need a laugh?

[kpete]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-horoscopes-week-of-september-13-2011,21362/

[Solly Mack]

1. ... (snicker)

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Unfortunately for your dream of having multiple gorgeous sex partners, attitudes toward sex will become much more open-minded just as attitudes toward nutrition and personal hygiene go right down the tubes.



Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22 You're not the kind of person who lets your physical handicaps stop you, but that's because you prey on people with even fewer limbs than yourself, you sick bastard.

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Due to your optimism, your death next week with come as a big surprise; however, due to your devout Christianity, what comes after will be a terrible shock.

[dtexdem]

3. Yeah, Sagi was the best.

But I also like Cancer:
"If you had just one piece of wisdom to impart to future generations, it would probably be unspeakably filthy."

[FSogol]

2. LOL.

Sometimes it's good to just sit back and watch the universe unfolding. But other times, such as next Tuesday, it's good to stop baby carriages from rolling in front of buses.

and

A hot bowl of soup and a good night's sleep can cure many ills, it's true, but you might want to consider the possibility that you have the world's worst oncologist.

and

This is a great time for romance in the workplace, if you're the sort of idiot who thinks that's even close to a good idea.