Just wanted to say goodbye

[NNN0LHI]

It is now 7:34pm Thursday (GMT) so we only have a few hours left until the rapture gets us all so I figured I had better take this opportunity, before it is too late to say, "Hey, it was real."

----------------------------------------------------

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/10/20/ap/business/main20123291.shtml

October 20, 2011 2:46 PM

(AP) SAN FRANCISCO — A California ministry says the end of the world is nigh. Again.

The Oakland-based Family Radio International that stirred a global frenzy when it predicted the rapture would take 200 million Christians to heaven on May 21, now says the cataclysmic event will destroy the globe on Friday.

This time, the ministry and its 90-year-old leader, Harold Camping, are avoiding the media and perhaps a repeat of the international mockery that followed when believers awoke on May 22 to find themselves still on Earth.

[NightWatcher]

1. Someone will have to let me know if it happens. I'm on a ship full of heathens

We'd never know if it happened or not.

[roguevalley]

57. Poor God and Jesus. Getting slagged for the stoopid. I will eat cake that day.

[nadinbrzezinski]

You are getting raptures?

GOOD ON YOU!!!! series!!!!!

[LynneSin]

20. I figured if God is rapturing he probably has the DU membership on the DO NOT RAPTURE list

:rofl:

[anamandujano]

34. I'm off to light a candle to help with that thought.

nt

[RebelOne]

35. Yep. so I am not worried about being zapped up to heaven.

And I know that I am definitely not on the DO NOT RAPTURE list.

[LynneSin]

38. Consider this - if you did end up in an afterlife that included Harold Camping

could you really call that 'heaven'?

[Old Troop]

50. So things will continue as usual. EXCEPT -- we get their stuff!!

[ThomThom]

83. yes, I got my bags ready to head out and start gathering

all the christian stuff laying around

[Capitalocracy]

64. All the undercover fundie trolls are like "OH NOES!!1!" nt

[KaryninMiami]

2. Is there still time for me to accept Jesus and get sprinkled with holy water?

My understanding is that given that I'm Jewish and was not baptized, when the rapture comes, I don't get a seat on the plane and am left behind with the rest of the non-believers. So if there's still time- perhaps I can find one of those drive through conversion places? If not, well, guess I'll just have to wait it out with the rest of us.

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. There is always time!!!!

Well until the end and 70k will see the light at the last moment.

[RebelOne]

36. Quick!! Go join the Rapture Ready web site and get saved. n/t

[Kennah]

104. Only $29.95

[Arugula Latte]

23. You also have to let Jesus into your heart. How is your insurance?

Because that is a major operation. Some doctors are doing it by threading a Jesus-filled balloon up through an artery and into the ol' ticker, but I wouldn't recommend that method -- too risky.

[mikeytherat]

45. That procedure is called "agnostioplasty"

mikey_the_rat

[Arugula Latte]

63. Well played, Sir.

Well played. :applause:

[mikeytherat]

75. Thanks! I'm here all week. Well, at least until The Rapture.

Still, remember to tip your waitstaff well. They're working hard for you, at least for a few more hours. Plus, we DU heathens are unlikely to get the Holy Escalator Ride, so when the bar owner gets raptured, it's free top shelf booze for those who treated the staff kindly!

mikey_the_rat

[msongs]

29. oh sure, it is never too late for witchcraft lol nt

[leftstreet]

4. The Rapture already happened. None of us got chosen n/t

[Bok_Tukalo]

5. The reason why these predictions are wrong is because the Rapture has already happened

There just weren't that many worthy.

[sufrommich]

6. Dammit! I just got done painting the bathroom. If I would

have know this before now ,I would not have bothered.

[LongTomH]

7. Let's see now: This Camping character first predicted the end of the world in 1994,

and that didn't come true because of a 'mathematical error!'

