Pat Robertson: God Let Zoo Animals Escape to Bite Gay People!

[Better Believe It]

Pat Robertson: God Let Zoo Animals Escape to Bite Gay People
Televangelist Stirs Controversy With Latest Remarks
Zanesville, Ohio
Octoer 19, 2011

As dozens of escaped exotic animals terrorized the town of Zanesville, Ohio, the Rev. Pat Robertson raised eyebrows today by saying that “God allowed those wild animals to escape because he wanted them to find gay people and bite them.”

Rev. Robertson, who made his remark during a regular broadcast of his 700 Club television program, said that the Book of Revelation made explicit reference to “escaped lions, tigers and bears running around Ohio biting gay people” as a prelude to the Rapture.

The televangelist also contradicted local officials who were had warned Zanesville residents to remain indoors until the all the animals had been accounted for: “Really, those animals won’t bite you unless you’re gay.”

At a campaign stop in South Carolina, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said, “If the authorities are putting innocent creatures to death, I’m for it.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[KamaAina]

1. I think he's confused about the meaning of the word "bear"

:P

[msanthrope]

2. Thread win on the first post.....nt

[Gormy Cuss]

3. ROFLMAO

For the win!

[Enrique]

6. heh

:thumbsup:

[EOTE]

4. This article is a perfect demonstration of Poe's Law.

Yeah, I know it's satire, but it's so close to reality, it's perfectly believable. And it's so believable that Robertson would say something like that, it's not really funny. Maybe in a different time I would laugh, right now I just shake my head.

[Liberal Veteran]

5. Oh my! Is his confusing the Wizard of Oz, Friends of Dorothy, and the Bible....

...into pure nonsense word salad?

[Arkansas Granny]

7. What does it say about ole' Pat when you read something like this and it sounds believable?

[Swede]

8. He should write for the Onion.

Of course,you can't make this shit up.

[onenote]

17. By "he" I hope you are referring to Borowitz, not Robertson

[sinkingfeeling]

9. Why are insane people allowed on public airways?

[onenote]

15. Probably for the same reason that gullible people are allowed on the Internet?

[flakey_foont]

10. the Book of Revelations mentions Ohio?

how'd I miss that?

[sufrommich]

11. I laughed out loud when I read that too. Ohio,imagine that. nt

[flakey_foont]

12. does Revelations have any mention of

Brutus Buckeye?

[sufrommich]

13. lol! nt

[Better Believe It]

21. I believe the book also mentions baked Alaska, Turkey and Hungry!

Not so sure about French fries or Polish sausage.

[Initech]

14. That's the second idiotic thing I've read from the Xtian right in five minutes.

The stupid.... It burns!!! :banghead:

[onenote]

16. Seriously. You couldn't tell this was satire?

[Initech]

18. I've been on the internet so long sometimes the line between satire and reality blurs.

:rofl:

[BrendaBrick]

19. Yet another "Worst Person of the Wuuuurld"

[hlthe2b]

20. Parody or not... that guy needs a padded room... n/t

[Bake]

22. Too much stupidity in one post ...

Robertson, please just go on to your heavenly reward, NOW, please! Your stupidity is too much for his realm; maybe they can handle it in heaven!

BAke

[Aerows]

23. For a minute, I almost believed it

Until I say it was the borowitz report. Sadly, I can see BOTH of these individuals saying these things. That's how much of a farce these two are.

[AngryAmish]

24. video here

[Politicalboi]

25. So Pat bring some

Meow mix to catch the lions and picnic baskets for the bears. IF your not gay, they won't bite you, and if for some reason they do bite you, maybe the lion or the bear are gay.

Didn't realize satire till I read what Perry and Bachmann said. This sounds like something he would say.

[pipi_k]

26. Oddly enough...

when I read the title, I half-expected this to be real.

Borowitz is a comedic genius... :rofl:

[Renew Deal]

27. This is really funny

:rofl: