A mental illness suddenly reveals itself in a young adult

[Catherina]

A mental illness suddenly reveals itself in a young adult
Parents of children with mental illness often struggle to get care.



That lunatic smile. The eyes that look "at you and through you at the same time." The rage.

When Darlene Bobich first saw the now-infamous mug shot of Jared Loughner, she immediately recognized his expression. Although Bobich has never met Loughner, the man accused of shooting Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 18 others, she has seen his wild-eyed look countless times — in the face of her own son.

"I know that smile," says Bobich, whose 23-year-old son, Peter, has been hospitalized seven times in five years for paranoid schizophrenia. "The dilated pupils — I call them shark eyes."

Like other parents of mentally ill children, Bobich loves her son and wants desperately to help him. But she also lives with the fear that she will one day get a call from the police, telling her about something terrible he has done. The first time Bobich took her son to the emergency room, at age 18, he told her that he had been forced to snap his beloved dog's neck (he hadn't) and was desperately trying to wipe imaginary blood off his clothes. He was poking at the air, explaining that "if he didn't push the buttons, we would all die."

...

Some families first look for help through the alliance's toll-free hotline, 800-950-NAMI, which fields 6,000 calls a month.

Bobich first heard about NAMI about 18 months into her son's illness. When she finally called, she says, the man who answered said: "First, take a deep breath. I know why you're calling."

Bobich says she burst into tears.

...

In some ways, things are getting better for people dealing with mental illness, he says. Federal law now requires that health insurance plans — many of which once provided little mental health coverage — make no distinction between medical/surgical care and mental health care, Fitzgerald says. He says he hopes that will encourage more psychiatrists, many of whom have worked on a cash-only basis, to resume taking health insurance.

...

The uninsured — including Bobich's son — face additional obstacles. Bobich, an administrative assistant, says it took her two years to pay the $1,500 cost of one month's medication for her son.

...

http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/mentalhealth/2011-01-17-parentspsych17_ST_N.htm




$1,500 for one month? Has this entire country gone crazy?

This is criminal. If the change to federal law, that health insurance plans can no longer distinguish between medical/surgical and mental health care, is Obama's doing, well I thank him.

[cali]

1. that is beyond fucked up.

disgraceful.

[Catherina]

2. That's the phrase that came to my mind when I read this- " beyond fucked up".

[Donnachaidh]

3. we have to pay 10K or more if our son is treated with factor ONCE

We've been lucky enough to live in a state with a good hemophilia society that catches the bit that isn't insured.

As to a grand a month -- a friend just told me her Abilify will cost $700 a month. For ONE drug. And she takes several others for depression and other issues.

And these newer psychiatric drugs can have extremely severe side effects. What do you tell a family that puts a family member on meds for depression who becomes suicidal BECAUSE of the new meds?

[hedgehog]

33. You have to play the odds with anti-depressants - yes, some

people get just enough energy while on an anti-depressant to kill themselves. However, when physicians started withholding scripts for teenagers, their suicide rate went up. I think the key is that for whatever reason, people have different reactions to the SSRIs.* ( The insurance companies sometimes try to tell you that they're all the same, that "A" is just as good as "B" but a lot cheaper. However, "B" may allow you to live your life while "A" is less effective than a sugar pill. Someone else may have the opposite experience.

The key is to work closely with the doctor and communicate what a medication does or doesn't do for you.



*In fact, I think any given medication has only about a 30% effectiveness rate with a random sample of patients. This leads people to claim the SSRIs are ineffective. Most people go through several pills or several combos trying to find a regimen that works for them. On the other hand, if you tried to treat a random sample of people with a given antibiotic, it won't work for a certain number of cases. You have to match the antibiotic to the infection. It's the same with anti-depressants.

[RKP5637]

4. It's not a country for people anymore, but rather for corporations that masquerade as people with

the blessing of SCOTUS for greed and gross profits. Now that is really so F'ed up. Words are becoming difficult to describe the shenanigans anymore.