In any case, party like it's 1994!:toast: :beer:

[flakey_foont]

8. So Long

It was a nice planet while it lasted. I'm not counting on being one of the 144,000 elect that make Team Rapture, so to paraphrase Bluto Blutarsky
Time to start drinking heavily

[Arkansas Granny]

9. Yeah. Just my luck. I have a birthday and the world comes to an end.

[Avalux]

13. I hear ya - the last prediction was on my birthday, May 21. n/t

[Avalux]

10. I'll be driving through West Texas tomorrow, ending up in the middle of nowhere.

If it happens, I'll never know until I come back to civilizaton on Monday. :hi:

[redqueen]

11. Who's up for some post-rapture looting?

:woohoo:

:crazy:

[H2O Man]

12. "My only friend,

the End." -- James Douglas Morrison

[sinkingfeeling]

14. I'll still be here, so do you want me to watch your pets or water your plants?

[Turbineguy]

15. OK

I'll wait to buy gasoline then.

[malaise]

16. Bwaaaaaaaaah hahahaha

See you tomorrow :rofl:

[LynneSin]

17. NNN0LHI - it was an honor and thrill to have known you. Good luck with the afterlife and..

what kind of car do you drive and where will it be parked so I can claim it??!!

[RaleighNCDUer]

18. Friday??!!

But the next episode of Walking Dead isn't until Sunday! Wahhhhh!!!!

[jmowreader]

19. Harold Camping better watch himself...

The problem with Ol' Weird Harold's predictions is, if Jesus were to suddenly come down and off 200 million death-wish Christians, the world would be a better place.

[pinboy3niner]

21. Or you could just take...

...HEADON! Apply directly to the forehead!

Makes those nasty fairy tales just melt away... :)

[formercia]

22. Ramen

His noodleness will see you off.

[Larkspur]

24. God is a fan of the ND-USC football rivalry

and that is how I know that the Rapture won't happen anytime soon.

Go Irish!

[mmonk]

25. Better get my good byes in now I guess.

:)

[Javaman]

26. I think Camping is going to get ruptured...

after yet another bullshit prediction, one of his followers is going to kick him in the nuts.

[TwilightGardener]

27. I wish I hadn't spent time cleaning up the dog doo in my yard this morning--seems foolish now.

But my dog ate a whole box of Kleenex yesterday, one tissue at a time (as he eats one, another magically pops up!)--that's a lot of fiber, son.

[MineralMan]

28. Damn! And we were supposed to close on our refinance tomorrow.

Why does this shit always happen to me! :rofl:

[cynatnite]

30. Holy shit...I forgot all about that. n/t

[lpbk2713]

31. Ah shit.

I just renewed my homeowner's insurance and my car insurance.

Damn.


:mad:

[rhett o rick]

32. Wait, dont panic. I rescheduled it until next Tues at 3:00. Had a conflict. nm

[Fuddnik]

33. Ahh fuck! There goes our cruise next week.

Camping said this time, the world would be incinerated in a ball of fire.

[obxhead]

37. Quick!

Make sure to go to confession and participate in an act of mock cannibalism to save yourself!

[FarCenter]

39. Are the airlines requiring an atheist in every cockpit?

Just in case?

[Bake]

40. See ya right here, Saturday.

We'll all still be here.

:hi:

Bake

[louslobbs]

41. Wow, that was close. If I didn't read your post I'd have been in the bathroom trimming my nose hair

I hate doing it, and now I don't have to. Thanks for the heads up, there was so little publicity this time, that I forgot that tomorrow was the day. I don't have to trim my nose hairs........I don't have to trim my nose hairs. Now what will I have for my last meal?
Lou

[dtexdem]

42. Why say goodbye? We'll all be here on DU. But we can say "good riddance."

;-)

[Joe Bacon]

43. The JB Beverly Hills Homesteading Company will be in business on Saturday!

First I got to scout out all those vacated mansions due to the Rapture because we know THE BIG G loves them folks with lots of money!

