's necessary to shout it out? What that person is shouting out has been rolling about in their brain awhile. In some way, I think the shouting is an attempt to hear themselves. Like you say, they are not interested in the listeners, only to listen again to their own voice.

The superego on steroids.

[OneGrassRoot]

7. You're right, I do think about this a lot...

especially given my internal struggle to understand why so many people listen to Limbaugh, Palin, etc.

Another part of the equation, as I see it, is that authentic discussion is rare. People simply want to be RIGHT and prove they're RIGHT.

Hence, the shouting. I agree, so many people just want to listen to their own voice.

While there are positives to new media, I think Twitter and FB, etc., contribute to this desire to hear (or see) one's own words. And there's so much "white noise" out there, it's hard to think sometimes. Maybe they're shouting to rise above the white noise that is our society now.

Still, I agree: superego on steroids.

:(

[salinen]

12. Right, the new media

drawing attention to the self has never been easier. We're all superstars and superheros.

[Boojatta]

14. Surprisingly, GWB said neither that "know thyself" was the best piece of advice he ever received ...

nor that Socrates was his favorite philosopher.

[OneGrassRoot]

16. :)

:thumbsup:

[FSogol]

17. Add to that, that it is now possible to tailor all of your music and info to be nothing

that contradicts your world view or opinions.

[OneGrassRoot]

18. GREAT point.

Really, really good point.

:hi:

[krabigirl]

20. It is sad. I much prefer listening to other people's stories than blabbing about my own.

[OneGrassRoot]

34. lol...me, too. :) n/t

[FiveGoodMen]

33. "Empathy is disappearing rapidly"

If you wanted to point out just one root cause of EVERYTHING that's going wrong in the world, that's it.

[OneGrassRoot]

36. Word. n/t

[smirkymonkey]

38. K&R

I have noticed the very same thing. Makes me not want to really socialize w/ anyone anymore (however, I would love a few doggies!) and when I do find someone who is interested in the world around them (the real world, not "reality" world) I find that I can't get enough of their company.

I thought I was becoming a loner in my middling age, but I am just so bored w/ everyone. If I go out w/ people from work or other places, it always ends up seeming like a shouting match, with the loudest, most obnoxious person getting center stage and nobody else being able to chime in much. I would at least like to listen to an exchange of ideas. No, it's all "Me, me, me!!! Listen to me!! I have absolutely nothing of importance to say, but I can't say it loud enough!". Ugh - sometimes I just want to shoot myself in the head.

I agree that it's sad, but I am kind of happy to know that I am not the only person who has noticed it.

[salinen]

39. We might be the same person

I only really enjoy the company of dogs. People are becoming boring and loud and confrontational. With the most loud, boring, confrontational taking the center and not letting it go. It's a competition to hear themselves repeat their thoughts outloud. So what. O.K. pal, you're a genius, good looking, funny, and cleaver.

Dogs rule.

[Speck Tater]

4. They are simply imitating the behavior they see and hear on radio and TV talk shows. nt

[Gin]

9. yep...as I read that...I see the crossfire show and the screaming

at each other...the show ended... but the behavior escalated everywhere.

[rrneck]

5. We are consumers.

Information is not shared, it is broadcast.

Everything around us is designed to squeeze what it can from us in exchange for the illusion of uniqueness.

Subtility is anathema to efficiency.

Volume, either in sound or quantity, is cheap to produce and effective in dominating the conversation.

[OneGrassRoot]

8. I've seen it mentioned in several places recently that...

the only valued, marketable item in our world now is ATTENTION.

Someone's ability to bring attention to themselves, in any way possible, is what is marketable and thus successful.

Think Snookie and other reality show people, and, the Queen of Attention Mongering (for now), Palin.

Your post reminded me of this.

:hi:

[HappyMe]

11. A lot of people are so self-centered.

They don't want to hear what others have to say. Sometimes I wonder if people are forgetting how to communicate face to face.

[surrealAmerican]

24. It could well be that they are forgetting.

People in this country are far more isolated, for far more of their time, than any prior generation.

I'm not sure that we were any less self-centered 30 or 50 years ago, but, for various reasons, we spent more of our time in social contact with people who were not always of our own choosing.

[Amonester]

32. 30 or 50 years ago, there were nothing like wide-spread social media

or message boards to go to to read and write about everything, or specific topics of interests. There were almost exclusively 'physical' encounters in the real world that people could either organize themselves, or join in.

Technology changed all that.

[surrealAmerican]

42. In a way social media could be considered a response ...

... to trends that have been isolating us. They may be accelerating the problem, but they are far from the only cause.