[ananda]

5. Yes, this country is crazy.

Totally fucked insane.

[RainDog]

6. This is why a lack of affordable health care for all citizens impacts all citizens

and why for-profit health care is bad for the entire nation.

People cannot afford to pay thousands of dollars a month for medication - and they will go without health care because of this.

The number of hoops that people must jump through to find out if they may qualify for some assistance is a barrier to health care as well.

The entire system simply does not work, especially regarding mental health care, and has a negative impact on our society in ways that far outweigh the arguments of those who say there is no "right" to health care.

The reality is that it is wrong for a nation to allow companies to gouge families in crisis for the profits of a few CEOs.

[Mojeoux]

42. It's morally wrong and it's the kind of wrong that effects everyone

It's as deadly as the black plague.

[thaddeus_flowe]

7. Heartbreaking

"shark eyes"
Gave me shivers

[undeterred]

8. I learned about the first psychotic break watching ER

Remember the episode where John Carter and Lucy get stabbed by a schizophrenic patient and they lie bleeding out on the floor of the exam rooms? Carter was saved but Lucy died. The patient thought they were plotting to steal his organs.

Well, that episode was based on a true story of a resident who was stabbed to death by a patient who had a psychotic break and killed him at the hospital- the patient was an undiagnosed schizophrenic.

I don't think most people recognize the signs of mental illness to distinguish them enough from somebody who is just weird.

[Odin2005]

9. Here in Minnesota the severely metally ill get free heathcare.

[kickysnana]

12. Where? How? Wishful thinking that. n/t.

[Odin2005]

13. State medical assistance for those will disabilities.

[kickysnana]

17. Almost no psych doctors will take MA. There is little effective therapy available.

Last August cut all PCA hours for those who need help because of mental issues and there is no place for people with chronic problems except the street.

[woo me with science]

15. Someone is paying for it,

and the cost is passed onto us ultimately.

The problem is the entire structure that enables this spiraling of costs. It is outrageous that "health care reform" really did nothing to address this issue. The "cost saving" measures that have been touted actually have to do with limiting USE of care, not actually reducing what people pay for it.

Programs that give free medications to certain people do nothing to change the fundamental problem. We are paying much, much more than people in other countries for the same medications and services.

[Cerridwen]

10. If I had something profound or pithy to say, rather than just profane

and earthy, I'd type it here.

I don't.

So here's a :kick:

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. $12,000 a month

That's what a stay in Menningers was in the 1980s.

Mental health care is ridiculously expensive.

[Maine_Nurse]

16. Its a lot more than that now

It runs $1100-1600 per DAY for standard-level inpatient psych care here. "Add-ons" like one-to-one or two-to-one care, meds, secure transport for medical care, etc are all quite a bit more. $450,000 to $600,000 per year would not be unusual costs of care here for an inpatient psych hospital.

[Catherina]

23. So if I'm not a multimillionaire or I don't work for a corporation with good healthcare coverage,

my kid is shit out of luck. Is that it? Is this the "best healthcare in the world"? Really?

I'm astounded by these figures!

[siligut]

25. I was told that high price was intended to weed out the riff raff.

This guy was all about his lifestyle and didn't blink when he explained that. Another psychiatrist told a story about a friend's daughter. She was having "trouble" one summer. She was able to stay home, read and be catered to, she didn't need to be hospitalized. Of course, her father was an MD too, and she had access to medication.

KO is on right now, talking about the need for mental health care.

[Catherina]

32. Jeezus. Just Jeezus. I hope KO can help get the dialog started. n/t

[leftstreet]

14. K&R

This is just so fucked up

[sabrina 1]

18. There aren't words to describe the cruelty of the U.S.

'Health Care' system. It IS a national security issue. Mentally ill people like this woman's son do become violent and untreated, are a threat to society. We are supposedly 'over there' fighting 'them' so they won't come over 'here' or whatever slogans they are using now. Supposedly the money spent on these wars is for 'national security'. When our own Health Care system is so criminally negligent, and for profit, that it is killing over 44,000 people a year, that is a national security issue. And that doesn't include those killed by untreated mentally ill people.