[Ikonoklast]

102. Dude. Think this out for a second.

How many Beverly Hills mansions are owned by God Fearing Chrisitans?

[Joe Bacon]

106. Plenty, according to Joel O$teen!

Joel says the more Gawd love$ you, the more ri¢he$ you have!

[hfojvt]

44. uh, the rapture is only gonna "get" followers of Jesus, like me

unrepentant sinners, like yourself and most of DU, will be "LEFT BEHIND" to suffer the tribulations under the anti-Christ, otherwise known as


.
.
.
.










wait for it










Dick Cheney

[deucemagnet]

46. *fingers crossed*

I really hope he's right this time, because I can use a new car! Any tips for removing fundy bumper stickers? I have two unused DU stickers that can be used as cover-ups, I suppose.

[ladyVet]

88. Goof Off

or Goo Gone. Or in a pinch, heat it up with a hair dryer.

That's my plan, anyway. Thanks to an altercation with a very large deer on Wednesday, we are in dire need of a new car. And a new TV and computer wouldn't be turned away, either.

But then, it's nearly 2:30 pm, and nothing's happened yet. Bastids.

[seabeyond]

47. ha ha.... lol. i have a kids bday to do saturday. no one is missin with his bday....

see ya on the backside

[sarcasmo]

48. A new rapture, more proof religion is nonsense.

[Scuba]

49. Oh shit. Is that tonight? Whatever will I wear?

[Bake]

51. If you're leaving, can I have your stuff?

I mean, you won't be needing it ...

:hi:

Bake

[SomethingFishy]

52. Goddammit I pre ordered Skyrim...

Should I get my money back?

[onethatcares]

53. so I can quit worrying about that sattelite falling on my head

this weekend.

[Octafish]

54. Can I have your unused minutes?

My calling plan, it is a mess.

[Major Hogwash]

55. But, we've got a game scheduled for Saturday!!

I'm not going to let any rapture get in my way, I'm going to watch the game.

[Iggo]

56. That's weird.

I had a System Of A Down concert on the last Rapture date.

This time I got Opeth.

Raise a jouyous noise, kids!

[thelordofhell]

58. Yayyyyy Rapture!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIRG0QOEkyM

[Sheepshank]

59. Slowly undulating, buttons unbuttoned, slipping the straps off one shoulder....

...oh, not that type of rapture? Never mind


Buy everything on credit today :)

[mrs_p]

60. oh, is it rapture time again?

[rug]

61. Even if it happens most of DU will still be here.

[Iggo]

70. Nah, this is Part Two.

All the good people were taken up during Part One five months ago.

I'm afraid it's the fiery pits for all od us.

[Wait Wut]

62. Who are you kidding?

No one on DU is in danger of being raptured. I mean, I probably would be 'cause I'm so pure and saintly, but I'm a Pagan so no rapture for me.

Serious question, though...what if my husband (a pretty good Christian) gets raptured? Am I a widow? Legally, it could be a dilemma.

[a la izquierda]

65. Ah, I forgot about that.

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with my husband last week, and my kick ass Crossfit workout tonight. But I guess I won't be raptured anyway. I'm an unbeliever.

[NNN0LHI]

66. It is now 12:10am Friday (GMT) - Everybody still here?

I am here. Guess we all made it though the cataclysmic event that was predicted to "probably", destroy the globe today.

Back to the drawing board for good old Harold I guess?

Don

[condoleeza]

67. I think I"m still here

but it's been a long day and maybe this is hell.

[chill_wind]

68. Is it too late to make a deep confession, then? It was ME.

*I* let the dogs out. That's who.

[spiderpig]

69. I knew there was something behind those 2 earthquakes!

*Going on beer run to kick back and wait for the inevitable*

[GoCubsGo]

71. LOL!

My first thought after seeing the subject line was that this was going to be one of those "Good bye DU. I can't take this place any more" threads. Glad to see it wasn't.

[SidDithers]

72. What time is this supposed to happen?...

I'm meeting friends for lunch today.

