Deer Crossing - Red State Style

[ehrnst]

- The Song of Hiya Abbott-
In the bar called Gitchee Goomee,
In the village they call Crown Point,
Sits the hoosier Timboy Abbot,
Guzzles Pabst Blue Ribbon freely.
When the far more cheery drunkards
Call out loudly "Hiya, Abbott!"
He slurs loudly, "Damn those Damned Deer!
Damned near hit my truck on way here,
Show those bucks who owns the road, man!!"
Types an email on his Android.
Falls across the bar unconscious.




Cross posted from Lounge (edited for typos)

[DCKit]

1. Thanks so much. I just coughed up a lung. nt

[LWolf]

2. Damn.

How do they train their deer to read and follow crossing signs? :rofl:

Our deer cross anywhere they damned please. And yes, there is plenty of road-kill. None of mine, thankfully. I drive slow and look for them.

And they're everywhere this time of year; day-length has me driving at dawn and dusk, and there are more deer than cars on the road.

That will change soon when hunting season opens; they'll disappear, to be replaced by the sound of gunshots coming from all directions, and by the time they return the days will be so short I won't see them except on weekends.

[postulater]

3. I've started to drive through the woods.

Since the deer are all on the roads, there's fewer in the woods.

[LWolf]

13. Good idea!

If I can just get the blm and the local ranches to leave their gates open, I can get to work that way, and the deer can have the roads.

[DocMac]

4. A newspaper printed this? nt

[jmowreader]

9. You'd be surprised what newspapers will print

We print letters to the editor three times a week, and it's my job to edit them.

When I got the letter-editing job, I was given one absolute instruction: leave the stupid in the letters as it is entertaining to the rest of us.

[DocMac]

12. I guess my expectations are to high lol.

We better lower our standards or face a lifetime of depression (sarcasm). I don't know how the emoticons work.

I'll try...:sarcasm: Found it!!!!

[jmowreader]

18. YOU try working at a newspaper without a little levity...

We publish in an area that has a Tourist Economy and no tourists, teabaggers who make their own license plates, and a baseball team that calls a 95-loss season "better than last year." If we didn't have SOMETHING to laugh about we'd go insane.

[Viking12]

15. It's for realz...

Here's a link to the newspaper's website publication

http://www.nwitimes.com/news/opinion/mailbag/article_c3a6319b-8e09-5a70-8814-e1c56d754a9b.html

[MH1]

19. Ya know, it's just possible the guy really meant it as a joke.

we don't know, do we?

ok, I just refuse to believe someone really is that stupid. If it was meant as a joke it was certainly successful. :)

[Sparkly]

5. Hah!!!

:rofl:

[FSogol]

6. My gawd.

:facepalm:

[Laelth]

7. That's funny. n/t

-Laelth

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. The deer have apologized and have altered their paths accordingly.

:thumbsup:

[RebelOne]

10. Glad someone notified the deer that their crossing had moved. n/t

[yellowcanine]

11. Tim Abbott is probably a 14 year old boy jerking their chain.

No one is that stupid. Are they?

[Odin2005]

14. Took me a second to get it, LMAO!

[mainer]

16. A state biologist I know got a similar complaint

A woman called him complaining about the "Deer crossing" sign in front of her house. "Move it," she said. "I don't want those deer crossing my yard!"

[Aerows]

17. LOL!

That's hilarious.