Suzi Hileman will never get over the death of Christina

[malaise]

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/la-na-survivor-20110116,0,3704370,full.story
<snip>

In her dreams, Suzi kept reliving the last moments before she lost consciousness: lying on her side in a parking lot, face-to-face with her 9-year-old neighbor, Christina-Taylor Green, whom she had taken that day to meet their congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords.

"The sadness of it is bottomless," Bill Hileman said as he took a break from his bedside vigil at Tucson's University Medical Center. "She took a friend's kid away and didn't bring her back."

The hospital has listed Suzi's condition as good. But on Friday, she saw her scarred body and extensive wounds for the first time. Her grief over the tragedy and Christina's death overwhelmed her, and she broke down and sobbed uncontrollably.

"I hugged her. All I can do is hug her and cry with her and mourn the loss," he said. "There need be no guilt. There is a tremendous sense of loss that keeps feeling bigger.... This is going to be with us forever."

[Delphinus]

1. I hope

she finds the help she needs. This is very sad.

[hlthe2b]

2. This has to be the worst ...

Honestly, how would one get over this--the survivor's guilt? Everyone can recognize that she should not feel guilt, but how hard would it be to mourn the child's loss while experiencing that of the parents every day forward?

So very very sad.

[JI7]

3. i think she is going to have the toughest time dealing with this

it would probably have been easier for her to deal with a more serious injury from the shooting than the feelings of guilt over something that was not her fault in any way.

what she did was something good. bringing others especially young kids they know are into politics to an event to meet their member. Christina was excited about it . even though she knows the shooting itself wasn't her fault she will probably keep thinking back to how if she just had just decided to go alone Christina would still be alive. the sad thing is she is probably the type who does a lot of good things and in the future will be less likely to get others , especially young kids invovled in good things .

Christina's family will be supportive and i hope them along with other friends and family can help her deal with this.

[Major Hogwash]

4. She must come to realize, it is not her fault.

I talked to my own father once about this very thing when I was a child about 10 years old. It was after a car accident took place in my hometown and it wound up with a friend's child being killed in the accident, that had been along with them for the short trip across town.

A few days after that accident, I asked my dad when a family friend offered to give me and his son a ride to football practice once, and he said okay.
Later on, after I got home from practice, he asked me how it went, and I said it went all right.
He told me that he thought about saying "no" to me when I asked him for permission because he wasn't sure if he should let me go with my friend.
But, he said, so much of what happens to us during our lives occurs to us, outside of our control, that there is no sense in worrying about everything that may happen.

You can't stay inside and have a full life if you are afraid something might go wrong.

Besides, Christina died doing what she really wanted to be doing, talking about politics with a real, honest-to-gawd politician in her own hometown. Representative Giffords has a lot of respect from her constituents in her district and I am sure that Christina was thrilled to be going to that event, to have the chance to meet her.

No one could have predicted the nightmare that occurred that day.

But, no one can predict tornadoes very well, either.
Sometimes, bad and terrible things happen that don't make any sense to us.
This is one of them.

We have to look within ourselves in order to deal with it.
I hope that Suzi comes to realize that she did nothing wrong, that she couldn't have prevented what happened on that terrible, horrible day.

My prayers are with Suzi and Bill, and with all of the families of the victims of that tragic event.

[jdadd]

5. That's really good advice....

"so much of what happens to us during our lives occurs to us, outside of our control, that there is no sense in worrying about everything that may happen."

My Father was always a "what If" person. I grew up carrying all those anxieties into my own life. I've spent years just learning,to let them go!!

[malaise]

6. Nice post

I hope she recovers