Texting in restaurants is “pretty dismal” - phones are the new dining companions

[Liberal_in_LA]

Texting in restaurants is “pretty dismal”

It’s a continual clash of technology and manners: Whether it’s appropriate to read emails and text in restaurants. Hey, you can’t text while driving so maybe there should be a law forbidding texting while eating in public places. Right? That might get some support in some circles.

In fact, one reader this week commented on the picture at Boulette’s Larder, illustrating a Sunday review of brunches in the Food & Wine section:

Good article, but bad choice of photo. One man is eating, the others are texting and totally oblivious to the dining experience. Pretty dismal.

It may be dismal, but it’s the way of the world. If you look at the photos, taken from The Chronicle’s archives of previously reviewed restaurants in the last year or so you’ll see that smart phones are our new dining companions. At least they’re cheap dates!

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2011/10/13/texting-in-restaurants-is-%e2%80%9cpretty-dismal%e2%80%9d/

[NightWatcher]

1. I'd rather people text than talk

[City Lights]

21. Same here. eom

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

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[DisgustipatedinCA]

3. Question: why do so many people hate cell conversations & sms in public places?

I believe there are lots of people angry about others having phone conversations and texting in public venues--there's ample anecdotal evidence for this. But I don't really understand it. Sure, if you're in a quiet restaurant and someone is being really loud on their phone conversation, that's just obnoxious behavior. But if they're just speaking conversationally to the party on the other end of the call, how is that any different than carrying on a conversation with the people at the table. If you're at the next table over, why does it matter if your neighbor is speaking to someone at the table, or someone on the phone? I have several idiosyncrasies, several things that annoy me. This was never one of them.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

8. One thing that makes a cell phone call more annoying than a live conversation is...

...with cells you only hear one side of the conversation. Two people talking becomes a general din that you can tune out. One person talking sporadically is tougher to ignore.

[Bunny]

14. The other thing I notice about cell phones is that a lot of people

talk much louder than normal when they're on a cell. That is annoying.

[Ruby the Liberal]

18. I do that and it makes me nuts

I have hearing issues, so tend to talk more quietly when in person and can see lips. On the phone, my dumb ass overcompensates for the perception of not hearing them as well by talking at the top of my lungs. Kinda like yelling at a non-english speaking tourist asking for directions as if the accelerated volume will somehow breach the language gap.

I try to acknowledge that by stepping outside of an establishment when I need to take a call. That way, I am "only" bothering people on the street.

I suck.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

29. That's partly because digital cellphones don't feed your voice back to you.

Something called 'sidetone.' I think landline POTS (Plain Old Telephone Service) had another name for it but I'm a little rusty on this stuff. But basically if you hear your own voice through the receiver you have a better idea how loud you're talking.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

19. Thanks for the reply

I see what you're saying. It's not the sort of thing that bothers me, but at least I can latch onto this notion and understand, if not empathize.

[surrealAmerican]

22. I think you're right, and I would add that, ...

... when you hear only one person talking, you react as if they were talking to you, even though you know they aren't. It takes a conscious effort to ignore a one-sided conversation.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

27. Because it's rare one can have a cell phone conversation indoors....

....that doesn't turn into loud talking and the "HELLO?? CAN YOU HEAR ME??" bullshit. It's also amazing that people will talk about the most personal shit on a cell phone that they don't in person.

And don't get me started on people who ignore a check out person in a store or a waitress while on the cell phone. Plain rude!

I was once in a restaurant when a guy told us all to keep our voices down because he couldn't hear the person on the other end of his cellphone. No joke. We all laughed at him and told him to get out if he didn't like it.

[leftstreet]

4. Another article analyzing working class behavior. These 'authors' need to stfu n/t

[valerief]

5. Texting while driving can kill you. Texting while dining can merely annoy. nt

[dawg]

6. Texting says "This person is more important to me than you!"

If I'm at a restaurant with someone, I want to enjoy their company. (And even if I'm not enjoying their company, I feel like I should at least fake it until I can get away. It's only polite.)

[SoCalDem]

7. Three individuals who could have been reading a book while having dinner

That's what I got from the photo.

Those three did not look like they were "together"

I have read during a dining-alone experience.

Perhaps they could have introduced themselves and shared a meal, but they chose not to.

What's RUDE³, is when people who ARE eating together, keep checking their damned phones...or when people in the next booth carry on a way-too-loud personal phone call

[Ruby the Liberal]

20. What is the difference between reading a book an email or a kindle?

And how exactly does one reading any of those disturb a normal patron who is there to enjoy a meal?

Author is reaching for pearls to clutch, IMO. The type who looks for any possible reason to be offended by another persons's existence...

