Borowitz Report: Banks Raise Fees on Same People Who Bailed Out Their Asses

[Fire Walk With Me]

Introduce New ‘Thank You’ Fee on Debit Cards

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – The largest banks in the US made history today by hiking fees on the same people who bailed out their asses three years ago.

“We would not exist today without the generosity of the American taxpayers,” said CEO Brian Moynihan of Bank of America, which received billions of dollars of Federal bailout money. “And we want to thank them by assessing a special monthly ‘thank you’ fee on all of our debit cards.”

Becoming emotional, Mr. Moynihan added, “We think of the taxpayers every time we vacation on our yachts or visit our third homes, and we want them to think of us every time they try to spend $20 on groceries.”

[KansDem]

1. Not only do they bite the hand that feeds them...

...they'll break the fingers too!

Kapitalismus ist wunderbar!!

[nashville_brook]

2. k and r

[drm604]

3. Borowitz is usually satire

but this one hits the nail on the head.