We are handing you over to Satan and his kingdom of darkness!

[MODem75]

Saw this posted on another forum.

[Edweird]

1. Promises, promises.. There you go sweet talking me again.

[Major Hogwash]

2. I wonder if they have the debbil on speed dial.

That is very weird. Almost like they "owned" his soul.

[rpannier]

3. Don't feel bad

Satan has Black Sabbath and the Grateful Dead
God has Pat Boone

[Scuba]

4. "Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last."

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. There is indeed a part in the new testament where it says a church may turn out

a person to the darkness...which kinda goes against the majority of things Christ said about loving others as yourself and forgiveness.

:shrug:

[notadmblnd]

12. Jesus didn't establish a church. Jesus was a Jew

Paul established the church. I've never like Paul or his church. I don't think Jesus ever spoke through him. I think he was a sociopath who craved aggrandizement. The church was Paul's game and Paul wrote the rules. Not Christ.

[Fire Walk With Me]

14. Yes, I believe the bible quote to which I'm referring was not from Jesus but from people.

[notadmblnd]

17. That's the reason it sounds so un-Christ like

that's all I was saying :shrug:

[white_wolf]

6. Lame. At least when the Catholics excommunicate you, they have the Pope do it.

If I'm going to get a letter saying I'm going to hell, it better be from someone famous.

[TwilightGardener]

7. Well...that sounds unpleasant.

[originalpckelly]

8. God: The one who gives people cancer, including little kids.

Satan: The one who tells people to go out and get laid, drink a little, and listen to the good music God (or rather his presumptuous followers) tell them not to listen to.

I pick Satan. Hopefully, all of you will do the same thing too. If you do not listen to enough good music, do enough drugs or get laid enough, we will be forced to make you walk all the way up the stairs to heaven and listen to Jesus tell that story of how his mom was knocked up by God (also known as that guy in the next tent over.)

[RKP5637]

11. +1, n/t

[RainDog]

9. cult in action

fear if you do not do what the group tells you to. shunning. threats of death.

what a loving group...

[RKP5637]

10. I hope the line isn't too long, maybe I should make a reservation. What a

pompous asshole.

[ThoughtCriminal]

13. In return, Satan offered a goat and a 3rd round draft pick.

After some debate, the Cornerstone Reformed Church has decided to accept the trade.

[Odin2005]

15. Too funny!

[Cleita]

16. Pastor Shade?

With that last name it seems the pastor shouldn't be casting stones.

[Boojatta]

18. Do they earn Air Miles for that?

[Motown_Johnny]

19. and in Matthew 18: 21-22 it says....

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.





Any chance this pastor gave this person 490 chances before handing him/her over to Satan?



Maybe he needs to read a little more of that book he seems to like so much

[lonestarnot]

20. hmmmf. some more culters?

[eridani]

21. So, whatever happened to Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light?

Darning the guy to heck for a half hour or so should have sufficed for this infraction.