It is criminal and it's all for profit. There should be NO profit making middlemen in the Health Care system. Why Americans tolerate this is beyond me. They are like sheep, in fact they even argue FOR it. So it is the people who are to blame, they assist in their own abuse.

[Catherina]

24. +1. I'm still reeling from these figures. n/t

[SoCalDem]

19. Health insurance will always be an issue for MOST parents of grown up sick children

coverage may be offered and by law now, cannot be withheld...unless.... the cost is more than the family can afford.

These ill grown-up-children will most likely never have any job of real consequence that would offer them coverage, so they mostly only get medical care when they bump up against the legal system.

Most will not kill anyone, but the mayhem in their lives will financially and emotionally ruin their family along with themselves:(

[Catherina]

27. +1. I'm in sad agreement. But we have trillions for weaponry! n/t

[davidthegnome]

20. The prices can be shocking

I've been on zoloft (sertraline - the generic) for about 12 years now - I'm 26. As a child it was covered by my parents insurance, at 19 I was put on xanax (alprazolam - the generic) as well. Fortunately there's a program here at the local pharmacy for prescription assistance for those without insurance, like me. So despite the fact that it's been an out of pocket expense for years, it costs roughly 30 bucks a month. I know many people pay a hell of a lot more than that.

When I was in MA recently for a couple weeks I needed to get the sertraline refilled. The first pharmacy I went to (CVS) would have charged 230 dollars for the prescription. I sure as hell can't pay that. So I went to the pharmacy at the Big Y to check their price. Fortunately the guy working that day was very decent, called my pharmacy at home and said he could match their usual price (somewhere around 14 dollars). It struck me as fairly bizarre how different it was between one pharmacy and another.

I know it's varied as hell throughout the Country - I've lived in California, South Dakota and Maine - and I've spent a great deal of time in MA. A lot of it for those like me is finding the right pharmacy. There should be some kind of price limit on these medications (in general), but there isn't, it all depends on where you go.

I've never heard of anyone paying 1500 bucks a month for psych meds, that really is fucking crazy. There's no way I could manage that myself, I'd be... not well. I can't even imagine what it must be like for someone in that position. Especially a paranoid schizophrenic.

Maybe there's some way DU could organize a fund raiser for people in that position? I'd have no idea how to go about it, but I'd be glad to help out with it.

(Edited for spelling)

[Catherina]

29. I'd be glad to help too. I just googled a little and checked the price

0f the first psychiatric drug I found. It's called Clozapine and is manufactured by the 3 of the big companies


Clozapine (sold as Clozaril, Azaleptin, Leponex, Fazaclo, Froidir; Denzapine, Zaponex in the UK; Klozapol in Poland, Clopine in NZ/Aus) is an antipsychotic medication used in the treatment of schizophrenia, and is also used off-label in the treatment of bipolar disorder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clozapine

The usual dosage of clozapine is 300–600 mg per day; however, some patients may require daily dosages of up to 900 mg

http://www.minddisorders.com/Br-Del/Clozapine.html

Price


http://www.medscape.com/druginfo/pricebrandimage?cid=med&drugid=5200&drugname=Clozapine+Oral&monotype=pricebrandimage




CLOZAPINE 200 MG TABLET, TEVA USA

Approx. Price: $3074.4 per 500Each

Then there was this

A robust decision-analytic model of schizophrenia suggested that the overall 1997 cost of treating a patient with risperidone would be $11,772.00 per year compared with $13,622.00 per year for haloperidol and that the cost per response is even more favourable for risperidone; $14,599.00 versus $23,040.00.

...