[Name removed]

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[dtexdem]

10. That's right: observe proper dining etiquette by talking loud on your cell phone.

Texting is impolite.

;-)

[JI7]

11. i prefer people texting to the Douches on Blue Tooth

who feel the need to have private conversations loudly in public places.

[marions ghost]

12. pretty easy for me...

texting OK

Yakking loud on cell not OK

[Bake]

32. Unless it's an emergency text, let it wait until after dinner.

But it depends on the context and who you're with.

Bake

[hlthe2b]

13. If these people are dining by themselves, I have to understand...

The only way I can comfortably do so, is with a newspaper or other reading material... I think many people feel self-conscious eating alone.

I suppose in lieu of that, I might just pull out the iphone and read something on kindle or browse the internet. I'm not sure how texting is bothering anybody, though if someone were doing that while accompanied by someone else, I'd think it really rude.

Not sure what the issue is, actually.... :shrug:

[Bunny]

15. If you're alone, which some of those people seemed to be,

what could possibly be wrong with texting, or reading a book, or cruising the net on your smart phone? Other than maybe a quick trip into McDonald's or other fast food place, I don't go to restaurants by myself. But if I were to find myself dining alone, you can be sure I'd be reading a book, or doing something with my cell phone. I would feel way too awkward eating by myself and staring around the room. And if anyone is offended by my horrible manners, they are cordially invited to kiss my big fat ass.

[kestrel91316]

16. Texting is far preferable to the cell yell. If my companion were to text in

preference to talking to my face, I'd get up and walk out. The other diners would have no need to even notice.

[Ruby the Liberal]

17. "Whether it’s appropriate to read emails and text in restaurants"

This article is beyond stupid. If I am sitting at a local restaurant by myself waiting on a sandwich and a cup of soup, am I supposed to stare at other patrons or watch the wallpaper peel? Please.

Pre-cell/text/email days when I was in the restaurant business, we would always give priority service to those who dined alone. (Priority as in quicker service from order to table, less time between courses, etc). It was explained to me back then that it was because without a dining companion to talk with, the wait became exponential when compared to a table that had other things to focus on. Made sense to me then and makes sense to me now.

Thanks, but if I am sitting all alone waiting on my order, I am going to check my email. Anyone who has a problem with that needs to either get a life or refocus their attention from me back to their own table and dining companions - or both.

[LanternWaste]

23. All things being equal. I find it quite vular.

For my part, when I eat out with company, I feel them to be the priority of my attention. All things being equal, texts and phone calls to me will go unanswered as I think that answering them would be disrepctful to my company, and an indication that I am an incivil individual. All things being equal. I find it quite vular.

But that's just me-- a time and a place for everything rather than everything at the same time and place. I imagine many others simply look at it as part of today's norm.

[TwilightGardener]

24. Vulgar. I agree. Bad manners to pay more attention to your stupid ass phone

than to the people you're with.

[markpkessinger]

25. Depends on the situation

I draw a distinction between a person sitting at a table alone (that's a rare sight, I realize, in many parts of the country, but here in NYC it is quite common) who is texting, and one who is dining with others.

[tammywammy]

26. I drive my mom to my grandpa's (her father)

After spending 5.5 hours in the car with her, plus hours more than likely in a hospital with my grandpa, I don't really care if people think I'm rude at dinner. I frankly don't have anything to talk about after spending all day with her. So yeah, I'll sit there and surf the Internet or text with friends. Oh and my grandpa's dying, so yes I'd like just a little time to decompress emotionally and not rehash everything over and over. My mom understands, it doesn't bother her and that's the only person it matters to.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

28. Texting, as long as one is not ignoring the server, is fine

If you are texting with a dinner partner sitting there with you, I suppose you'll have to answer for that with them......

Cell phone conversations are a totally different thing.

[RB TexLa]

30. I'm sorry, how is this anyone's concern?

[Xithras]

31. Why is it rude? Because some self-anointed Mr. Manners decided it was?

The social ideals that we call "manners' are fairly arbitrary, and it's time to update them a bit. Who cares if someone is texting in a restaurant! If they aren't interfering with anyone else, what's the problem?

[riderinthestorm]

33. For my household the rule is no texting at the table.

That means when we're eating at home or in a restaurant. No texting at the table (and by extension no talking on the phone).

My kids are used to it, kids who are visiting are always shocked.

I don't pass judgement when I'm at someone else's house or when I see it in a restaurant though. Everyone has different rules. I just like to have a conversation if we're all sitting down together. Cell phones just block that. YMMV

[begin_within]

34. If you go on a date with me, you had better turn off your phone completely.

If you look at your phone even once on a date with me, you don't get a second date. Sorry.