Sid

[LWolf]

73. I'd like to petition the rapture to rapture up this list:

All neo-cons, neo-liberals, fundamentalists, imperialists, and war-makers.

My boss, Arne Duncan, Bill Gates, Eli Broad, and the Kochs, along with all other rats, and with biting and disease-carrying insects and bugs.

[Katashi_itto]

74. I am buying human shaped ballons to relase next to Westboro Baptist

Next time. And then start screaming "THE RAPTURE...THE RAPTURE HAS COME!!..."Just to see their reaction as the ballons float up into the sky...

[LynneSin]

76. Leave some clothes spread out on the ground

When you rapture, your clothes get left behind.

To add real realism - release a dog with a leash attached to it. Pets are not raptured either. Make sure you hide a few snack treats near the clothes so he stays around it and looks like the person raptured lost left their pet behind too.

[Katashi_itto]

78. Oh hell I like that!

[Iggo]

77. One of the greatest opening deaths from Six Feet Under.

Definitely my favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg

[Katashi_itto]

79. That is way cool!

[Viking12]

84. LOL

[Sam Hain]

80. I'd forgotten all about that!

But this sect has zero credib

[Canuckistanian]

81. ..

[chrisa]

82. That's just like Jesus to stand us all up like that! Again!

That guy needs to learn some responsibility!

[toddwv]

85. If I was an alien with advanced techonology

this would be an excellent opportunity for an EPIC practical joke.

[Donnachaidh]

86. ya know, I'm really gonna get pissed off if I pick out the prius I want,

AND the really nice digs - and this rapture thing doesn't happen.

Is anyone taking this nutbag seriously this time around?

[JuniperLea]

87. I have a nice birthday dinner planned for my second born...

I hope we can hold off until after dessert... but before the check comes;)

[Sheepshank]

91. Rapture Part 1 was supposed to occur during my youngest one's b'day

Made for an interesting party.

BTW.. I'm hosting a post rapture pity party tomorrow :)

[JuniperLea]

103. Nice!

A friend of mine is throwing a Halloween party... I should bring sets of clothing from Goodwill and lay them in piles. Always fun!

[JohnnyRingo]

89. I just paid my Visa bill!

Dammit! I should have checked my calendar.

On the other hand, if there is a rapture, I'm sure the credit card companies will be left behind to dog me for a payment into eternity.

[Liberal_in_LA]

90. nothings happened yet

[Marrah_G]

92. Wait- DUers aren't going anywhere

Don't you know we are all godless heathens?

[librechik]

93. Don, I could have sworn that you like me were a sinner destined to be left behind

to toast marshmallows over the fiery pit. Gonna miss you!

[Ikonoklast]

94. I think I found the reason for the delay this time...

[nadinbrzezinski]

99. RLOL

[bikebloke]

95. I'm in Stellenbosh, South Africa.

I've just checked into a backpackers and they've given me an empty dorm all to myself. I guess all the other travellers have been raptured.:shrug:

[Ikonoklast]

101. Uh...how do I put this?

Umm, when was the last time you took a nice, long shower?






















NOT THAT YOU NEED ONE!

[bikebloke]

107. I'm a clean freak.

Every two years, whether I need one or not.:)

[Initech]

96. Ha ha... Didn't happen last time, not gonna happen this time.

:popcorn:

[Pacifist Patriot]

97. Honestly, sometimes I wish this shit was real.

And anyone who expects to be Raptured would just go ahead and do it and disappear.

[nadinbrzezinski]

98. You still around

Or were you raptured?

[Liberal In Texas]

100. So long, and thanks for all the fish. n/t

[Kennah]

105. Well, fuck, me. I'm supposed to start a new job on November 1.

Think I should call and cancel or wait until Monday?

As I think about it, if they don't get raptured, and I don't get raptured, well then I guess it will be just the fun people left. If they do lose a few people, perhaps I can angle for more money.