Cost-effectiveness was expressed as the total cost per favourable outcome, i.e. where the patient was responding to treatment at the end of the 2-year period. The probability of a patient experiencing a favourable outcome at the end of 2 years was 78.9% for risperidone versus 58.9% for haloperidol. The total cost of treatment for 2 years was $15,549.00 for risperidone versus $18,332.00 for haloperidol. The expected cost per favourable outcome was $19,709.00 for risperidone and $31,104.00 for haloperidol. Risperidone was more cost-effective than haloperidol and therefore was "dominant" in pharmacoeconomic terms because it produced a higher proportion of favourable outcomes at lower cost.

http://priory.com/focus9.htm

That was written in March 2007.

Last year alone, the price of psychiatric (and other specialty drugs) jumped 9%.

I'm floored.

Brand-Name Drug Prices Soar Far Beyond Inflation Rate
Jun Yan

If it often seems that medications are costing more than ever, it is not your imagination, as wholesale prices for brand-name drugs soar, while they decline for generics.

The average price of brand-name prescription drugs rose by an annual rate of 9.3 percent in 2009, the largest growth rate since 2002, according to a report released by the AARP.

...

On average, the price of specialty drugs spiked by 10.3 percent in 2009. In this report, specialty drugs included products that are administered by injection (excluding insulin, which is sold over the counter), have a dosage form costing more than $1,000 per prescription or more than $33 per day of therapy, or are commonly used as adjunctive therapy with other specialty medications. Biologics, antiretrovirals, and anticancer drugs are generally placed in this class. Both brand-name and specialty drugs have been on an upward price trend since 2002.

In contrast, the price of generic drugs declined 8.7 percent last year. Generic-drug prices have dropped every year from 2004 to 2009.

...
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/45/2/4.1.full

So as if the initial mental problem wasn't bad enough, they make it worse with making the medication unaffordable? This is criminal. How can people who profit off the cost of drugs, and the cost of healthcare, sleep at night?

[TBF]

21. K&R nt

[MrMickeysMom]

22. Yes, I believe it IS criminal...

Until the entire US Congress has to forgo health care benefits and continue to respond to the K street folks, they will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER will understand what over 50 millions people go without as a result of our health care system. It's bad enough when you are under-employed with no health care benefits. Try having to survive a mental health care system when you are without enough money for to have both food in your family's care and money for your family's mental health.

And let's not pretend the powerful in Congress don't have mental health care issues in their family. They have a great system AND the lobbyist. They have the pressure of staying in office. Well, if I had to choose to stay in office with the kind of health care benefits afforded to a member of Congress after so many years, and sell out to the people who put me there... the choice to sell out looks better and better all the time, doesn't it?

The rest of us will continue to watch helplessly until we've had enough of this nonsense.

[Catherina]

30. How can we get a say in that? I vote they get NO special privileges

that the rest of us don't have. This is ghastly. I'm sick of watching helplessly.

Seriously, how do we push to strip them of those kingly privileges?

[MrMickeysMom]

36. Here's what someone sent me today-

(of course, this was in my in basket today and I had ignored it until your comment...

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3
months & 8 to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was
in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to
become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty
people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the
message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. Term Limits.

12 years only, one of the possible options below..

A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when
they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security
systemimmediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system,
and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay
will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the
same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go
home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take
three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.
Maybe it is time.

Is it time?
MMM

[Catherina]

44. Yes it's time! "Congressional Reform Act of 2011"

Who's leading this effort? I want to join and make a stink.

Thank you :hi:

[MrMickeysMom]

48. Who's leading?

... I guess WE are!

I'll send it to mine, you send it to yours, but maybe it should be an OP of it's own, eh? :-)

[Catherina]

49. Let's! I'm in. Thanks

:hi:

[pottersvilleusa]

26. What a nightmare for a parent

I think sociopaths are sometimes born and not raised.

[Odin2005]

40. Uh, schizophrenia is NOT sociopathy.

What an offensive post.

[proud patriot]

28. I'm a mother of a child with early onset Bi-polar

at one time my son's 3 medications w/o insurance topped 1800 for a months supply. We've had insurance
but that hasn't stopped the outrageous bills from the bloodwork that my son must continuous undergo , do to his medications never being tested on children before. We must monitor his liver function.

