Rick Perry Orders Texans To Use Wildfires To Burn Books

[Ichingcarpenter]

By executive order, Governor Rick Perry has ordered all his fellow Texans to take advantage of the wildfires by burning all books that could be considered: unpatriotic, pornographic, anti-Christian, antipasto, pro-homosexuality, pro choice, communist, socialist, atheistic, agnostic, or any book published in a language different than American.

"I urge all Texans to view the wildfires as a message from God to purify your homes, bookstores, libraries, and schools from unamerican influences, such as books. Help thy illiterate neighbor by pointing out if they possess any satanic verses."

When asked if he feared that the ranch of former President George W. Bush would be engulfed by flames, Governor Perry replied, "The only good bush is a burning bush."

Governor Perry reminded that anyone caught burning a bible would be executed at the earliest possible opportunity.



http://open.salon.com/blog/littlewillie/2011/09/07/rick_perry_orders_texans_to_use_wildfires_to_burn_books

[sakabatou]

1. Even though it's satire

I can see that happening.

[Eddie Haskell]

2. What about the heretics?

Or should we just stake them out in the blistering hot sun.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

3. One must use ALL natural resources. Fire ants.

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

4. It wouldn't surprise me if it came out that Perry believed...

that fire ants cause and spread wild fires.

I can see it now. Perry at a press conference:
'God wouldn't have named them that if they didn't have something to do with fires. They are Satan's little helpers.'