Defiant Palin Sticks to Guns, Bludgeons Critics

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Mon Jan-17-11 11:43 AM
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Defiant Palin Sticks to Guns, Bludgeons Critics

SATIRE (http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/01/defiant-palin-sticks-to-guns-bludgeons-critics/)

In an exclusive interview with fellow Fox News personality Sean Hannity scheduled to air this evening, former half-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is certain to stir up even more controversy with a surprisingly blunt attack against those who have recently criticized her use of violent rhetoric.

Nearly 12 hours of videotaped run-throughs of the program furnished to The Desperate Blogger by a socialist Obama administration mole planted within the Fox network reveal a defiant Palin who — speaking within the comfort zone of her employer’s New York studios — goes on the offensive against those she calls, “enemies of freedom.”

“Anyone who would suggest that we limit the rights to free speech granted under the 18th Amendment — whether mine or anybody else’s — is an enemy to democracy and freedom who would destroy our country,” Ms. Palin said at one point, seemingly prompting Hannity’s right-hand to slip down the front of his trousers where it remained for the duration of the interview. “If the bleeding-hearts are so worried about what some looney-tunes might do when they hear someone calmly discussing the issues of the day on radio or TV, then maybe what we need to do is think about coddling the crazies a little less.”

When asked her opinion of how she would fare — were she to seek and win the GOP Presidential nomination in 2012 — in a head-to-head debate against President Obama, Palin came out guns blazing:

“From what I can see, the President reminds me a lot of that caribou on my TV show. He can look very pretty — some might even say majestic — standing up there. But me or any other well armed Republican is gonna have more than enough ammunition to shoot down his policies and, in the end, will wind up eating him for lunch. I would welcome a straight up, one-on-one duel with him — any time, anywhere.”

The recently embattled Palin, whose reality TV series ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’ was garnering so few viewers that even The Learning Channel noticed, and whose ‘Blood Libel’ comment in the wake of the media uproar over the recent Tucson shootings has decimated matzoh sales in ‘Bible Belt’ states, was visibly more comfortable and confident in the last few run-throughs after make-up artists were able to resolve the problem of her talking points smudging every time she and interviewer Hannity ‘high fived’ each other.

In a related story, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange blasted Fox’s Sean Hannity for comments he made last Friday suggesting that the United States should “…go in and take all the oil” from Kuwait and Iraq. “It’s one thing to give people a puzzle to put together,” an irate Assange told reporters, “but it’s another to just spoon feed them the entire plan.”

January 17th, 2011 | Tags: Fox News, Julian Assange, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, violent rhetoric, wikileaks | Category: Entertainment, Media, Politics, Satire |