I have the upmost empathy for this mother. our society makes it really hard for parents of mentally ill children . We are destined for poverty regardless of insurance or not plus the stress of all of our worry
it's a wonder we make it at all.

[Catherina]

31. I'm reeling here. And you're *lucky*, you had insurance.

We are destined for poverty regardless of insurance or not plus the stress of all of our worry
it's a wonder we make it at all. :cry:

My heart is breaking for you, for others like you, and for the many who don't have insurance. :hug:

My God, what does a mother in the projects do? This is intolerable!

[Cetacea]

35. ...

[GreenPartyVoter]

39. *hugs* to you and your son. It's amazing how much our meds can cost. Ditto with the lab work. When

I lost my Medicaid I lost most of my meds and am now trying to find some combo from the Wal*Mart cheapo list that will work for me. Doesn't help with the lab costs but it's some help, at least. (Luckily my kiddo is still able to get Medicaid so his stuff is still covered.)

[hedgehog]

34. On the plus side, when articles like this appear in places like USA ,

maybe we have half a chance at educating people.

[Krakowiak]

37. I'm on Washington State's Basic Health - due for the ax in March

Unless something changes, the entire Basic Health Plan (health coverage for low income people in Washington State) is set to be cut from the budget. They already kicked off half the people on it last year by raising premiums.

I suffer from debilitating long term depression, and unfortunately, have not always been good about seeking help for it. I'm going to give meds another try, and have a meeting this week with a psych, but am wary about going on medication only to have the carpet yanked out from under me in six weeks. Really a tough situation to be in. At least my family helps me in my day to day. I am very fortunate, and cannot imagine the hell that so many are going to have to go through when the Basic Health plan is cut. There are people in the middle of cancer treatment in Washington state that don't know what they are going to do.

here's a background article on the situation:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2013931685_budgethealth14m.html

[leftstreet]

38. There was a protest in Olympia today

Hundreds protest cuts in Olympia on King's holiday
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

OLYMPIA, Wash. -- On the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s holiday, hundreds of people rallied on the steps of the state's Capitol to protest proposed cuts to social services.

Facing a $4.6 billion deficit, Gov. Chris Gregoire has proposed eliminating or cutting programs that help the state's poor, including basic health coverage, food stamps and aid for the disabled.

Rev. Angela Ying of Bethany United Church in Seattle says the rally was to stand with the poor of the state. It was their way to honor King's day.

The coalition is led by the Washington Community Action Network. The group also lobbied for closing tax breaks for businesses instead of cutting social services.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/6420ap_wa_xgr_king_holiday_washington.html

Lots of people are about to get screwed...

:grr:

[Krakowiak]

41. It's a mess

I feel for Gregoire... with the income tax proposal emphatically voted down, along with the soda taxes (which normally I would oppose but given the dire circumstances was not in favor of cutting), she's in a very tough position. Most of that budget money is untouchable.

[amyrose2712]

43. Mental Healthcare is horrendous. It is so very upsetting.

My sister's meds would be would be well over $2000 per month if she had not been "lucky" enough to have an episode that finally enabled us to get her help, which led to her qualifying for Medicare. Geez, my BF has Federal BC/BS and we still pay $350 per month for his psych meds.

[Catherina]

45. And why are drugs so expensive in the US? Could it possibly be the profit factor?

I took a look at the compensation of the BOD and executive officers of pharmaceutical companies. The amounts are absolutely obscene.

