My dog just got fired! (yep, you heard that right!)

[Uben]

My black Lab just got fired. His job was to get the daily newspaper. He received a stipend of two dog biscuits for successfully retreiving the paper, come rain, snow, or sleet. But, our paper just announced the daily rag will now be delivered by mail. Add another one to the list of unemployed.

I don't know how to break this to him. I fear he will take it hard.

They said our country was going to the dogs, but now they're firing them, too. Looks like I'll have to buy him some "doggie downers" to quell his depression.

[TBF]

1. Aw, poor puppy. Perhaps he could be useful in retrieving slippers or something? nt

[mysuzuki2]

2. is he eligible for unemployment?

you have been paying into the UE fund as his employer haven't you?

[Autumn]

3. Mine retrieves the chickens for me.

If one of them won't come when I call her my papillon goes and chases her back to the pen. He seems to enjoy that job. He loves that because he knows he will get an omelette.

[boston bean]

4. have the mailman drop the paper at the end of the driveway.

[Uben]

9. No can do....

..the mailbox is on the other side of the street and he is not allowed to go into the street, for obvious reasons. I am considering subscribing to a newspaper that does deliver just so he can keep working.

The delivery gal has missed throwing our paper a couple of times over the years and he returned with the neighbors paper. I had to make him pick it up and return it to the neighbors driveway with a mild scolding (he a pretty smart dog, but his addiction to dog biscuits overrides his intelligence on occasion).

He actually knows about when the paper comes, and lets me know its time to go get it. I think he hears it hit the driveway. If I'm watching TV, he gets between me and the TV and gives me the stare. If I'm on the puter, he gets right behind the monitor and stares. He's serious about dem biscuits!

[Motown_Johnny]

5. what kind of severance package does his employer provide?

[Uben]

13. Unfortunately for him, he didn't read the contract....

...he was hired as "day labor".

Now, I'm not a republican, so I won't "kick him out and just let him die". No, I will help him find a new job....somewhere...somehow, and I know he will be just as proficient as he was with the paper.

He never understood why there was no paper on Saturdays (our paper prints Sunday thru Friday), so I have to give him freebies.

[Shagbark Hickory]

6. Train him to get the mail then. Learn new skills

[pipi_k]

7. One idea until he finds another job...

when he's not looking, throw the previous day's newspaper out where it would usually be and let him bring it in.

He'll never know the difference.

And while he's busy doing that job, consult with him on what other possible job he might like to do. Dogs can be very creative that way.

:7

[Honeycombe8]

10. That's what I was thinking, too! Good solution. nt

[Uben]

11. I actually thought about that.....

...but it kinda defeats the purpose of him retriving the paper if I have to place it myself.

[awoke_in_2003]

16. you said upthread...

that you think he hears the paper hitting the driveway- I think he hears the delivery vehicle first. The bass notes of a vehicle resonate pretty good. My dog growing up knew my grandfather was on the way home from blocks away.

[pipi_k]

18. That's true, but...

it might keep his self-esteem up until he can find another job...

[Voice for Peace]

20. shared sacrifice..

[dixiegrrrrl]

8. I had no idea the economy was this bad.

Poor goggie......
Is he old enough in dog years for Soc. Sec.???

Our paper fetcher is ..let's see.....gee, 42 already.

But I fear for him. He never saves his dog biscuits for a rainy day,
no matter how many times I have tried to warn him about uncertain futures.
fortunately, he has no children who depend on him.

[treestar]

12. Technology kills another job!

Some Chinese doggie is now putting stamps on the paper!

[dems_rightnow]

14. OMG!

And he doesn't even have bootstraps to pull himself up with.

[Safetykitten]

15. Poor puppy-bear. Put him on unemployment for 5 biscuits a day.

[LiberalEsto]

17. I can relate

Years ago my job was to write parts of the daily newspaper.

[Contrary1]

19. Meh...

:nopity:

If your lazy pup really wanted to find a job, he would. Probably just wants someone else to provide his doggie biscuits without having to do anything on his own.

Most likely the mutt has more than a couple puppy mamas on the public dole already.

I say let him starve...that'll teach him. And, once his health deteriorates, due to lack of nutrition he better not figure on me and my fellow Americans paying one cent toward his treatment.

[MadMaddie]

21. If he gets sick then he can depend on the local churches and

neighbors to take care of him and heal him...the government shouldn't do it....

[Liberal_in_LA]

22. You dog needs to be retrained. Sign him up at a for-profit college, paid for with big loans