[madamesilverspurs]

19. The O'Reilly-Matthews Syndrome n/t

[McCamy Taylor]

23. All people always talk about their personal lives. That is all we know as people.

Some people dress up the personal life issues as "universal" but that does not make them any less personal.

Is the author of this OP really listening? I learn a lot from hearing other people talk about their lives and their problems. And, if you are really paying attention, you can usually find some common ground on which to communicate.

[CJCRANE]

25. Some people talk about themselves...

some talk about other people, some talk about events, some talk about ideas.

A good conversation will probably involve a combination of all those elements.

[Kalidurga]

26. I agree it is difficult to talk about other people's experiences...

but I think the shouting of bullet points and talking points and all that stuff you hear and see in the media is kinda kooky. Really there is not much need to shout and I think that is the point of the OP. People are mistaking shouting for conversation.

[closeupready]

29. He shouldn't have to feel burdened with being psychotherapist for people.

That's not fair to him, as I presume he's complaining because they aren't reciprocating.

[OneGrassRoot]

35. I also perceived the OP's point as the focus on the shouting...

versus actual discussions, and how sad it is that meaningful conversations are rare.

Authentic conversation is very rare these days, in my experience, though I crave it.

I agree with you McCamy Taylor that I learn so much about myself when I listen to others and love to learn about others' experiences, and how they perceive those experiences.

I also think the "shouting" could be interpreted as not necessarily the loud volume of speech, but a general tendency for so many to "shout" where they are and what they're doing every second of the day via twitter, FB, etc., with the result being that they aren't seeing or hearing what others are trying to share, especially if the sharing is more substantial than which "Real Housewives" show they're watching that evening.

:hi:

[RegieRocker]

27. Different degrees at different times.

[closeupready]

28. Part of why I enjoyed living in France so much was the common language was not English.

Therefore, for all I know, the kind of thing you recognize here is common in France, as well, but if it was, I didn't have to be party to it. All I had to do was observe, smile occasionally and wave. And a little flirtation every day. Wonderful time in my life. :D

So you'll maybe get why I often wish I didn't speak or understand English.

[Boojatta]

30. Now you know how cats feel.

[closeupready]

31. LOL, guess so, never thought of it that way.

:rofl:

[Odin2005]

37. Read "The Fourth Turning" by William Strauss and Neil Howe.

America is entering a Crisis Period much like the American Revolution, the Civil War, and the Depression. It's only going to get worse.

[Broderick]

40. Wish I had time to read anymore

Too busy scraping pennies to put food on the table.

[enough]

41. I have noticed a different phenomenon, but perhaps related. The one place I go where I run into

a lot of people who aren't personal friends or colleagues is the gym. I go to a suburban YMCA that is very well mixed for racial and ethnic diversity, quite a bit of age diversity. (People bring their kids for activities and also for babysitting while they work out, and there's a pretty good cadre of elderly also.)

After several years it has struck me that while people talk and chatter all the time, nobody EVER mentions anything that could be called remotely political. It's as if we all come from a perfectly a-political world. We even got through the epochal election of Barack Obama without a peep from anyone (even though there were both McCain and Obama stickers on cars in the parking lot). Conversation is strictly limited to personal subjects, and never too probing at that.

There is NO shouting here, no conflict, but strangely I too sometimes feel as if we have lost our minds. As if we're all lobotomized.

[xfundy]

43. I first noticed this behavior years ago, with Chris Matthews.

He began talking over everyone. Then tv repigs started doing it too.

At the time, those it was directed at were rather shocked, and silenced themselves so as not to be rude, or to let the rude individual continue what would surely be a rare outburst. Instead, it became commonplace and seems to have infected half the nation.

[tawadi]

44. People do not know how to listen anymore

We are in the TV-smartphone-droid-computer age. No story telling, signing together, or listening to a radio. As sad as it is, the art of conversation is rapidly being lost.

[onethatcares]

45. if you want to make yourself feel great,

shut up and listen to what the other person is saying. If that gets to be too much,tell them you gotta pee and get up and walk away.

Yeah, we are losing our minds.

[MilesColtrane]

46. I blame "The View".

Seriously though, have you ever tried to watch that show? They talk over each other constantly.

It's like they're playing king of hill and the winner is the one who piles up the most meaningless words.

[Octafish]

47. Insane is the new normal.

If these times don't make you crazy, you don't know nothing about nothing:
You know something. And that's that this is a crazy world.
And if you're gonna survive in Rome, you gotta do as the Romans do.
And that is crazy. Totally.



Crazy but True: David Vitter was pampered by the DC Madam

[raccoon]

50. Anybody ever put their hands over their ears when people start trying to shout each other down?

Yes, it's rude, but so are they.