DU Breaking News!

[H2O Man]

(Texas) DU News: Special agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation took former President George W. Bush into custody last night, ending a tense two-hour standoff in downtown Dallas. The crisis began at approximately 9:30 pm, when Dallas Police had a phone call from a man claiming that he was holding the former president hostage. An unidentified source from the Dallas Police Department confirmed that Mr. Bush had actually taken himself hostage.

An FBI spokesperson told reporters that Bush was demanding that the US Supreme Court hear a motion that he claimed would prove that he had won the 2008 national election, and that the Court reinstate him into the Oval Office. When the FBI hostage negotiator told him that this was impossible, Mr. Bush threatened to make paper airplanes out of the two pages of his legal brief, and to fly them into the World Trade Center. Bush reportedly claimed that he alone has been appointed by God to “provide needed protection to the Home Land.”

Negotiations appeared to be moving forward when the FBI allowed a package to be delivered to Mr. Bush. Sources said that Mr. Bush had demanded a ham sandwich and 12-pack of Budweiser beer. The negotiations then broke down when Mr. Bush demanded that Sgt. Barry Sadler's 1966 single, “Ballad of the Green Berets,” be named as the new National Anthem, in honor of Bush's service in the National Guard.

At approximately 11:45 pm, the special agents were able to take Mr. Bush into custody, after he had briefly blacked out as a result of his alcohol intake.

[myrna minx]

1. Love it. Bush has a certain Bundy-esque look to him in that photo. n/t

:rofl:

[Pacifist Patriot]

21. Oooo, doesn't he though?

[Shagbark Hickory]

2. I posted a near identical post but with Sarah Palin in the photo back around the Gabby Giffords

incident. It sparked quite possibly the biggest outrage and was promptly moved to the Lounge.

I've since learned my lesson.

:popcorn:

[H2O Man]

3. Big difference.

This news story is as true as 99.9999% of what the corporate media reports.

[Shagbark Hickory]

8. So was my post.

[H2O Man]

9. Yes, but

my breaking news report is happy.

[Shagbark Hickory]

12. So was mine!!! And it had a really awesome photoshopped image in it!

[H2O Man]

18. Yes, but

my breaking news story could be true. It could happen at any time. In fact, it may already have taken place, but the corporate media is too busy injecting social novocaine into the public consciousness, to numb people to the painful reality of our times.

I think that your news story had merit, too.

[JuniperLea]

4. Love his number too...

Love it!

[dogknob]

5. Bwahahahahaha! That's awesome!

[JackintheGreen]

6. When did Chris Elliot join the FBI?

...and I just dated myself.

[AsahinaKimi]

7. If only this

were really true...! Please don't make me cry, H20 Man... I don't want to be disappointed again.

[Cleita]

10. I'm with you.

If only something like this would happen.

:cry:

[MagickMuffin]

11. No wonder he wasn't at the ball game last night

:evilgrin:

I wondered last night while watching the ball game, where oh where was GW. Apparently he had other obligations.

[Me.]

13. When You're Bad You're Really, Really Good

[lunatica]

14. Those Tim McVeigh FBI agents get around.

[Rex]

15. You are a true artist!

Bravo! The LOOK on GWBs face... :rofl:

Thanks for cheering me up, I needed that!

[Fumesucker]

16. Link or it didn't happen..

;)

:hi:

[H2O Man]

17. Bush is the

missing link.

[babylonsister]

19. Stirring it up, aren't you, you wiley guy.

I honestly love this, from you no less! :hug:

[autorank]

20. LOL k*r

They've got the right guards on him;)

[AikidoSoul]

22. Wooooooo baby!!! If only this was true!

I would pee my shorts from laughing too hard. :)