UK Conservatives to try and look normal for three days

[T_i_B]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/tories-to-try-and-look-normal-for-three-days-201110034372/

THE Conservatives will spend the next three days trying desperately to portray themselves as ordinary humans. As the party gathers in Manchester, delegates have been given special instructions in a bid to prevent the conference descending into the usual freak show.

A spokesman said: "The country is in crisis and people need to somehow be convinced the governing party is not just a collection of pervert sociopaths. Therefore the delegates have been asked not to say anything to anyone at any time and John Redwood has been pumped full of temazepam and stuffed into the boot of Ken Clarke's Audi."


The delegates have also been asked to be as quiet as possible when they retire to their hotel rooms for their bouts of violent, fancy-dress intercourse. The spokesman added: "This year everyone wants to do the Angry Bavarian and the Dirty Greek Fisherman."

Tom Logan, professor of comparative oddballs at Roehampton University, said: "Tories often get pigeon-holed as a specific type of freak, when in fact the party has always been a 'broad church' of racists, homophobes and long-fingered, 50 year-old virgins who want to privatise the fire brigade.

[madrchsod]

1. daily mash`s t shirt are great...

[pampango]

2. Cameron under pressure from right wing over Britain’s role in EU

http://www.thejournal.ie/cameron-under-pressure-from-right-wing-over-britains-role-in-eu-243493-Oct2011/

David Cameron is coming under increasing pressure from the right wing of his party over its role in the European Union – amid calls for a referendum on leaving the bloc.

The Scotsman explains that the pressure over Britain’s role is further exacerbated by the publication of a book of essays, called The Blue Book, which pushes for a more right-wing agenda for the Conservatives.

The book is edited by David Davis – who ran against Cameron for the leadership of the Conservatives in 2005.

The party conference is expected to see heavy pressure on Cameron for his perceived soft stance on Europe and immigration – with pressure on him to commit to the repeal of the Human Rights Act, passed by Labour in 1998 to enshrine EU-sanctioned rights.
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The article from the Scotsman linked above.

David Cameron 'doesn't want to leave EU'

DAVID Cameron is facing pressure from right-wingers in his party to change his centrist coalition agenda by holding a referendum on EU membership and repealing the Human Rights Act.

A collection of essays, called The Blue Book, edited by Mr Cameron's former leadership rival David Davis, will today be published, pushing for a more right-wing agenda.

In a chapter in The Blue Book on the constitution, MP Geoffrey Cox' fire was mostly directed at the Human Rights Act which, he said, has led to judges making decisions which "are increasingly doctrinal and remote from the common instincts of the British people".

The issue is seen as one of the major dividing lines in the coalition between the Tories and Lib Dems, with Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg saying that the Human Rights Act is "here to stay" at the Lib Dem conference two weeks ago.

[SpiralHawk]

3. As if...

[T_i_B]

4. Lib Dems have already had their conference.....

.....not that anybody had any cause to listen to what they were saying.

[SpiralHawk]

5. Umm hmmm

sure

[T_i_B]

6. Carlos Tevez drops outside top twenty most hated people in Manchester

http://newsthump.com/2011/10/04/carlos-tevez-drops-outside-top-twenty-most-hated-people-in-manchester/

Reports are emerging that Carlos Tevez has dropped twenty places overnight in the Most Hated People in Manchester chart, thanks to the start of the Conservative party conference.

Mancunians can, for one week only, choose from a wide range of applicants for the prestigious title, although according to bookmakers George Osborne has already made the title his own.

Mandy Jones from Salford told us, “I thought the Tories had died out, but here they are telling us the things they’re going to do to make the gap between the rich and poor even wider!”