[amyrose2712]

46. It is disgusting. nt

[sam sarrha]

47. i have PTSD from a catastrophic accident, i was told by doctor if i sought clinical help i could

lose my insurance.. and it didn't pay much at all anyway..i might not get reasonable insurance again.

if i got medication for a mental health problem a company would sell my Rx info to the insurance company.. it could effect future job possibilities..

i had a back sprain 20 years ago, i couldn't get a job for 9 years in CA. a friend that tried to hire me said his Workers Comp carrier called him on the phone and said it was OK if he hired me but if he did... they would cancel all his present 18 employee's policies and reschedule the payments.

the worst part of losing my hand was them re-attaching it.. i woke up and my arm was straight up in a sling.. 4 doctors were examining it.. i said, "why did you sew that dead piece of shit back on my arm.!!, at my age the nerves will never have time to grow back". they were experimenting on me. it went on for 5 surgeries..a horrific skin graft to my side for months.. their milking the insurance company ruined my health..mentally as well as physically..

the tendons in my hand drew up so bad they pulled my fingers back till they dislocated.. they still wanted to fuze all my knuckles into a "Pleasant" looking form.. i told them to quit experimenting on me.!! every time i go into surgery i get a life threatening infection and spend 4 more days in the hospital on an antibiotic drip.. cut the damn thing off so i can get a prosthetic and go back to work.." 3 weeks later i was back at work with my prosthetic. but i am a mess, i have quit screaming when i get flash backs.. but I'm still a mess, i have dysphasia, cant concentrate, lost any sense of organization. I've only been out of the house to go to work or to the grocery store in 4 years.

[Catherina]

50. Sam Sarrha, I'm speechless. I'm so sorry and so angry to hear this!

Words simply fail me. I hope you can get a prosthetic and go back to work. You're a very strong person to hold up to all this; I admire you even more now. :hug:

[sam sarrha]

52. I've had the prosthetic for about a year now.4 days after i told em i wasn' going to be experimented

on anymore they did the re-amputation.. i got an infection from the surgery and spent another 5 days in the hospital with an antibiotic IV drip.. that was the 4th time i had to go back in after surgery and the 5th serious infection.. sitting in a hospital bed wondering if it would cost me my arm or my life.. the second infection was the flesh eating variety, it left deep scaring.

it took only about a month to get the prosthetic.. it is great, i still do more at work than the rest. i work in Aerospace. i also have Aspbergers Syndrome. i have an IQ of 164, but i am functionally illiterate. i am a savant in mechanical things, I'm called the Psychic Mechanic at work. because i can fix anything. that is why losing my hand was so traumatic, besides the actual losing of it twice, and a year and a half years of constant torture in therapy. my employment opportunities are VERY LIMITED. i really cant do job interviews.. i cant see faces, i cant remember faces or names. i am not overtly autistic but ..i have no perception of social interaction.. it's hard to fake. when i was very young i used to practice in the mirror not looking weird, walking weird. when i was in the 4th grade i found a book on etiquette.. it was fascinating, i had no idea all that was going on around me.

th region of the brain dedicated to the hand is really huge.. when one loses a hand a large area of the brain is short circuited.. my doctor said most people who lose a leg have few problems with trauma compared to someone losing a hand. work is actually a refuge.. the rest of my life is falling apart. I've joined some meet-up groups to get out of the house and place some landmarks to time in the week.

the shooting in AZ was a result of the lack of mental health services.. in early 1970's i was a research Biologist, i got a job doing a research project at the Modesto state mental hospital in CA.. doing behavioral profiles on patients. i later found out the Reagan GOP people spun the research into program to farm out the patients to basically group homes without security..and close the hospital. the patients just walked away, the paranoid schizophrenics of course were never seen again.. i always felt bad i was involved in that. i an not in any way that bad off, i am just piss'n off my wife with my mess's cause I've lost my organizational ability, i cant get things done. i used to have several projects going at once.. i build computers and computer cases, meditation benches. i haven't been able to meditate for 3 years after 12 years daily. i studied under a Tibetan Lama for 6 years, meetings 3 times a week.

i joined some PTSD forums. I'll see how that goes.. thanks for sharing.

[Catherina]

53. You're absolutely fascinating and inspiring

Thanks for this update.

I never would have guessed all of this about you, not from reading your posts.

I'm glad you joined some meet-up groups to get out of the house. Isolation isn't the best thing. I do it all the time but I know it's not healthy. Also, don't beat yourself up about the research- you had no idea and you're not responsible for someone else's evil.

:hug:

[shanti]

51. :(

:hug: